Hullo. My name is Amanda, and I don’t eat meat.
You can call me a vegetarian if you like, but I’d really prefer it if you just called me Amanda. I used to hate my name when I was younger, and always wished that I had a “cooler” name (I have no idea what that even means 😯), but I’ve kinda grown to like it over the past 26 years. Amanda. That’s me.
But I digress. And I don’t eat meat.
Why?
Well, there are a number of different reasons, really. I’d love to say that my decision to avoid eating animal flesh is 100% motivated by my disgust at the inhumane practices of the meat industry, and while that’s true to a certain extent, ethics aren’t the only factor behind my choice. After all, there are plenty of farms around here which I know are cruelty free, so what keeps me from picking up some chicken or beef at the local farmer’s market?
It simply doesn’t appeal to me, [and it kind of skeeves me out].
… like zucchinis. But, again, I digress.
[Salad beast. English muffin with avocado and ricotta & jam. Carrot sticks]
I’ve never been a big meat-eater. Never really craved it. I ate meat when I was teeny tiny, but only because it’s what my mom gave me. I ate meat when I got a little older, but again, only because it’s what my family was eating, and I didn’t know enough about vegetarianism back then to drastically change my diet.
But the older I got, the less meat I ate. In the two or three years prior to my adopting a vegetarian diet, I was only eating meat about twice a week – usually at times when I sat down with my family to a meal that my mom cooked. To this day, I’ve never actually prepared a meat-based meal on my own… I was actually always afraid that I wouldn’t cook it properly and give myself food poisoning 😯
But I digress. Again.
Baking: love the process, hate the clean up…
… but the product is more than worth it…
It pains me to say this, but my decision to completely eliminate meat from my diet came around the same time that my eating disorder began to surface. However, back then I didn’t just eliminate meat… I eliminated all animal products and adopted a full vegan diet. Go big, or go home?
Something like that..
Anyways, veganism did not work for me. I ended up becoming the unhealthiest that I’ve ever been, which obviously had more to do with my eating disorder than the diet itself, but I found myself missing, and craving, a lot of my favorite foods. Yogurt. Eggs. Cheese. Honey… Foods that I genuinely wanted, but wouldn’t “allow” myself to have.
[An afternoon oatmeal snack. Oat bran, flaxmeal, Greek yogurt, wild blueberries]
Still, I clung to veganism, even during the initial stages of my recovery. It became a way for me to hang on to my eating disorder while giving the outward appearance that I was trying to recover, as it allowed me to continue restricting in a more socially “acceptable” manner.
“Sorry I can’t eat that; I’m vegan” was my excuse of choice.
But I knew that it wasn’t for me, and it was only a matter of time before I caved to my cravings. Yogurt came first. After spending countless amounts of time gazing longingly at the tempting tubs in the dairy section of my grocery store, I came home with a tub of my very own. And it. was. gooooood. I would only allow myself to have miniscule amounts of it at first, but I was definitely a fan.
[Deep Chocolate Vitamuffin. Greek yogurt. Caramel pudding]
Eggs came next. Err. Egg whites I should say. I still had an irrational fear of yolks at that point, but quickly developed a strong liking for the whites (yolks showed up later, too). Eventually, cheese started to sneak its way back in there as well. Cottage. Cream. Parm. Mozza. Feta. Any kind but blue…
I was never a fan of the “stanky feet” cheese…
[Pumpkin Hummus Tortilla Pizza]
But one thing that never seemed to find it’s way back into my diet? Meat. The cravings for it just never came. In the later stages of my recovery, I started getting a little concerned that the lack of meat in my diet was yet another tricky form of restriction, so I stopped referring to myself as a vegetarian, and told myself that if there was a time where I was really craving some meat, I would be “allowed” to have it.
So far it hasn’t happened. Will it? Who knows. I’m extremely satisfied with the way that I eat now, and never find myself feeling wanting or deprived, but that doesn’t mean that it’ll always be this way. Tomorrow I might wake up craving bacon and eggs. Who knows. But judging from the way things have been for the past few years, it’s probably safe to say that tomorrow I’ll wake up craving oatmeal… like I always do.
