Hi friends! 😀
I hope that you’re having an awesome day because it is an awesome day. Not only is it the tastiest day of the week, thanks to the beautiful Jenn over at Peas and Crayons, but today also marks the three month anniversary of my little baby [read: blog]. I have no idea where the last three months went, but let’s hope that the next 36 days (EEEEeeeeeEEeeeE) go by just as quickly.
But enough talking. Let’s start celebrating.
Actually, scratch that. There is something that I wanted to talk about today…
While browsing food blogs, have you ever caught yourself trying to guesstimate how many calories were in a specific meal that a blogger was eating? Â This is something that I used to do all. the. time. Someone would post a picture of a delicious looking bowl of oats saying that they used:
½ cup of oats, 1 banana, 1 Tbsp. of PB, etc.
… and I’d be sitting there thinking “Okay, that’s… 150 + ~80 + 90…“. Food was nothing but a number, and the blog world nothing but a playing field for comparison. I would feel safe as long as I was eating less than so-and-so, and guilty when I was eating more.
But how accurate was I in my estimations, really? Probably not very. Heck, I can barely even keep track of how many calories I’m eating myself, much less try to accurately analyze someone else’s eats over a medium as unreliable and limited as the Internet.
Take my breakfast, for instance. Would you be able to guess how many calories were in it?
How about in my pre-workout snack?
Or my post-workout shake?
Would my lunch be any easier?
My guess is… probably not. And if you could, then I’d love for you to share that information with me, because I don’t even really know, myself. In any case, calories aren’t the point of today’s rant, comparison is. Comparison and judgment. It’s far too easy to look at the way a blogger (or anyone)Â eats and pass quick judgments.
Oh, she eats too little.
Oh, she doesn’t eat enough fat.
Oh, why is she eating A and B instead of X and Y?
Why this, why that. Why does it matter? I’m me. You’re you. What I have for breakfast isn’t going to determine how much energy you have throughout the day, and what you have for lunch isn’t going to help me to get through my mid-afternoon slump. More importantly, you will never be able to see the entire picture from the confines of a computer screen, so any judgement and assumption that you make are always going to be based on faulty and limited evidence, leading you to faulty and limited conclusions.
I enjoy looking at what other people eat for inspiration and new ideas, but that’s it. I’ve reached a point where I’m comfortable enough in my own choices to not be influenced by the choices of others, and I no longer feel the need to calculate and compare. When I was fighting with guilt and uncertainty over my own eating habits, then I was constantly nit-picking the eating habits of others, but I’ve come to realize and accept that what other people eat is their own business, because they’re the only ones who get affected. I know what works for me and what I need, and today I really needed one of these bad boys…
[/end rant]
It’s been two days or so since I’ve had a cookie dough ball, which is probably the longest that I’ve gone without them since I started making them. Crazy, considering how addicted I am. But I was hit by a mad craving this afternoon, and it was bye-bye sobriety. Chocolate pudding and a good book (I highly recommend The Shadow of the Wind) were enjoyed on the side.
When dinner time rolled around, I kinda sorta had no idea what I wanted. I say kinda sorta because I wanted something like sweet and savory oats, but I wasn’t feeling the oat part. Solution? Use a similar but different grain…
Those would be spelt flakes, and they’ve been sitting in my pantry for far too long, so I decided that today was as good a day as any to give em a go, and this is what I ended up with…
A sweet and savory spelt bowl! Which is just a fancy way of saying that I replaced the oats with spelt flakes, added a harboiled egg, a banana, some cottage cheese, and a glob of hummus, and called it a meal. An incredibly delicious meal, at that.
And with that comes the end of today’s post and a take-home message: When you compare, judge, and assume, you only make an “ass“ out of “u” and “me“, so don’t do it 😀
. – . – . – .
No questions today, really, but I would love to hear your thoughts on the subject of judgment and comparison. Why do you think people do those kind of things?
