Hi friends! 😀
I hope that you’re having an awesome day because it is an awesome day. Not only is it the tastiest day of the week, thanks to the beautiful Jenn over at Peas and Crayons, but today also marks the three month anniversary of my little baby [read: blog]. I have no idea where the last three months went, but let’s hope that the next 36 days (EEEEeeeeeEEeeeE) go by just as quickly.
But enough talking. Let’s start celebrating.
Actually, scratch that. There is something that I wanted to talk about today…
While browsing food blogs, have you ever caught yourself trying to guesstimate how many calories were in a specific meal that a blogger was eating? This is something that I used to do all. the. time. Someone would post a picture of a delicious looking bowl of oats saying that they used:
½ cup of oats, 1 banana, 1 Tbsp. of PB, etc.
… and I’d be sitting there thinking “Okay, that’s… 150 + ~80 + 90…“. Food was nothing but a number, and the blog world nothing but a playing field for comparison. I would feel safe as long as I was eating less than so-and-so, and guilty when I was eating more.
But how accurate was I in my estimations, really? Probably not very. Heck, I can barely even keep track of how many calories I’m eating myself, much less try to accurately analyze someone else’s eats over a medium as unreliable and limited as the Internet.
Take my breakfast, for instance. Would you be able to guess how many calories were in it?
How about in my pre-workout snack?
Or my post-workout shake?
Would my lunch be any easier?
My guess is… probably not. And if you could, then I’d love for you to share that information with me, because I don’t even really know, myself. In any case, calories aren’t the point of today’s rant, comparison is. Comparison and judgment. It’s far too easy to look at the way a blogger (or anyone) eats and pass quick judgments.
Oh, she eats too little.
Oh, she doesn’t eat enough fat.
Oh, why is she eating A and B instead of X and Y?
Why this, why that. Why does it matter? I’m me. You’re you. What I have for breakfast isn’t going to determine how much energy you have throughout the day, and what you have for lunch isn’t going to help me to get through my mid-afternoon slump. More importantly, you will never be able to see the entire picture from the confines of a computer screen, so any judgement and assumption that you make are always going to be based on faulty and limited evidence, leading you to faulty and limited conclusions.
I enjoy looking at what other people eat for inspiration and new ideas, but that’s it. I’ve reached a point where I’m comfortable enough in my own choices to not be influenced by the choices of others, and I no longer feel the need to calculate and compare. When I was fighting with guilt and uncertainty over my own eating habits, then I was constantly nit-picking the eating habits of others, but I’ve come to realize and accept that what other people eat is their own business, because they’re the only ones who get affected. I know what works for me and what I need, and today I really needed one of these bad boys…
[/end rant]
It’s been two days or so since I’ve had a cookie dough ball, which is probably the longest that I’ve gone without them since I started making them. Crazy, considering how addicted I am. But I was hit by a mad craving this afternoon, and it was bye-bye sobriety. Chocolate pudding and a good book (I highly recommend The Shadow of the Wind) were enjoyed on the side.
When dinner time rolled around, I kinda sorta had no idea what I wanted. I say kinda sorta because I wanted something like sweet and savory oats, but I wasn’t feeling the oat part. Solution? Use a similar but different grain…
Those would be spelt flakes, and they’ve been sitting in my pantry for far too long, so I decided that today was as good a day as any to give em a go, and this is what I ended up with…
A sweet and savory spelt bowl! Which is just a fancy way of saying that I replaced the oats with spelt flakes, added a harboiled egg, a banana, some cottage cheese, and a glob of hummus, and called it a meal. An incredibly delicious meal, at that.
And with that comes the end of today’s post and a take-home message: When you compare, judge, and assume, you only make an “ass“ out of “u” and “me“, so don’t do it 😀
. – . – . – .
No questions today, really, but I would love to hear your thoughts on the subject of judgment and comparison. Why do you think people do those kind of things?