[Eggy bananafied steel cut oats with blueberries, vanilla pudding, and coconut butter]
As a final note, please do not take this as an attack on any specific diet/lifestyle. I have no problem with anyone’s dietary choices, as long as they’re eating what they want and what makes them happy and healthy. Meat-eaters. Plant-eaters. You could eat bugs for all I care, and I would still invite you over for dinner. I can’t promise that I’d be serving crickets, but if you’d like to bring a plate of your own, then hey, that’s perfectly okay with me. Just don’t be offended when I politely decline one.
The only time I have a problem with the way someone eats is when their choices are influenced by disordered thoughts, or when they try to push their dietary beliefs onto others. So if you’re not a Food Nazi, or in denial about a disorder, then we’ll get along juuuuust fine 😀
. – . – . – .
Do you eat meat? If not, why not? Ethics? Health? Preference? Fear?
Would you eat it if you started craving it?
As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts 😀
I like meat ok, I can live without them, but I eat meat. I occasionally crave bacon or burgers or hotdogs. I really like your attitude about it. The problem with eliminating a certain food, esp when you have a history with an ED, is a rocky, risky business, but the fact that you don’t label yourself, and you’re open to maybe introducing it to your diet one day, proves that this is just a natural step for you. Nobody should be forced to eat something they truly don’t want just to “prove” something.
Agreed! I tried eating a lot more junk food just to prove to people that my desire to eat healthy wasn’t a result of my ED, and it made me absolutely miserable. I eat to satisfy cravings… not to prove points.
Well written post! I do’nt eat meat either – and to be honeset, I’m kind of the same as you – I never really liked it but just ate it because “that’s what was being served”!
I admire you for coming into the blog world never labeling yourself as a vegetarian. Just amanda!
I stung to veganism when I began my recovery from my eating disorder. I guess because my doctor insisted my mom cook for me, which I refused because I was vegan. (control issues) I also wanted the label. “no I can’t go eat out with you because I’m vegan and that have anything for me”. To be honest though, I did stop craving animal products until I reached a healthy weight and started running, then they came at me!
That’s when, as you know, I started eating eggs and cheese again because I craved them.
So yes I feel as though I could eat meat if I craved it although I can’t say I’ve ever really desired it (even if it did I would have no idea how to prepare it! :O )
I did have a craving for seafood recently and I feel like if the craving came back I would go out and get me some.
I always buy organic eggs/dairy and local when possible, with the exception of when I’m eating out. personally many people will argue that is not really humane but In my opinion it is a BETTER option than factory farming which I think makes a difference.
Wow, thanks for that refreshing post! Maybe soon – I too can discuss my journey – for now though, I can say although we have never met – I consider you a friend…thanks for this post… Xoxo
And thank YOU for leaving a comment that made me smile 😀
Right now, I’d say I’m probably 80% vegetarian. I honestly do prefer eating a plant-based diet, meat doesn’t really appeal to me either and eating vegetarian just makes me feel healthier. But since I live with my parents when I’m not at school, I have to abide by their rules of eating meat at dinner if it’s served. They are still worried about me with my ED past, so I can understand that, but I don’t voluntarily eat meat if I don’t have to. I do refuse to eat any red meat or pork, but I will have chicken and fish if that’s what’s for dinner. I do actually like seafood and fish if it’s grilled, but I think I could live without it. However, I’ve also never liked eggs and now I don’t really like much dairy, especially cheese, so I’m also kinda vegan but I don’t think I could ever give up my beloved Greek yogurt 😉
I’ve recently stopped eating most meat, mostly for quality reasons. I will only eat cruelty free organic meat, and being at school, that is not readily available – but even when I got home and it was available, I found myself not wanting it. At all. Even when my family would cook red meat, I’d eat a little and feel slightly ill – just because I had not had any in so long.
And I’m totally okay with it! I eat chicken and turkey now and then, and not a ton of dairy, but I’ve seriously let up with the restrictions. I’m thinking of calling myself a ‘qualitarian’! haha.
I stopped eating meat when I was in 6th grade.
When I was in my late 20s and deep in anorexia I was encouraged to eat meat (meat vs daily EKGs? ummm..ok…) and so I ate some chicken…a little turkey…I was amazed at how great they made me feel…
BUT…I was starving back then. Literally. My body would have loved anything.
I ate some turkey a few times a year for a few years.