No comparisons is right! I never tried to calculate the calories of bloggers meals before. I never really fell to the comparison trap as far as food goes, thank goodness for that. My problem comes as far as exercise go. I get competitive, I’m not gonna lie. But I know I need to do what is best for me, not them. Some people are faster, some people are slower. Some people have more time to devote to exercise. Some people can go further. I have to take care of myself and not worry about what they do! It’s silly and I could wind up injured. Not fun!
Yay! Happy 3 months to you and your amazing blog!! 🙂
I used to do that all the time, the whole guessing calories thing. Actually I still do it, but just for the kick of it I guess because I’ve realized I don’t actually really care. I’ll still eat it if it looks good 😛
Those spelt flakes sound interesting! Do they taste similar to oats?
Erm. No not really. They’re more… wheaty tasting? Lol. And they don’t give out that same goopy gel-like stuff when they cook. Ha! I’m such a winner at describing how food tastes. Bottom line: they’re definitely not oats, but they’re still good in a different way 😀
haha, you’re better at descriptions than you think. I totally get what you’re sayin! 🙂
love this topic! It is such a good message that needs to get out there to people; just be yourself and don’t try to mimic anyone else! You’ll only fail, where as you’ll always win if you be yourself. simple as that. 😀
simple enough: because they’re uncomfortable with who they are.
Samantha
http://flavorator.blogspot.com/
Amen to everything you just wrote here. You seem to bring up a subject that I am contemplating posting about all of the time! Stop reading my mind 🙂 But in all seriousness, I find myself looking at what other bloggers eat and yep I do it, I compare myself and judge what they eat. But judge in the sense that I am concerned…that it could potentially trigger me? I don’t know my exact feelings on this, but I think I am going to post about it in the near future.
I am so motivated by you…that you don’t count calories, don’t compare yourself… truly amazing lady
Completely agree. We are our own person.. and should eat what we want without the fear of being judged.. compared.
The one thing i never did through my eating disorder… was count calories. I may have eaten next to nothing.. or purged everything I ate.. but never counted. I can imagine it must be a terribly hard habit to break!
This is an awesome point when you wrote:
“When I was fighting with guilt and uncertainty over my own eating habits, then I was constantly nit-picking the eating habits of others”
So true!
I once saw a comment on another blog that was like “Why didn’t you use oil in that stir-fry?”
Um….because she didn’t want to? She was out of oil?
Who cares!
i always tabulate calories in my head when looking at my food and others too. i just try and remind myself that we all have different metabolisms and body types and will react differently to calories/working out/etc. it’s hard to adjust my mindset–but i really shouldn’t care!
You put this so perfectly! What I think people sometimes tend to overlook is that we’re all different. Heck, we’re even different from ourselves on a day to day basis! Some people might snack more, with smaller meals…others might prefer large meals and few snacks. I love carbs, and there’s plenty of people who are all for pumping up with protein instead. It’s what works for you, not Joe Schmoe 🙂
Thanks for posting about this! I really have to limit the blogs I read because it only throws my ED-fueled competitive nature into overdrive. I have enough trouble worrying whether I’m eating more than my coworkers, my roommate, or my friends without analyzing what every blogger is consuming.
I must say though, I love reading your blog because I don’t know exactly how much your eating, and you aren’t obsessed with the numbers. (And I hope you don’t take this the wrong way–but you seem to eat a lot and be totally okay with it) So thanks again!
😆 No worries. I get that a lot, and I’m totally okay with it 😀
Love your post! I still compare myself with others sometimes…I’m trying not to. I absolutely hate that I do it and I consciously understand that there is absolutely no point in it either- it’s not going to make me feel any better. I think people judge and compare because they aren’t 100% comfortable with themselves and what they are doing. I totally know what you mean about seeing foods and counting calories too…I have done that before and it’s no fun. Not worth it at all!
Mmm I definitely think that comfort, confidence, and security with oneself play a big factor in the comparison game. I noticed that the more comfortable I became with my own eating habits, the less I became interested in the eating habits of others. And it’s frustrating too because, like you said, even though you KNOW it’s illogical, you can’t help but do it. I think it just takes time.
