I promised myself that I wasn’t going to go all saptastic on you guys, but dangit… there’s just no way I’d be able to start on today’s post without thanking you for all of the e-mails and comments you left on my last one. Not gonna lie – it’s never easy to make yourself vulnerable by opening up that way. I mean, who really wants to admit that they’re not exactly where they thought they’d be at any given point in life? But, as always, the outpouring of support was incredible. Seriously. If you’re struggling with feelings of drifting along with no purpose, go read over some of the comments that other people left – you may just find comfort in the fact that you’re definitely not alone.
And I know I said I didn’t really have any advice to give on the whole limbo situation, but there is one small thing I’d like to recommend you do…
[Source]
Don’t spend time looking back at all the time you think you wasted, because doing so is only wasting more time. As cliche as it sounds, you really can’t move forward if you’re constantly looking back. You may not be exactly where you want to be right now, but that doesn’t mean that you’ll never get there. The beautiful thing about life is that, as long as you’re alive, nothing is set in stone. It’s never too late to make some changes and start on something new.
And stop comparing yourself to others!
We’re all on a different journey, and I know for a fact that I’m generally content with where I’m at until I start comparing myself to other people. Oh, she’s happily married; she’s expecting a baby; she’s got tonnes of friends; she’s starting an exciting new career; and I’m… well… here. Yes, here. And, honestly, here isn’t all that bad of a bad place to be – I have more than enough to be thankful for and plenty to look forward to. Everybody does. Life can change in the blink of an eye without us even planning it, so really, there’s nothing to get upset about. And I promise to keep reminding myself of that if you do too.
And another thing I want to remind you guys of is to cut comparison out of other aspects of your life as well. As you probably know, today is What I Ate Wednesday…
… and as much as I love sharing my eats and getting inspired by the eats of others, I’m also well aware of the fact that it opens the door for some nasty comparison.
I’m sure we’ve all done it before – compared our meals to somebody else’s. We see someone with a body that we admire or hear about a diet plan that promises all sorts of benefits and instantly feel like we should be following suit.
Oh, she’s not eating carbs after breakfast… I shouldn’t do that either.
Oh, she’s cutting back on sugar… I should cut back too.
Oh, she lost a lot of weight going Paleo… I should try that as well.
Sound familiar? No shame, I’m guilty of it myself. And while I’m all for experimenting with your diet and trying out new things, I can’t stress enough how important it is to be able to admit to yourself when those things aren’t working for you. Too often we get sucked into believing that what we’re doing is good for us, when the opposite is in fact true. I’ve fallen victim to countless “bad ideas,” only to rationalize them by telling myself that it worked for so-and-so, so it must be good! But now, after a good deal of trial and error, I think I’ve finally found a way of eating that works for me.
It’s alternating between cereal and oatmeal for breakfast…
Eggy bananafied oats topped with plain Greek yogurt, honey, and almond butter.
It’s eating my body weight in fruit…
Fresh cherries and blueberries (finally!!!!).
It’s satisfying those cookie cravings…
Freshly baked chocolate chip oatmeal cookies.
It’s enjoying my daily coffee…
Dry cappuccino from Starbucks.
It’s snacking on healthier versions of childhood favorites…
Ketchup flavored Popchips.
It’s having breakfast for dinner at least twice a week…
Cereal soup… Plain Greek yogurt mixed with a banana, homemade applesauce, and Kashi Cinnamon Harvest, and then topped with almond butter and almond milk.
It’s making sure to end each day on a good [read: sweet] note…
Vanilla ice cream and a couple of mock Oreos.
It’s all about me, and doing what works… even if that means my eats sometimes resemble those of a 5 year-old.
Happy Wednesday, friends!
. – . – . – .
Do you ever struggle with comparing your eats to the eats of others?
What’s one thing you know works for you?
What’s your favorite flavor of chip?
I’m so easily influenced by others that It’s embarrassing! I guess It’s due to the fact that I’m still trying o learn who I am, and I guess that following others helps me feel connected, which is an attractive thing in my little world.
I want to write so much more, but I’m on my mobile and its kind of impossible! Xx
you know I 100% agree with you. I can’t say it enough – diet is PERSONAL! There’s no one size fits all.