I also during that time met seafood. Um…I don’t think I will ever go back. SO GOOD!!!!
PLUS..it feels natural. No womb…I could probably kill one. Could I kill a chicken or cow? No.
Still…every so often I get so depleted that I find myself craving PROTEIN and man…some turkey never looked so good. I always joke…I was sick but I had some carcass. Totally fine.
It bothers me a little but until I get to that place where I can eat properly it is really alarming that my body will drive me to eat a carcass. I am just. that. hungry.
I think you can do a veggie/vegan diet but you have to do it properly. You seem to do that. Love it!
You should definitely give your body meat if that’s what it’s calling out for, without letting it bother you too much… especially if it makes you feel that much better. Health and healing are the most important things… you can sort through all the other stuff when you have that under control.
I really don’t eat meat either but I don’t call myself a vegetarian. I eat a lot of fish and eggs but I also don’t call myself a pescatarian, or lacto-ovo pescatarian, or whatever. My ED definitely had a lot to do with not eating meat, and I did eat more of it when I was gaining. But now – honestly – meat just kind of creeps me out. A lot.
I am not a big fan of meat either. It just doesn’t really appeal to me and I am not a fan of food industry practices either.
Those muffins look fabulous btw!
I became a veg when my eating disorder started, too, and stayed that way for almost ten years. I started eating white meat last summer but usually only when I go out — I’m just like you, TERRIFIED I will undercook it and get food poisoning! haha
I think it is all a matter of choice. If you don’t like meat, then don’t eat it. You can get your protein and micro elements from somewhere else.
I eat meat. Of course, I eat it much less often than my mother used to cook it at home and I don’t eat certain types of meat because I find them disgusting but yes, I do eat meat when I crave it. And I even don’t mind cooking it. But if I had to kill an animal myself to eat it, I would definitely become a vegetarian and stick to eggs and dairy.
And, really, what’s not cool about being called Amanda? It sounds pretty cool to me 🙂 .
Your food pictures seriously make me hungry, even though I just ate dinner.
I tried vegetarianism for like a good 5 days and just couldn’t do it. I don’t eat meat super often, but life without a turkey sandwich here and there just wasn’t making the cut. I think it’s so awesome that you love the food you eat and you have legit reasons as to why you’re vegetarian. I really didn’t have any reasons-no ethical, moral or health issues-so I couldn’t justify why I turned vegetarian. Soooo I went back.
And love how you made a distinction between deprivation due to disordered thoughts and just simply not wanting a food-so important!
I don’t eat meat simply because of ethics. There isn’t any eating disorder thoughts behind it. I use to eat meat like crazy. I was a huge meat eater actually, but one time my godmother order me like a 16oz steak and just turned me off completely. I also lived next to cows for a long time and I loved them so much that I never wanted to eat one again.
ahhh me too! I always wanted a cooler name. Now I wouldn’t change it for the world =)
I flirted with veganism too but i just cant do it! I la la love yogurt and cheese too much! and eggs are fun =) I need quiches in my life!
I eat meat — but I don’t have as much of it as I used to — but then again, I used to buy whatever was on sale at the store. Now I order meat from a farm — I know where it is coming from and I can honestly taste the difference in quality. But I love meat — I grew up eating meat (my dad likes to hunt and fish) and I really have no intention of stopping.
I love that you do what works for you and I agree with the “eat how you like as long as it isn’t triggered by disordered thoughts”.
I was vegetarian during my ED because I didn’t crave/like meat at that time. Then when I started recovery, I started craving meat like crazy! I guess I was very malnourished, lacked so much in iron, B vitamins and such. So after eating loads of meat when I was gain, my craving diminished and I rarely eat it now
VERY good post girl. I love hearing all this about you, its totally like were good friends and your letting me into another part of your life 🙂 I do eat meat, but not very much. I could really go without it, but I do sometimes crave bbq chicken. I could totally go without meat if I could just have eggs everyday 🙂
Awesome post! I’m glad that you are now eating and not eating certain things because it’s what you want and what your body wants. I do eat meat, pretty much every day. I love it! Fish is one of my favs. I’m not a huge red meat eater….I only have that like once a month. I also love that you aren’t calling yourself vegetarian because you want to make sure that you aren’t limiting yourself because of your ED past. I think that is an awesome insight to have!