I swear you just completely read my mind, everything you said was exactly what I was thinking at that moment as I blog-surfed. I think it’s probably because we females are always comparing ourselves to others, like OMG she’s skinnier than I am, OMG she’s prettier than I am, whatever. I do it all the time. I’m not sure why, maybe it’s just intraspecies competition, to put it scientifically lol. If you see someone who looks healthier, skinnier, prettier, etc. than you, you’re gonna want to do what they do in the hopes that it’ll make you healthier, skinnier, prettier, etc. when really that’s not the case. You know what they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, I guess
Ugh. I’m a little ashamed to admit that I sometimes still do that, just to see if I should eat less/more than I do. Even though I am aware of the fact that everyone’s different and everybody’s body needs a certain amount of energy (and calories) to fuel, depending on what they do throughout the day.
On the brighter side, banana, eggs and hummus? Such a strange combo, I DEFINITELY have to try that!
The last line of this post was simply perfect. (;
Its one of the main reasons I started WIAW… for inspiration and celebration and to SQUASH comparison and judgement. I’m hoping it desensitizes people to judging others eats a little and also gives everyone great ideas on how to mix up their fav foods and such when they get bored! or to find new ways of getting protein… or calcium.. or whatever really!
but the judgement can suck it. i get so mad b/c bloggers are super sweet but ppl in real life are SO JUDGEY of me. i hate it!
end of my rant 😉
I think when I was deep in the ed i did compare myself to others what thye were eating making sure i ate less. but now this doesn’t bother me, we all need different amounts and calories are a waste of time. i eat what i need to stay healthy and what i enjoy eating.
I love this post. It’s SO hard not to fall into the comparison trap when it comes to the amount of food other bloggers eat in a day. It’s so hard not to compare but we all have different nutritional and dietary needs. I say eat when you’re hungry and as long as it’s healthy, calories shouldn’t be a huge factor!
Alot of times it is insecurities. I mean I know I compare myself to everyone because of my insecurities. I really try not to judge people, so that one I cant really say. Either way, I think it is important to just try and remember that we are all so different, and neither judgement nor comparing ourselves to eachother will ever be really beneficial. Getting to know someone and looking at their HEART should be what matters most!
Happy blog anniversary!! This is too true. Before I made my own bloggy I used to do it all the time. More so with recipes than with just pictures, but still. Sometimes looking at what other bloggers were eating and comparing it to my meals though helped me. I saw that I was restricting myself way too much and eating way too little. With that said I don’t think any other comparing would be good. Counting especially was the most horrible thing for me, or having an exact set meal time. It’s so hard to let go of old habits. I’m still working on it and there are times when I’m totally insecure in my own decisions, but I’m doing my best to go in the right direction :]
Great post Amanda! I actually used to do the same exact thing…
I’d compare what i was eating to what someone else is eating..which isn’t a good thing to do. we all have different bodies. im a teenager, and i need to realize that maybe since i play sports and am still growing i should be eating a little bit more than a grown adult. or the same amount as a marathon runner? ahh im doing it again. i have to see that i should eat my amount and not anyone elses. im totally confusing myself now. 😛
Ah, this post is so great! I think by simply having foods blogs, we put ourselves out there for judgments. But, everyone is different and everyone has a different goal. For example, I lost a significant amount of weight so I eat to maintain that weight loss. Whereas others may be overcoming an ED and thus they eat to gain weight/maintain weight gain. Basically, we are all different and we all eat differently for various reasons. You laid it out so perfectly! 🙂
Who cares how many calories?? It tasted good, right!?? (Sure looks like it does!!) I used to look at people’s eats and add up the calories but those days are gone. Comparing doesn’t do any good, not for me anyway. I often get “you have such dainty meals” or “I feel like a monster compared to you” comments … I don’t post all my food. Meals, daily intakes etc can look very skewed on blogs because you don’t know whether people are being truthful when they say: “plus 4 snacks and second helpings” etc.
In an ideal world we wouldn’t waste so much time comparing and contrasting each others habits all the time. However, to an extent, I think comparing yourself to another is almost second nature. It’s how we make friends – by finding common ground. I guess in the blog world we still do it but it’s virtual and we take what we see at face value.
Still, the destructive comments from other bloggers about eating or exercise habits is so not necessary. Even if you are thinking it, I don’t think people need to force their insecurity on others or try and knock them down. It’s about the individual and what their body needs. If you haven’t got something nice to say, don’t say it.