What workes for me? Lots of protein and even more variety. A willingness to try anything. 😉
First time commenter 🙂 I enjoy your blog a lot, but today those first couple paragraphs REALLY are fantastic! Like, I might print out this post to read daily as a reminder. I tend to compare myself to my former self (before babies and a few health issues.). Of course, I’m also guilty of occasionally trying to “keep up with the Jones’s” so this was such a great post to make us think.
Thank you for your beautiful pictures and words!
And thank you for taking the time to say hi, Mo! 😀
You’re always so spot on!!! Being happy with where you are, who you are, etc is so important and so often, people lose sight of this as they’re too busy focusing on envying others.
It took me SO long to find out what works for me but now that I have, I’m so happy and I feel good every damn day (for the most part) but the biggest pat of that was letting go of what others were doing and what other would think of me. So glad I did, but now i look at what others are eating for inspiration to try NEW things. Things that I would not have tried in the past what I would keep so many foods “off limits.”
With that… I could easily gobble up that cereal concoction of yours! so yummy!!
Oh gosh do i compare myself to others! I hate it! How they look, what they eat, how they exercise… I need to worry about me and only me. I even compare myself to people I dont know. A magazine article says do this or dont do that! Blah! I have found out that smaller meals and lots of snacks work for me. And even though some say you shouldnt ear before bed. It works for me. Otherwise I wake up feeling sickly hungry. Thanks for this post 🙂
I’m definitely with you on smaller meals and lots of snacks! And girl, I have no idea how people get to sleep without eating before bed. I always snack before I go to sleep, otherwise I’m waking up hungry in the middle of the night.
This is AMAZING. I think that blogging makes it extremely difficult to avoid comparing ourselves to others which is why I typically avoid WIAW posts. I don’t want to see someone super skinny posting about how they ate more than I would eat in 5 days last Wednesday or someone who isn’t eating enough posting that they ate rice cakes and apples all day. IDK – just doesn’t do it for me. I like to get ideas of what I could be doing differently from others (including other bloggers!) but I have finally gotten to the point, I think… of not totally comparing myself to their every move 🙂
The comparison thing is sooo not good, and I’m definitely guilty of doing that too. When I was in HS, I was so insecure and would compare myself to the other girls pretty frequently…I wasn’t pretty enough, I wasn’t skinny enough, I had acne and the other girls didn’t, I wore glasses, I was athletic enough…I’m sure you get the picture. But, I had have to say that as I’ve gotten older and matured, I feel more comfortable in my own skin and though, I will admit, I still do compare sometimes, it definitely is NOT as frequently as I used too. I’ve learned to be happy with who I am and thankful for what I’ve got.
On a lighter note…my favorite chip flavor? I would have to say are any kind of sweet potato chip and I like sour cream and onion flavor too!
Ugh, the comparison trap…it gets me more often than I would like to admit. And usually results in me doing something that my body hates (high-protein and low-carb, I’m looking at you) and leaves me all sorts of miserable. Frankly, that style of eating will never work for me, and I’m learning to accept that. And also, I can’t do the ‘dessert-once-a-week’ thing. I’m rather fond of a bit of nightly sugar. While I love WIAW, sometimes posts make me shake my head and be grateful that I’m no longer in the position to be affected by their restrictive nature.
Of course, it drifts over into other areas of my life too. I’m 23, so I’m just starting to really hit the age when friends are getting engaged, getting married and getting pregnant. It’s a little hard sometimes, because it makes me feel like I should be right there with them even though I know none of those things are in the cards for me at this exact moment. All I can do is remember that I’m on my own path in life and don’t need to be replicating what the other people in my life are doing.
If it makes you feel any better, I’m not getting engaged, married, or pregnant either 😛 But I definitely know what you mean… It’s crazy to think that a lot of the people I grew up with moved on to a new stage of their life while I’m still trying to figure things out, but hey… we’re all on a different journey, and as long as we’re happy with our choices (when we remove the comparison), then I figure that’s perfectly alright.
Thank you for sharing this! I love reading blogs, but sometimes I compare myself to other bloggers the way you said you do. I see them eating a handful of chocolate chips, and say oh, I didn’t know that was okay to do, but since they did it I can do it! But for me, it doesn’t work like that. I need portion control or I will eat the whole bag. I know there’s nothing wrong with a handful of chocolate chips, but that’s just what works for me and what doesn’t.
