It’s been a while since I’ve said this, but… thank. goodness. it’s. Friday.
I’m wiped. Pooped. Tuckered out. I have no idea how people make it through a busy work week and still find the energy to go out and party. All I want to do is curl up on the couch and pass out.
All of this condo buying craziness has left me feeling completely drained, and if I never have to deal with another bank again, I’ll be ooone happy camper. Hey, a girl can dream, can’t she? And please don’t remind me that I still have to actually pack up and move; I don’t even want to think about that just yet…
Le sigh.
But now, if you’ll excuse me, it’s time to ditch the ‘tude, bring the pity party to an end, and lighten up a bit… and I know just the thing that will help me do that…
Ahhh. Much better. The ability that good food has to turn my frown upside down never ceases to amaze me. It’s like magic. Really, really, delicious magic. The kind of magic that you never want to end…
I don’t know about you guys, but sometimes I get a little bit sad as I take the last bite of a really good meal. If this is a sight that fills my heart with joy (and it does)…
Then this is a sight that… well… that takes some of that joy away…
Although I have to admit… the pink bunny makes me smile. Yes, I’m a 10 year old at heart. No shame.
When I was little, I remember not being able to finish a meal fast enough. I ate pretty slowly, but all I wanted was to get it over with so that I could go back to doing something more interesting. Like play with my Legos. Or build forts out of blankets and sofa cushions. Huh. Maybe I should have been an architect.
But I digress.
When my eating disorder hit, I remember not being able to eat a meal slow enough. I dragged out my meals for as loooooong as I possibly could because one of the only times I felt happy was when I was eating, and I wanted to milk it for all that it was worth. I could spend an hour and a half smiling as I munched on an apple, but as soon as I finished, my frown would return. Big time.
Thankfully, those days are a thing of the past; and while finishing a meal is no longer a frown inducing event, there’s always that feeling of “awww… it’s over?” associated with the last bite of whatever it is that I happen to be eating…
Happy face … Sad face
I can’t help it. I like to eat. It’s obviously not the only thing I enjoy, but it’s definitely one of my life’s many pleasures. As such, I guess it’s only natural to feel a hint of disappointment when it’s over. But at least I find comfort in knowing that I get to do it again… and again… and again… and again x infinity…
… if only there weren’t so many dirty dishes involved…
. – . – . – .
Can anyone relate?
If not pressed for time, do you eat quickly or slowly?
Amanda, I really LOVE your blog! Thank you for all of the hard work and effort you put into each and every post! They have really changed me for the better. I see things differently. I eat more happily. I am happier. Thank you for everything.
Haha! I’m the same way! Especially when it comes to breakfast…or should I say breakfast food in general…nevermind the time of day it is actually eaten. I know you completely understand my fellow “breakfast for dinner lover”! The saddest part is that as much as I try to slow down during my mealtimes, I always seem to finish in record time! I think it has to do with living an on-the-go life for so long…meals were an afterthought usually eaten while driving to my next “commitment” (school, work, etc) or mindlessly munching while studying or doing at least 297 other things. How sad is it that I can finish any given meal in LESS time than it takes to actually prepare?! Ugh, I really need to work at this some more! 🙁
I’ve relocated four times during the past year, so I can definitely relate to the stresses associated with moving! It sounds like you’ve found a wonderful place though, so hopefully a year from now you’ll be able to look back on this period and smile, knowing that it was all worth it. 🙂
I am a plate-cleaner. When I prepare my own meals, nothing is left untouched. I use my fingers to swipe up every last splash of sauce, which means I often go through two or three napkins. And you better believe I’m sad when it’s all over! However I occasionally struggle with the question of whether or not I’ve eaten enough. Sometimes my body tells me I’m full when I know I should probably go back for another helping. And sometimes my body tells me I’m hungry when I’ve eaten a larger portion than normal. Giving myself permission to eat more without feeling a twinge of guilt is something I’m still working on.
As far as speed goes: I think I eat at a relatively normal pace now, however I’ve found that on the rare occasions when my hunger is out of control (such as tonight, after I’d been out all day and depleted my purse snack supply), I have a hard time going slow. I guess it’s that animal instinct–“get food in body as quickly as possible before somebody else comes and takes it!” I have to consciously tell myself to chew all my food before swallowing. This wouldn’t have happened when I was in the depths of my ED, however. Like you, I ate sloooooow. I’d pick apart a Luna bar one soy nugget at a time would stir and re-stir the food around my plate to make it last longer. I’m so glad those days are long gone! Even though the end of my (much shorter) meals induce a bit of sadness, I take comfort knowing that when it comes to eating, “…I get to do it again… and again… and again… and again x infinity…” 😀
“one of the only times I felt happy was when I was eating, and I wanted to milk it for all that it was worth.”