I use to post pictures of what I would eat and I felt bad when people started to judge me. The main point is…my goals and what I eat and how I workout are for ME to reach MY goals. I share new food ideas or new things I try from time to time but I don’t share my workouts or my foods. What’s good for one person is not good for another.
Hey Hey Hey WIAW Warrior!
I need to jump in again sometime, it is fun to do!! I love Jenn too, she rocks, so that makes it better!
Oh girl, some people just judge, its human nature I suppose, I think all of us have judged before, I really try not to judge a book by its cover, I just say live your life, don’t worry about others judging, its going to happen ; )
Love you!!!!
Thanks for the comment on the train of my dress!!
I absolutely LOVE this post.
There was a time where I would obsess over portion sizes, number of calories in, number of calories burned. I wouldn’t listen to my natural hunger cues and guess what, I was miserable. The second I let go of control and started listening to my body, I felt completely and utterly relieved.
Now, that doesn’t mean that I’m immune to comparisons. Sometimes I’ll look at someone’s blog and think “wow, she only eats that much?! I eat 3x that!” and insecurity can start. But then I remember, like you said, I’m ME! As long as I do what’s right for ME and MY body, it’ll all work out. Have a great night!!
Great great message of this post. I think everyone has judged/been judged in the blog world about what was eaten for the day. I think it’s important to realize that as readers we don’t see the full picture!
We are all so different and all require a different amount of calories and exercise to feel our best. I used to be self conscious about eating every couple of hours and sometimes eating lunch as early as 10, but then it occurred to me. “why does it matter?” If I’m hungry at 10, I’m hungry at 10. Why be miserable until Noon to eat during “proper lunch hour”?
Gah. The countless hours I spent in misery because it wasn’t yet the “proper” time to eat. I’ll never understand why I forced myself to endure that. I mean, I know why, but I’ll never do it again.
I used to do this all. The. Time. And it just got old and tiring. I decided that if I don’t want other people to judge me, then I shouldn’t judge others. Everyone is a completely different person with different needs and we shouldn’t change who we are and what we like to “fit in” or whatever.
So true, and I’ve read some pretty angry comments towards people about how much they’re eating. It’s really not fair for anyone to judge.
Plus, I always think about how we never really know about some bloggers. They may not post everything they eat, they may use plates and bowls that look bigger and smaller than they are, they may, as you said, need different amounts of food for energy.
I hate the comparison game…it makes me kind of curious about the Healthy LIving Summit I’m attending next week. I hope people stay relaxed.
I fell into the “judgment trap” and essentially overanalyzed and questioned your eating habits because, as someone who is having a hard time recovering myself, I wonder how reachable TRUE recovery is when I read people’s blogs who claim they are recovered yet their actions SEEM to show a different, rather sad and hopeless picture.
I didn’t comment or judge in malice, just observed. I do know that regardless, you’re still light years ahead of me in finding balance!
I thank you for your honesty 🙂
I’m not too sure that a concrete definition of TRUE recovery even exists. Eating disorders are such a complex and deep-rooted thing. Physical recovery is easy enough to measure objectively, but mental recovery? A little tough, and I’m assuming that it would be somewhat different for everyone. In any case, actions are only a small part of the equation. What really matters is the intent and motivation behind those actions, which only the person performing them can be 100% sure of, and all other people can do is trust.
Yes, I think not only do many count numbers, but also I have found myself looking at other workouts. How can they do this much and be sane? Do they work full time and still manage to work out that much? I wish I had that much speed or endurance. I think what it comes down to is the fact that everyone has a different story. Some trying to lose, some trying to gain, some training, some just like to workout for fun, etc. If you compare yourself to others you will make yourself crazy in my opinion.
Happy blogging anniversay!!! Im so happy that you back to blogging – i truly love each of your posts because they are always so though provoking and inspiring!!!