The comparison thing is always disastrous. Even just with yourself I will compare how I am now to how I was before my allergies and health issues. Talk about depressing. I used to eat toast and peanut butter for breakfast, fro yo for snacks, etc. etc. I just want to go back to how things were before. But that’s never going to happen. I just need to look forward! 🙂
Favorite flavor of chip? Depends 😉 Sour cream and onion all around though!
Oh, yay! You found the ketchup Pop Chips!! How are they?!? I SO wish that I could try them :(.
They’re amazing! They honestly taste like ketchup with fries.
I am so jealous!!! 🙁 haha
I haven’t eaten “potato chips” or fast food since I gave them up for Lent in MIDDLE SCHOOL, but I do eat pop chips and things of the sort. And you just had to put in the ketchup-flavored chips lol! One of my favorite things as a kid was ketchup on pizza and chips. I’m definitely jealous but you have a right to rub it in 😉 Personally, my diet is pretty similar to yours in the fact I love yogurt bowls/oatmeal/oodles and oodles of fresh fruit. I just need to start throwing in some more chocolate and sugar because I deemed myself not good enough to eat them anymore because of everything going on with my knee. Oof. I don’t know if I compare specific DIETS to what I eat, but I definitely will see someone only ate “half” of Chipotle salad and get some weird thoughts because I down the entire thing in a heartbeat. Haha!
Heehee! I used to put ketchup on my chips as well, but at least now I don’t have to 😛 And don’t make me come over there with a huge bag of jelly beans for a little girl talk… because you better believe that I totally would.
speaking of jelly beans, they have these little bag of Jelly Belly beans here in Cocktail Mix flavor & I love to gift them with a bottle of “skinny girl” margaritas for birthdays! its like a weird, fun mix of opposites: sugar & candy, booze & skinny- makes me laugh every time. (oh and every time I buy them for a gift- guess who gets their own bag??!!) do they have Jelly Bellies in Canada?
They do! I’m not sure if I’ve ever come across the Cocktail Mix flavors though… But I’m going to keep my eyes open because it definitely sounds like a fun gift!
I could go for a night of jelly bellies and ice cream for girl talk. Throw in some good movies and we’re all set! Lol. I can’t find the recipe for your chocolate chip cookies ANYWHERE. I thought you posted it a few months ago, but I could be imagining things!
You’re not imagining things! I posted a link to the recipe I used from Skinny Taste, but I’ve modified the recipe so much over all the times I’ve made them that I’ll probably end up posting my version soon.
One of my favorite quotes from Theodore Roosevelt: “Comparison is the thief of joy”. It couldn’t be more true. We can only look inside of ourselves for true happiness. I also like to think that I have pretty strong morals when it comes to eating so I don’t abide to any kind of diet or eat a certain way because of what someone else does. I just try to nourish my body with healthy food and enjoy as much as I can in moderation. I do love getting new ideas for tasty creations from other though. Like your oatmeal, holy yum!
Yummmmm… everything looks amazing, and I’d love for you to make me breakfast one day lol, your breakfasts always look so good.
I think I struggle with comparing everything about myself to other people – not just food but fashion, comments, etc. It sucks. :p
I am proud to say that when it comes to eats I have a healthy relationship when it comes to comparing, however it wasn’t always that way. When I first started blogging I didn’t eat the same foods as others, but I did try to eat more after seeing how much other people ate (yeah..I ate MORE than I should have haha.) After about a week I figured out that wasn’t going to work for me and am happily unique in my eating ways! I eat way too much sugar and I LOVE IT! HA I love this post and I LOVEeeEE you.
Not gonna lie..those Popchips scare me…I’ll take your word for it that they are good. I love my some jalopeno chips!
!! Scare you?! But they seriously taste just like ketchup with fries!
Yet another post of yours that sums up what’s been on my mind, too. Comparison has been a problem for me ever since I was little – in all parts of life, not just food. There were always children who were better at sports or maths than me, weighed less, looked prettier, were more outgoing. It weighed heavily on my mind and might be one of the reasons I developped an ED but I don’t want to blame anybody here. What I know is that comparison has yet to lead to anything but frustration and that’s one more reason to give up on it as much as possible.