Anyway, great post, great eats and happy blogiversary! 🙂
i can’t say i’ve never tried to estimate someone else’s calories, but i haven’t done it for a while, that’s for sure. it’s sad that so many people over analyze and compare so much. it’s truly unnecessary and, like you said, detrimental to our mental health. EVERYONE is different. Throughout my recovery, I’m trying hard to not even analyze the way I eat. Like you say, we have to listen to our bodies. Good post! (and appropriate timing, I might add, too! =P )
xx alexandra
Great post! I think comparisons will always be made no matter what. People need to realise that individuality is a beautiful thing.
Unfortunately, I do the calories count for my own food ALL. THE. TIME. I did it last night actually when I made my pancakes. It’s so disheartening and time consuming. Whenever I see anything… Any meal, dessert, bowl of oatmeal, soup, etc. I try to guest-imate what calories are in it. It’s probably one of the hardest things to overcome. Sometimes I feel like it’s just never going to go away.
With that said, I found your blog a while ago and read through your old one. (Your story). And I was amazed at how much my thoughts matched yours. Your actions/thoughts/recovery. I’m glad I just re-found your blog because it’s an inspiration.
Have a good day 🙂
Sometimes it’s so easy to compare and judge because people put their lives out there for everyone to compare and judge! I think we have to remember that bloggers are people with insecurities and shortcomings, just like everybody else. It’s so easy to forget that.
I’m so glad that food isn’t just a number to you anymore Amanda! It looks like you are doing a fabulous job eating amazing concoctions that are worthy of more than just calorie counts.
SO SO SO TRUE! The blog world can be very judgmental, yet sometimes eye opening. You hit the nail on the head with this one. I receive alot of emails regarding how many calories I take in a day, how much a burn off at the gym etc etc etc. I get tired just thinking about it because it is something that I used to obsess about. Luckily I have overcome it and if i can help someone who may be on that path, then I jump at the opportunity.
GAH! That breakfast! And that lunch! And that snack! Seriously. I want to re-do yesterday and have your day instead!
Wow. wow. Amanda you are so talented! Ugh. I want your writing skills!
I used to compare, not on the blog world, but at meals. I would look at everyone else’s plate and make sure I had less or something healthier. I haven’t compared in the blog world as much, but sometimes I catch myself judging people other people or feeling bad because I had a crazy amount of sugar in one day. 😛 But I am learning to do exactly as you said: accept what I eat because it only affects me and what they eat is for them. Eating is an individual business 🙂
When I first started reading blogs about 1.5 years ago I did the same thing with guessing the calories in other blogger’s meals! But I actually did it because I was trying to get an idea of what a health meal should be. Before that I had been surviving on measly ~250 calorie breakfasts. But when I guessed the calorie count of breakfasts I saw on blogs and realized they were eating 400-500 calories, that helped me realize that I was NOT eating enough. So in that case comparing myself to others was actually a GOOD thing for me. 😀
Your spelt bowl looks delicious! Spelt flakes rock, don’t they? Have you tried barley flakes? I love them! They’re chewy and toothsome and don’t get mushy when you cook them. They’re also great for making granola. Happy grain eating! 😉
I’ve never tried barley flakes, but I’d definitely give them a go if I ever came across them in the store. I’ve tried kamut flakes, though, and while they’re good, the wheaty flavor is a bit too… strong… for my liking. Maybe granola or bars would be a good way to use it up…
granola bars would be an awesome way to use up kamut. here’s an awesome recipe — it features two of your favourites 🙂 bananas and nut butter!
http://sogoodandtasty.blogspot.com/2011/07/granola-bars.html
Hello Amanda,
I’ve been away from the internet for a while. I see that you keep cooking and eating some yummy food. Geez, those pictures make me drool when I try to imagine how good it tastes, serioulsy.
I keep on my journey to overcome my eating disorder, and it’s been one heel of a ride… But i’ll be okay, i guess. I’m trying my best. And my BMI is healthy finally =)
Omg, I’ve read that book already. I totally LOVED it. I couldn’t stop reading it! I’ve read all the other books from the author that are translated to portuguese, and let me tell you, you have to read Marina as well. It’s awsome. Carlos Ruíz Zafon is great.
Ttyl,
stay well =)
*
Congratulations on getting healthy, Susana! That’s so awesome and I hope that you’re super proud of yourself 😀 I’ll definitely have to look into more books by Zafon. He really is an amazing writer…
First of all, you’ve only been blogging for 3 months!? I can’t believe it– you’re so awesome at blogging I could’ve sworn you’ve been at it for much longer than that!