Im not sure why we tend to compare ourselves to others – i guess it may be due to lack of self confidence in some cases – but i hate comparing myself to others – especially when it comes to food. We are all unique with different tastes, body types and energy needs – i think as long as we listen to out bodies they won’t steer us wrong!!!
similarly i too like to read blogs to get new food ideas rather than compare what my meals look like as compared to others.
Love your eats for today – the spelt flakes look quite interesting!!
Happy Anniversary!!!!!! :)aimee
I don’t think I use blogs as a comparison- more for inspiration to fill my tum with yummies(especially your blog!). Yesterday you gave me the BIGGEST rice cake craving e v e r. I got some & have been toppiing them with nut butter&jam/ honey or cottage cheese& jam like its ma job- crunchy deliciousnes.
Its Awesome you have become much more comfortable with your own eating habits.
LOVE that spelt bowl, & just how there is like an egg plopped on top. I’m going to be trying that SOON(like my next dinner), again YOU have inspired my meals!
Xxx
I loved this post! I like what you said about food being a number! It totally used to seem that way for me. Now, food is life 🙂 I love how WIAW is NOT about food judgment or comparison! Great eats and happy WIAW.
I think insecurity is the knot that ties the comparison trap. If you doubt yourself, you’re going to look to others to guide you. The problem is that we can’t be anyone but ourselves. We’ll never be good enough if we dub someone else the ultimate human being, or the spitting image of perfection. I eat a lot of calories. Right now, I’m actually making an effort to eat a lot of calories because I want to be able to exercise a lot without wearing myself out. I’m not going to look at someone’s breakfast of dry toast and skim milk and think, “Oh, crap. There are more calories than that in two bites of MY breakfast.” Haha! And who’s to say that person didn’t end up gorging themselves later in the day because their breakfast was so pitiful? They’re not going to post that on their blog. My point is that–like you said–we can’t tell a person’s life by their page on the internet. Therefore, we shouldn’t try to emulate anyone based off a blog. Even if I COULD see every part of a person’s life from their blog, it wouldn’t be reason enough for me to compare myself to them, because we’re all different. We need to honor our own bodies, and not anyone else’s. I love that you wrote this post. I’m me. You’re you. The end. Who you are isn’t going to change who I am. Although…I might have liked to be you while you ate that lunch. Holy colorful deliciousness!
oh God, I used to live for counting calories in other people’s posts. Which is why I just stopped food blogging all together.
I’ll be honest, sometimes I’ll fall into that trap. But you can’t accurately calculate the nutrients in somebody elses meal over a picture. And whos to say they even ate it all? And they might not work out as hard, so maybe they need less?
This was a great post. Thanks for putting things into perspective.
I love how thought provoking your posts are!! People shouldn’t compare what they eat to others. Everyone requires different foods & calories to live!
Oh and happy blogaversary lady!! :))
For the life of me, I cannot understand why anyone feels the need to compare themselves to other bloggers or judge the things they eat. Writing mean comments about someone else’s food choices or lifestyle is in no way productive and I really don’t understand the point. You keep being you, Amanda 🙂
Amanda i love your rants and here’s why. i still think that way sometimes and when you talk about those issues and kind of “mock” them (i mean that in a good way) you actually kind of help me through my recovery process. because you SAYING it. outloud. and me actually having to hear it. (well ok you’re typing and i’m reading) it makes me realize..she’s right. i do that. i shouldnt. so maybe i wont. as i said i’m still in the process of recovery, but it’s nice to know that it is possible to live a life and not have those thoughts anymore.
so preach on sister! or errr something like that. you know what i mean.
lots of love to you. ♥
I second this. Ive been in recovery for over a year, and although I dont always act upon my disordered thoughts, I do still unfortunately think this way (far too often than id like). If it werent for your posts about these issues, Id most likely go upon my day thinking that this way of comparing myself to others is ok…and it TOTALLY ISNT! Thank you so much for bringing these issues to the surface Amanda.
Calories don’t make a person. I probably eat more than most bloggers, but I’m a guy with a fast metabolism 🙂 I think people just need to eat what THEY need.