One thing I’ve found to work for me is realizing I’m too different from others to live their exact lifes. No, I might not run marathons, lift weights but that doesn’t mean I’m doing things wrong. I can enjoy running at my own speed even if that means I’m not breaking any records. And like you said: Just because some people claim sugar made them feel sluggish doesn’t mean I can’t have as much as I feel good with.
All of that being said it’s still a work in progress for me to truly stop all comparion but it’s gotten a lot better especially during the past months.
I hope you’re having a great sunny Wednesday, Amanda!
If it makes you feel any better, I’m not running marathons or lifting weights either… and I’m perfectly content with that 🙂
Happy Wednesday, m’dear!
I am the comparison queen. For years and years, I’ve compared my test scores, my body, my diet, my fitness levels, my social life… Geez, it’s freaking exhausting. It’s a whole lot easier to just be me.
I used to compare myself to others a lot more when eating but I have since moved very far away from that stage of life. The thing I’ve realized is that fine I’ll eat twice the amount but I’m running, of course the waitresses have made comments about “damn girl you eat so much” and that never feels good ever but then I realized…yes I also run “so much” so it doesn’t bother me anymore. So I guess in my rambling I realize that I used to compare myself a lot more while eating out with friends but I’m pretty much over that stage and I know for me personally I need to eat more to have solid runs.
Seeing as you’re one of the fastest runners I know, and you look pretty damn amazing, I’d take the “damn girl you eat so much” as a huge compliment. In fact, I’d probably have to bite my tongue not to respond with “try not to be jealous.” 😉
Just caught up on your last post, believe you me the world is your oyster, you have so much ahead of you I know! As for eats I definitely compare, in fact I’ve just had someone say to me ‘I eat so much’ which was so kind of them of course :-/ But getting over that comparison and always bringing it back to me and my body has worked wonders 🙂
Ketchup-flavored Popchips?! We don’t have those in the states. Not a ketchup fan but I’d be interested to try. I’m so guilty of the comparison trap and experimenting with my diet. It took a while for me to be honest with myself and realize what worked for others may not work for me. I’ve ended up going back to my traditional eats and being 100x happier because of it.
ice cream and oreos is one of the best combo’s ever! my husband had an oreo mcflurry from mcdonalds yesterday while I enjoyed a vanilla cone, delightful!
Ah the wonderful comparison trap- something we all fall prey to at least once! I know I did multiple times and ultimately drove myself crazy in the process. I don’t completely regret having done so, because at least it’s taught me what works for and what doesn’t. It keeps changing but right now it means taking each meal as it comes rather than stressing over it….some days that will mean a “proper” dessert, other days I rather have fruit. Some afternoons the only thing that will do is a big ol’ sandwich, whereas other days I crave salads. Ultimately I’ve come to learn that trusting my body works for me…even when it’s easier said than done!
You’re right, Khushboo – the comparisons definitely served as a learning process, but I can’t say that I miss those lessons! I’ve found that going with the flow tends to work the best for me as well, because like you pointed out, no two days are really the same… I ate breakfast for dinner two nights in a row this week, and I honestly can’t fathom doing it again. Chicken is definitely on the menu for tonight.
Great post as usual, Amanda! And I think one of the wonderful things about blogging is that we are often reminded about how we are not alone. Especially through blogs like yours. Thanks for sharing…great mid-week reminder.
I definitely will admit to sometimes still catching a case of the comparisons.
It’s usually when I’m focusing on myself too much and trapped in my own mind.
Also with some of the allergies I have, I get all woe is me. And think why did this have to happen to me….blah blah. All negative stuff basically 😉
So, I’m just trying to be more aware when this happens and get myself out of that thinking, because there’s no benefit to thinking those things.
It’s an easy trap to fall into and hard to pull yourself out, so I always try to remember that, oh and also that there’s no point to it at all.
And you’re so right about finding the positive changes to work towards what you want in life, it’s never too late to make a change there. We all need to find what works for us, and it’s not a one way street. Not one diet works well for everyone.