Anyway, this is an awesome topic– We are sadly part of a society that is based largely on judgments and presuppositions. Originally when I was very overweight and I began reading food blogs, calorie counting was definitely something I took part in. Over time it sort of transformed into a meal idea kind of thing, and now calories don’t even cross my mind. Everyone has a different body, different activity level, different food-intake, and who am I to say whats right or wrong? All I can do is say whats right for me. 🙂
Again, thank you for posting about this!
I hate the fact that people compare themselves to one another, no two people are the saame, even if you are a twin, you are going to have things you like and dislike, where as your twin may not feel the same. I think there was a time where i felt the same when blogging i would compare myself to other bloggers and felt a sense of happiness if i thought i was eating less than them, but i mean that is just craaaazzzzy.
I hope you have a wonderful day xxx
Ah girl, you totally took the words right from my mouth. I am so fed up of people comparing each other..I mean, I admit, there was a time when I caught up in that trap with my ED. I’d think ‘omg I ate more than them and they did x amount of exercise whilst I did none’ and it would be in my head ALL day. Now I’m in a healthy enough place to realise that we are all SO different – with different bodies, different metabolisms, allergies and we just can’t compare. What’s more is that we don’t see everything behind the blog. I definitely don’t post everything I eat so that people don’t compare..but then people pick up on little bits that they think I shouldn’t be eating to recover which is so frustrating when it’s kinda obvious that I’m eating enough as I’m gaining! They don’t see the amount of peanut butter and baked goods I eat in just one day!
Now I’ve figured that because I was once in that position, people who compare negatively have their own problems and don’t feel comfortable with themselves and what they eat so pick up on other people’s diets. Although sometimes I do read blogs and worry about how little they are eating whilst exercising, I just do my best to give a little advice but it doesn’t affect the amount I eat and it doesn’t bother me in the slightest because I’m happy with me and the way I live! 🙂
Happy Blog Anniversary sweetie! Im so grateful for you and your blog- you are such an amazing person!
Oh yea, I compare! But for me, its been mostly positive! I havent counted cals in years. But I do compare the amont and what kind of food that other bloggers eats. But its been good, becaue it makes me realize that I eat to little, and that girls do eat!
I hope no one compare themselfs to my eating though :S
<3
I love your ‘rant’ and agree with everything you say, I hate comparison in all forms. We are all individuals for goodness sake, we all have different bodies that need different things as well as just having our own preferences! So glad you highlighted this 🙂 I just love blogs for the amazing inspiration!
I actually cant tell you how much I love your posts. ‘I enjoy looking at what other people eat for inspiration and new ideas, but that’s it.’–> I couldn’t have phrased it better myself. No one knows the nitty gritty details and we all have different metabolisms. I’ve seen some bloggers who look around my weight eat so much more than me yet others who eat less than me. The main goal should be to happy with our choices, after all we are (or at least should be) our own benchmark!
I’m so glad for for your rant, that you stood up for yourself in response to what seems like ridiculous feedback.
It comes down to insecurity and validation. People make the comparisons, feel uncomfortable about something as a result, so in order to validate themselves and what they do, they attack bloggers about what they do.
The thing is… who is making them read the particular blog in the first place?? Why follow someone if you have a negative opinion on their lifestyle – just don’t read the blog anymore if you don’t agree! Why the need to voice your negative views?
I admit while I don’t count calories, I sometimes compare food group serves/exchanges, as in ‘ah, okay, so there was one protein, one carb, one dairy in this meal, one fat, one protein in this snack’ etc, and *cringe* sometimes imagine the total, as I am learning about minimum daily intakes for each food group. But honestly on my behalf it’s not done in a judgemental way, at all. It’s much more general inspiration about how people eat – lots, little, whatever.
I don’t understand why people continue to read and criticize blogs that they don’t agree with, either. But I completely agree with you about the insecurity and validation bit. That’s pretty much exactly why I used to engage in so much comparison – because I wasn’t confident in my own choices and needed external validation for my beliefs.
Ohh spelt flakes aey? very interesting. Looks so similar to oats.
I will admit sometimes I look at some posts and think, wow, thats alot of food! Perhaps I’m not eating enough.