I totally respect your choice not to eat meat. I also became a vegetarian as I “recovered” from my ED, only to find out it was yet another form of restriction. Honestly, I’ve always liked meat, so I believe that it’s physically and emotionally healthy for me to have it. But if you’ve never liked meat, then it might be healthier for you NOT to have it. You know what I mean?
Amanda, I adore your attitude toward life, it’s always so positive and filled with love! Way to embrace your cravings and character!!
I’ve always been a carnivore, eating my body weight in chicken ever since I was a tike haha 😉 There is an exception though…beef and pork–I never took any liking towards ’em. I get oober queasy from the beef and pork just tastes gnarly to me, so I never really eat them. Chicken, fish, turkey, and eggs? That’s another story haha 😉 And my dairy, don’t get me started on my beloved dairy 😛
Ahh thank you so much for sharing your story! Meat never really appealed to me either, but I became a vegan because of animal cruelty. I was also a go big or go home! Haha, but thats just because I didn’t eat dairy anyway (lactose intolerant..). I think that if I wasn’t lactose intolerant, I would definitely have a harder time turning down dairy like greek yogurt. Everyone blogs about how awesome it is, so it makes me curious haha! But yeah, I’m really happy that you listened to your cravings and started eating dairy/eggs 🙂 Go meat-free eaters tho!!!
Nice to meet you Amanda 🙂 My name first name is Deborah, but you can call me Maxwell.
You could also call me a vegetarian, but I prefer you didn’t. I don’t eat meat because I don’t like it. But I am not controlled by the restrictions placed on the label “vegetarian”, so I don’t like being defined by it. If my body craved fish, I would eat fish. If my body craved chicken, I would eat chicken. But it doesn’t.
It is true that I don’t like the thought of eating animals or supporting the animal industry, but if my body wanted some meat, that wouldn’t stop me from eating some.
So I when people ask, “why don’t you eat meat?” after scanning my plate, I say, ” I just don’t like meat that much.” then smile and move on 🙂
I’ve been both a vegan and a vegetarian in my life, for ethical as well as health-related reasons. Right now, I am neither, but I seldom eat meat. Like you, I just don’t enjoy it very much. Very rarely do I actually crave it. Once in a while a turkey sandwich sounds good, or a nice piece of fish. Sometimes I want a burger. But I almost always prefer tofu, tempeh, and other plant-based proteins. They just appeal to me so much more, and I honestly think they taste better. Even as a kid, I never ate a lot of meat. I ate it when it was served to me, but never had much of an interest in it. Cheese, on the other hand…that’s another story! 😉
Haha! Omigosh yes! I have the BIGGEST weakness for cheese – couldn’t live without it.
Great post – I really loved hearing about your relationship with food – through veganism and then vegetarianism — or.. just a person who doesn’t like meat.
I don’t eat red meats. I eat chicken and turkey. I like the taste of those. Red meat – however.. I do not like. I never have. When I did eat it as a child.. I would saturate steaks with A1 – and drown my burgers in ketchup. Clearly I needed to mask that taste to get it down. I was eating it because it was what was given to me. Now that I do my own thing.. I never eat it. Never crave it. If one day I really wanted a hamburger.. or a steak.. I’d eat it. But since i have such a strong distaste for it.. I don’t see it happening.
Of course I love this post 🙂 Label-free!! I was really picky about meat as a kid – I liked bacon, chicken and turkey in the bird-form and that was about it – and as I grew up and fed myself it’d be pretty much chicken or no meat, and I would never make it for myself. Unless it was frozen, pre-cooked chicken tenders.
I guess I just sort of phased out of it, really. I think I became more opposed to it, ethically, after I stopped eating it! Just the whole idea of it turned me off as I learned more. I won’t lie – there has been a time or two where I smell something my mom’s cooking with meat and think I might want it…but then the second I actually think about eating it myself, I get so skeeved out.
That said, watching people eat it, smelling it, etc. really doesn’t bother me at all. Well, unless it’s raw. I can’t deal with raw meat without my face scrunching up without my even knowing it, ahah…But who knows?Maybe I’ll wake up tomorrow wanting a good old fashioned hamburger!