<3
I don’t think I really compare my foods to other peoples… I know I’m eating well and I know that I am a great cook, so I don’t really envy what other people are eating. Sometimes though, if I see a picture of an extra delicious looking dessert or a fatty Mexican meal, I do get a little jealous, but that’s short lived because I find something equally delicious in my house 😀
Eating a vegetarian diet and eating MAINLY whole foods is what works for me. I research (and continue) to research the vegetarian diet, but a lot of the phasing outs of foods and trying new things in place came naturally and it just works. I don’t really eat much pasta anymore, and that’s fine. I don’t think it’s bad for you, I just don’t think it tastes that great to me and I eat other vegetables as a “pasta” base instead! I know my diet and my lifestyle might not work for anyone else, but it works for me and helps me be the best me!
Favorite flavor of chips is just plain old salty chips.
Confession: I’m not a big fan of pasta either… unless Mac ‘n Cheese counts 😉 When I was younger, the only way I’d eat “pasta” is if it was just plain noodles covered with a little butter and parmesan cheese. These days I usually just don’t bother with the noodles anymore… there are plenty of other things that I’d rather eat.
I think it’s natural that we compare ourselves to others especially in the blogging world. I try and focus on what is best for me and my body.
Comparing myself to others is so easy to fall into. Especially in the healthy living blog word sometimes I think that I need to be doing this or eating that because a blogger is. It’s also in the back of my mind when I’m eating. “I’m trying to be a health/fitness blogger and here I am eating my fourth Sonic ice cream cone this week!” haha. I’ve gotten better at not comparing myself to others and not trying to mimic their life.
You’re absolutely right. Comparing myself to others is one of the worst things I do to myself. Usually it doesn’t accomplish anything. That said, I do sometimes find inspiration out of it, but in all, I don’t think it’s a good habit to have. Thanks for bringing that up!
All of your eats look soooo delicious – especially the ice cream and Oreo combo!
I’m still obsessed with the fact that you say “tonnes” instead of “tons.” Oh, Canadians. 😛 (Fun fact: I was born in Canada. I wish I grew up there; it’s SO pretty!)
“even if that means my eats sometimes resemble those of a 5 year-old.” –> but those are the best! 🙂 I’ve been eating my body weight in fruit as well…my mom complains constantly about me eating all of the fruit in our house!
I also say “eh?” on a pretty regular basis 😉 I seriously have to watch myself when I write because sometimes it ends up sneaking in there…
And yet another refreshing post from you. I can always relate to exactly how you’re feeling. Finding what works for you is so important. I feel like I too have a good grasp on my own food choices. I don’t find myself comparing what I eat to others in terms of what I “should” be doing. For me, eating that bowl of ice cream after dinner is exactly what I need. It keep me mentally healthy. I have work to do in the comparison department for so many other aspects of my life but food is no longer one of them and I’m proud of that. You keep eating what you want to and ill keep eating what I want and we’ll all be so much happier as a result.
I definitely compared myself to others when I first entered the blogger world. It didn’t do my any good, so I had the choice – stop comparing or stop blogging. Fortunately I decided on the first one obviously 🙂 I do compare bodies here and there and it makes me miserable IMMEDIATELY. I know that and mostly find my way back quickly to a healthier approach.
And I love that you forgive yourself and remembered, that we should not waste our time by pondering over how much we already wasted. Life is too short and as you say, it is NEVER too late to stand up and take steps forward.
Berries, Bananafied Oatmeal and Cookies with Icecream please. I’ll have these chips as an appetizer too, thanks! 🙂
Happy WIAW girlie!
I used to compare ALL THE TIME! Hearing people who ate egg whites and chicken and broccoli and lost x amount of weight. Celebrities losing weight in crazy ways for a movie roll. I’m much better now. If you read my blog from the beginning (I don’t recommend that) I went on atkins, south beach, low calorie, low fat, paleo, vegan, cut out gluten and dairy. I was looking my whole life for that “diet lifestyle” that would “save my life.” A miracle diet and didn’t exist. I read so many stories on every diet on how the diet changed their lives and I’ve finally come to the conclusion that I don’t need to rules. And that’s when I started getting happier, stronger, and actually losing weight. (I was slightly overweight almost my whole life. Even through my eating disorder.)
I can definitely relate to that. I dabbled in countless diets, hoping that I’d finally come across THE ONE, and while the diets were all different, the end was always the same – they never stuck and I usually ended up feeling worse than when I started. I can definitely relate to finally becoming happier and healthier when I abandoned all the rules and just started to go with the flow.