But I then I realise most of the people posting these are athletes or are really into weight lifting which means they usually have the apetite of a monster! (not saying that in a bad way!)
I have been really good at not comparing anymore and realising every one is different, and some days you are hungrier than others.
comparison is really silly because everyone is different and has different needs. What works for one person doesn’t mean it will work for you. Calories can make you go crazy a bit… BUT if you are training for a fitness competition then you need to track not just your calories but your macro nutrients too… i.e carbs and proteins and fats. Maybe not all fitness competitors do – they might just know exactly what works for them after many years of experience.
I used to suffer from ortherexia… which is a healthy eating obsession and one of the main things with that was feeling ‘ holier then thou’ because of how clean my food was. I have all the answers… my food is 100% healthy… etc. THANK goodness I now have perspective! I got a grip and know that balance and moderation are key. I dont care what people eat and I certainly am a whole lot less calmer with myself about what I eat. However I do rigorous training- always have- so I like to keep track of my macro nutrients to make sure I am feeding my body properly. I don’t track every single meal because it gets pedantic and time consuming and I am not competing… but just to get an overall idea.
food + guilt= not good.
comparing yourself to others= dangerous territory!!
Happy day 🙂
Insecurity makes people do stupid things. Comparing is one of them because we all have our personal needs and if someone is OK with having a cup of coffee for breakfast or just a salad for lunch, it doesn’t mean that our own bodies will agree. I eat huge amounts of food and it has always made me feel guilty but maybe that’s just what I need and I shouldn’t fight it.
When I look for recipes on food blogs I still automatically reject some because my “calorie alarm” goes off but I am much less likely to try to mimic other people’s behavior regarding portion size and “value”.
Well, people compare themselves to others, because it lies deep in their natur to do this. It can be helpful sometimes, but when it comes to things like (disordered) eating, it can be really harmful. I don´t do the counting-calories-thing, because I really don´t know how many calories are in oats or apple or anything. Eating should be fun and even though I love maths, I better leave counting outside the kitchen 🙂
Hehe you rock!!
I so used to do this. In fact, I shamefully still do from time to time when I’m having an off day. Not that I ever counted calories myself nor am I ever planning to. Even though I know that calories are bull crap, I can’t help but be swayed by them sometimes. This is why I prefer not to know the calorie content of my food. I especially hate buying things in packets for this reason.
Why do they do it? Because they want to feel better than the person who’s blog they’re reading. “Oh, I can eat better/less then them so I’m waaaaay more superior to you.” And all that jazz. I used to think I was the bees knees when I could eat less and more cleanly than everyone else around me. Now when I think about what I used to think like it makes me shudder. Eating disorders make us EVIL!!!!!!!!!
xxx
Loved this post.
“When you compare, judge, and assume, you only make an “ass“ out of “u” and “me“, so don’t do it :D”
Can I just say… Best quote ever?!
It’s so true though, when I read food blogs, I always find myself comparing my intake to theirs, and planning what I can do to make mine more like theirs. Crazy much? I’m so grateful for this post and I agree, we all need different amounts of food to function at OUR own best. Food blogs can be great for finding inspiring new recipes or foods, but should not influence how much or little you eat. Only you, by listening to your hunger and cravings, are the best judge for what and how much you eat. End of story.
Happy 3 Month Anniversary!
This post speaks 100% truth, counting calories/comparing/competing is a waste of time, and not fun at all. I hate having numbers fly through my head, I want food to be nutrition & nourishment for my body, NOT a number.
“What I have for breakfast isn’t going to determine how much energy you have throughout the day, and what you have for lunch isn’t going to help me to get through my mid-afternoon slump. ” LOVE THIS!!!! SO TRUE GIRL!!
And I bassically love everything you said in this post!!
I give you props for eating eggs, banana, and humus together! That combo is just a little to adventurous for me 🙂
Hehe I actually thought it was a bit tame. Odd for sure, but everything seemed to go together 🙂
Oooh, I hate it when people are comparing themselves…I used to do this, like ”Aaaah, I’m eating more than her…”. Mmmh, ok, so what? That doesn’t make me a bad person. It’s a FACT. After a while, I just got used to it, because I’m eating more than most people I know.
*When we go to Subway, everyone gets a 6inch…I don’t know how they do that. I always get a footlong!