Eee raw meat skeeves me out as well. And can you believe that I’ve never had a real hamburger? Not even back in the day… I was more of a chicken/turkey kind of girl…
I think that’s a healthy way of looking at what you eat. If you crave it, eat it.
All through college I was vegan, and as time went on, I felt really unhealthy. Sluggish, got sick a lot. It wasn’t for me.
I quickly added eggs and dairy back into my life, and in recent years, when I crave it [or when I’m traveling and have trouble finding vegetarian foods], I eat fish.
Why do I not really meat? It’s partly for environmental reasons, partly for ethics [I hate the thought of so many animals getting killed and exploited just for human consumption], and partly for health. My reasons are always changing.
Zomg, I made those (amaaaaaazing)muffins of yours again today!- great minds eh?
I eat chicken(rarely) & fish. I was veggie for like 13 years but due to hardly liking any dairy at the time felt I wasn’t getting enough protein, so I added some meat back. Everyone always goes on about the benefits of eating fish- and I find certain varieties, mostly salmon & tuna, pretty delish, so for me I think it was worthwhile.
Zuchinni gives me the heebeejeebees too, but my generous auntie gave me a few from her garden. I couldn’t let them go to waste- so I did what works with most situations in life- added chocolate. I made chocolate zuchinni muffins , and they turned out good, really good!
Gooooorgeouus pictures!
Xxx
I don’t eat meat. Like you, I’ve never been a big meat eater. I just ate it because it’s what my family was eating and making. Sure, bacon and turkey taste good, but I’ve lost all desire to eat those foods because I do care a lot about animals and even the free-range, cruelty-free, organic animals had to die. Also, I’m reading this great book, The China Study, which really has encouraged me to eat a plant based diet.
Hello Amanda!
I love your name, I always didn’t like mine, especially because it is really just Katie not Katherine, and I always felt shorted ; ) haha!
I do eat chicken, but as far as red meat, I have not ate in 10 years, yup, just didn’t like it anymore and stopped eating it, and nope , never crave it at all or want it, if I did , then I would have it, I always listen to my body ; ) Im not a red meat girl !
I hope you have a wonderful night love xoxo <3
Awwr girl you shouldn’t feel shorted at all! I think you’ve got an awesome name, and honestly I couldn’t see you as a Katherine… Katie suits you well 😀
I love your healthy attitude towards food and totally agree that each person should do ehat right for them! I do not eat meat -i haven’t since i was a child – i never really enjoyed it. I do however eat fish regularly. I too definately cut out certain foods when i was suffering from my eati g disorder but realuzed how many wonderful things i was missing and gradually have reintroduced them and am so much happier. I dom’t think ill ever eat meat again but i love your outlook on food – to each their own!
– oh and by the way i think Amanda is a “cool” name! 🙂
“and never find myself feeling wanting or deprived” YES oh my gosh. I needed to read these words. People keep asking me why I haven’t been eating meat or trying new things lately and it’s just because I don’t find myself wanting that. I want something else. I don’t feel deprived in anyway with what I’ve been eating I’ve been so much happier!
I haven’t cut meat out because I still crave the occasional grilled chicken or turkey breast but over the past 3 months I’ve cut back on my meat intake. I haven’t been craving it like I used to! Now all i want is cottage cheese, yogurt, eggs, dairy in general.. and I could never give up seafood. I love love love it.
One day recently Kyle had a piece of pork and I wanted to try it to see if I liked it or if I had been depriving myself of it so I asked for a piece. Turns out I’m not! so yes I would probably give into a craving if I had one
I do eat meat and enjoy it as well! My family tries to have at least 2 days of no-meat dinners every week though, that means eggs, beans, etc. Red meat is a once-in awhile thing for us. I love my dairy too! I could never give that up 🙂
So much of this post resonates with me–thanks for putting my thoughts so eloquently into words 🙂
I don’t like the label of being vegetarian. It sets up a type of competition in my mind, like I have to be the “best” and most hard core vegetarian (which, not coincidentally, was my approach to ED).
That being said, I don’t eat meat, except for seafood (to live by the bay and not eat seafood is a crime). I started cutting out meat because of my ED, though I was never a red meat fan. And the more I learned about where my meat was coming from, the more it grossed me out. I don’t miss it, not when they are so many delicious meat-free options out there.