It is so easy to get into that comparison trap, with everything, especially food and diet. I have learned the hard way that cutting back on things others do won’t make you happier, in fact, your body could need them even more. The WIAW posts are something that could make others fall into that trap. I know I read a lot of them, and I just don’t like all the food people eat. Does that mean that I need to eat it because so and so is eating it and is losing weight? No. I believe that in life, you have to have balance. Why force myself to eat food I don’t like, when there are plenty of other posts with food I do like!
I think blogging is sometimes a recipe for disaster when it comes to comparing one’s food choices! I always worry that people will read that I’ve eaten pizza and cookies and lattes, and question my integrity as a healthy living blogger, you know?? But I do, so I write about it and simply hope for the best. That’s why I enjoy your blog, Amanda, because you aren’t afraid to say, “hey, I ate some ice cream and it was damn good.”
I also find myself falling into the food comparison trap when out for dinner with girlfriends and everyone starts ordering the “mixed green salad”. You don’t want to say, “Come on ladies!!! Order some bread or something!!”, but then again, I don’t want to be the only one who orders something not-so-healthy either. It’s funny how women think about food. Are guys like this? Doesn’t seem like it!!!
I firmly believe that pizza, cookies, and lattes are part of a healthy diet. Maybe it’s just the fact that I associate the whole 100% clean eating thing with my eating disorder, but I have a hard time believing that there are people out there who NEVER want to indulge a little. There was a time where I convinced myself that I didn’t like any of those “bad” foods, but again… that was just my ED acting up, so I can’t help but raise my eyebrows when I see the same from others…
Well said. I totally agree with you!!! I really think it’s about finding balance- which is definitely a journey in itself 🙂
I’m glad that you’ve found what works for you when it comes to eats. I definitely fall into the comparison trap. I know what works for me, but unfortunately I don’t alway follow it. Love the look of your cereal soup!
Such a beautifully written post! You are right it really is never too late to make positive changes towards what you want! I love your note on comparison too. It’s all about finding out what works for you and sticking to it!
I admit it. I’m comparing myself to your WIAW. I want that ice cream. NOW. 😉 Great point girl, and of course, great eats too!
I feel like standing up at my desk and applauding this post. Comparing oneself to others is no good, because it makes you feel worse off than you are, and you probably assume that person you’re comparing yourself to is better off than they really are. Have you ever seen the play or movie, Rent? I was obsessed with the play when I was in 9th grade because I lived just outside NYC and went like 3 times, and i had the soundtrack and there’s one song/line/lyric that I always tell myself when I catch myself being jealous or envious of others: “today for you, tomorrow for me”. like, it reminds me that its great someone else is having a moment, i dont need to be jealous, because ill keep working and tomorrow i’ll get mine. have a wonderful wednesday girlie!
I’e never seen Rent, but I’m loving that line! Thanks for sharing, girlie! And I hope you’re having a fabulous Wednesday as well <3
No carbs after breakfast? Crazy! I don’t know how people do that. I love my carbs! When I feel myself start comparing, I try to step back and get off of the computer for awhile. Everyone is different and I can only focus on myself.
I commented a few days ago on your calorie counting post and well, I’ve decided to start blogging about my journey too (slightly scared but excited).
I just want to say that I admire how incredibly honest you are. I think we are ALL guilty of comparison, especially on the blog world because writers want to be upbeat and positive and sometimes readers think that their whole life is perfect when we all know full well that no-one has a perfect life.
I’m holding you solely responsible with my desire to now cover cereal in almond butter, but your also responsible for actually getting me to eat breakfast regularly too because of all the yum ideas. I think because I’m not the worlds greatest cook it’s easy to get meal envy but I’m loving trialling (and there’s plenty of erroring – that’s definitely not a word) new ideas and recipes and I hope now I’ve found my space on the web I might be able to do that..!
Keep being awesome and keep having breakfast for dinner, I’m right with you!
x
I definitely remember the scared but excited feeling I got when I first started blogging, but you’re going to love it! And I’ll gladly take the blame for getting you to start eating breakfast and covering cereal in almond butter. Those are some of my favorite things in life, so I’m more than happy to share the love 😀
It’s quickly becoming one of MY favourite things in life too! haha 😀 xx