TOO RIGHT!!! I used to do that with EVERY single blog post, but I’ve realised that we’re all different, and that is AWESOME!! I sometimes get comments about what I eat, but it works me and I love it!! 😀
Oh, and Shadow of the Wind is an AMAZING book!! You have great taste in EVERYTHING: books, muffins, breakfast toppings…. 😉
I love the book The Shadow of the Wind! Enjoy!
What an interesting dinner! I’m not really one to mix the sweet and savory too much. I have fallen into the trap where I try to estimate how many calories a certain dish has but it’s just too difficult! lol I just make whatever I want and that’s the end of it 😉
I think we’ve all fallen into comparison traps. Like ‘oh, she only eats sandwich thins- should I not be eating my bread?’, or ‘she has protein shakes every day, does that mean I need them?’. Things of such nature. When I first started my blog and was still finding my little ‘niche’, I always felt… weird. You know- wanting oats twice a day. And everything being sweet. Yeah.
But now I just post what I post and if people like it, hooray! I love making people happy. If they don’t, then boo for them. They can go on and read something that appeals to them! I eat what makes me happy and write what makes me happy, and people will do what they will with it.
I’ve found myself thinking many bloggers eat too little and the like, but I stop myself and think ‘well I’m in no place to judge because I’ve NO idea what they do and do not photograph and what their life is like.’. I surely wouldn’t want someone to judge me based on the things I photograph. There’s bunches that go on behind the scenes. Especially with things like oats and all! It’s nearly impossible to guess the numbers on something. My bowls may be small, but my numbers are surely high enough, and them some. HAHA!
They must just be jealous of your radiant confidence.
Love you, girlie. <3
P.S. HAPPY BLOGGY BIRTHDAY! <3
Quick, go get a chai tea latte to celebrate! And a cupcake!
Well said! It can be really frustrating when people go hog wild with assumptions, there’s so much more to life. I mean why waste precious time fretting over someone else’s calories? Beat’s me.
Your eats are nomtastic!! I’ve never heard of spelt flakes before, but they look extremely good 😀
i agree! what do the spelt flakes taste like? do they taste like oats?
Not really, no. They have a wheatier taste, whereas oats seem to almost be… sweeter? They’re also a bit tougher than oats, and don’t get all goopy and gel-like when they cook. Still good, but definitely not an oat replacement.
I feel ya, i used to be the same way- and used to pass a lot of judgements in my head- mostly along the lines of “They eat too little! They don’t eat any carbs!” etc…it’s exhausting and useless comparing since we’re ALL DIFFERENT with different needs and circumstances after all.
And wow the caloric math used to be a crazy automatic mental equation…for what I was eating or a friend was eating, etc…totally useless way to spend mental energy- if I find myself tempted to start adding up I divert my thoughts, I don’t need to know anymore and with times it’s stopped mattering. I also prefer to buy foods that don’t have caloric information on the packages because I don’t want that to a play a role in my decision of if i should eat it and how much of it I should eat 🙂
It’s a vicious cycle… trying hard not to compare so much.
I sort of read an article today that talked about “counting” in general (http://www.realsimple.com/work-life/life-strategies/inspiration-motivation/counting-00100000062753/index.html). It really hit me on the noggin today. It doesn’t really matter. Numbers don’t mean a gosh darn thing. They don’t make me happy in fact they’ve ALWAYS made me miserable. I’m working on trying to stop with the numbers and stop comparing. It’s difficult but I know it will make me happier!
That was definitely a good read. Thanks for sharing, girl 😀
ugh you are amazing. seriously.. i HATE When ppl do that to me on my blog.. and im sre a LOT of ppl do it… also when i post pics of myself theyre probs comparing themselves to my body and all of that.. i honestly cnt control it tho so if they need to/want to then they can, but im secure enough and i love my life that i dnt need to worry about others!
Amen sista! I totally agree with everything you said, pictures may be worth a thousand words, but they aren’t worth all knowledge!
I love spelt flakes! Your dinner looks interestingly delicious 🙂