I’m all about everyone eating what’s best for them. I don’t eat meat for my reasons. But- I always get those “do you care if I eat meat?” questions, or people fearing that I’ll try to “convert” them, or something of the sort. I’m not that way at ALL! Each person is different, each person should eat what they want, and I’m completely okay with someone consuming / preparing / etc. meat around me. It skeeves me, sure- but that’s because I wouldn’t want to eat it, not because they’re eating it. Heck- I’ll even prepare meat for my parents to help around the house from time to time. I just don’t want to eat it.
I don’t eat meat for reasons mostly related to preference and spirituality. I haven’t craved it yet, but I doubt I’d eat it due to my beliefs. It’s just not for me, and I don’t see it fitting into my balance any time soon!
I’d love to stay and chat, but I’ve got some eggy banana oats to make…
😉
Love you, girl!
I added Greek yogurt back into my diet because I was craving it. If I wanted cheese or eggs, I would add them. I am not scared of adding food back into my diet. I will never define myself by my diet again. I am Katherine.
When I went vegetarian, I was sorta already going without meat. I just didn’t realize it. I didn’t crave the meat. Then I just made it final, vegetarianism. If I wanted to go back I will, but I never crave it, and the idea,…it just doesn’t sit well with me.
I don’t really crave meat so much; if I do, I’m usually craving for some fish, like tuna (it was the tuna mayo that made me quit vegetarianism). Then I just started to meat regularly again, but mostly because of the protein, not because I really ‘wanted’ it. Lately I haven’t been eating a lot of meat, but if I crave it, I have no problem of getting myself a “legit” burger or steak, or asking my mom to cook me some Korean meat dish.
More and more, I’m starting to believe that our body knows what it wants. For example, when I was having my growth-spurt, I was eating meat or seafood at every meal. But my mom told me that before (and now currently) I didn’t like meat that much at all. I really think every individual is unique.
The comment is long, but last: I’m constantly in dillemma if humans really need meat or not. Learning about our body in my Biology system, and reading all these other articles on the web leave me confused. My conclusion is that humans are fine as long as we get what we need.
I’m a big time believer that our bodies will tell us what they need, as long as we’re willing to listen. That’s why I always do my best to listen to my cravings 😀
When I was younger I wanted a cooler name too, there were a million Sarahs in my classes! I don’t eat meat, but it hasn’t been a long time. I never really craved it, but my parents thought that if I didn’t eat it I was restricting so I ate a bit when they were around to make them happy. When I started eating what I want, rather than what they want I stopped eating meat because honestly it errks me out. I don’t like chewing on a chicken breast. Every once in a blue moon I crave fish, but that is still very rare! 🙂
I really like this post. Its honest and its real.
I grew up in a red meat eating house. I ate it as a kid and liked it enough to keep eating it in adolescents, but as I have gotten older I just don’t really enjoy it. I hardly ever eat red meat anymore, but I do still eat poultry and fish. I love fish!
I find it fascinating how taste buds change…I hope mine continue to change. Its kind of fun!
I like how you started this post- the shunning of the dietary labels that have become so customary in our society- I have a lot of friends who have gone vegan or raw and are always complaining about craving cheese or meat or whatnot and I’m just like, “if you want it so bad then eat it”
That being said I do eat meat, a lot of it…during my eating disorder I had a time when I was vegetarian temporarily but it was mostly an excuse to restrict- the truth is I love meat, crave it, and eating it satiates me personally in a way that eating purely vegetarian 24/7 doesn’t, but I respect that we are all different and all have varying diets that work for us.
I’m also very picky about the meat I eat despite it’s frequent prevalence in my diet- I only buy/eat grass-fed, local, hormone-free/antibiotic-free humanely raised meat–it’s shocking the conditions animals raised otherwise go through (not to mention the unnatural diets and conditions they put those poor animals on)
I think it’s great that you’re doing what works for you 😀 And it’s good to hear that you get your meat from good sources 🙂
Love this post. Do what’s best for you! Own it 🙂
I now eat chicken, fish (mostly just seafood though), and turkey when it comes to meat. I source the meat (i.e. buy organic) when possible. I also eat eggs and some dairy.