Oh my gosh! I so felt this was deep in my ed and still do! I’ve spent so long embarrassed to tell people how much I LOVE meals because ed always tells me it’s a sign that I’m “out of control” or something 0_o. But thank you for saying this, I really needed to hear it put into the words that you used. People might think that it’s weird…but a lot of anorexia sufferers really do live to eat.
xxx
I love the phrase “tuckered out” lol…I am going to have to start using that! I can definitely relate. When I was active in my eating disorder I would eat SO slowly because it was literally the only thing I enjoyed. So glad that is over and done with and I can enjoy food!
I totally agree…viewing food in a positive way is a HUGE step in enjoying life.
I’m a super slow eater! It’s not even a conscious thing. I never do it on purpose, I just naturally eat really sloooow. Which works out well for me because, like you, I LOVE to eat. And it’s nice to really savor every bite. And I can relate to the moment of sadness when they last bite comes! Luckily there is always another snack or meal to be had!
I have been really trying to make an effort to sloooow down my eating. When I eat slow and mindfully, I end up feeling so much more satisfied and content compared to when I wolf something down…but sometimes the hunger beast gets the best of me and any food near me simply has no chance. what can you do? 😉
I ate slowly when I had a ED just because I could eat less that way. I would fill up faster by eating slow so I didn’t have to eat that much.
Your bunny bowl is too cute! When it’s something really good, I always get sad when I’m down to my last few bites. That’s when I start to drag it out as long as possible. Then I take that last bite, and even though I’m full, wish I had more. I think this tends to happen the most during breakfast, my favorite meal of the day 🙂
I definitely relate! It’s very different from when you were a kid and food was the last thing on your mind. I always get a little sad when the meal is over, but after I check in with my stomach and I know that I’m satisfied, it’s a-okay.
I’m in the process of moving right now too – I know the stress you are feeling. But what I keep thinking about is how a month from now I’ll be all settled in to my new “home”. Keep the end goal in sight girl!
I’m always the last one to finish eating whenever I eat with anyone else! My little brother always gets so impatient with me in restaurants because I like to spend a while enjoying my food, while he would rather scarf his chicken strips and get out of there. And when we all go out for frozen yogurt… haha, I usually end up eating mine in the car because I’m probably only a third of the way through my cup when everybody else is long done!
I love what you said there at the end. I’m always sad to finish a meal… but its not like I’m not going to be eating again soon. It used to be that way but not anymore.
Still… I like big voluminous meals and I like to enjoy them slowly if given the opportunity!
I get so sad for the last bite too! So I try to make sure that last bite is just really good and hope the taste stays for a while 😉 I’m definitely a slow eater! Eating too fast turns my stomach upside down.
And I’m a 10 year old at heart too, so you’re not alone 😉
Have a wonderful weekend!
<3
I’m a really slow eater as well. I like to enjoy every bite. I don’t like being rushed at all. I’m usually the last one to finish at the table. And yes, I can definitely relate! 😀 That’s why I love cute plates haha. They make me smile when my delicious food is gone. I usually use up so many dishes when I prepare my meals though. I’m not a fan of washing dishes at all. I want a chocolate muffin now!
I don’t try to eat fast or slowly. However hungry/rushed I am and how tasty/bulky the food is usually is what causes me to eat faster/slower. I just enjoy the food!!! 🙂
UGH I totally can relate- especially about looking forward to food all day and then dragging it out once a meal came up, even if it was just 1/2 a sandwich or something. I still eat rather slowly, but I enjoy every bit and it is not just a measly 1/2 a sandwich 😉
I’m the same way at the end of a meal for a few seconds afterwards. Aw, is it over? Or darn, I’m full and can’t eat anymore of this good food haha. It passes quickly and I’m ready to get back to what I was doing, but during my ED it was a terrible thing. I felt empty and discontent after everything. I’m a slow eater by nature and always have been. I remember once when I was 11 eating a salad and an hour later wasn’t done so my parents scolded me and made me leave. I just don’t eat fast. But, during my ED I drug it out taking the smallest of bites.
Now, I’m still a slow eater (but back to normal), and I cherish my meals by making them filling/healthy and happy. I just get that sad feeling for about a minute after eating ice cream 😉
Haha oh I definitely feel you on the ice cream. That’s why I have to go back for another scoop sometimes 😀
I always feel really guilty about how much I love to eat, so it’s nice to see someone embracing it.
I do take things a bit far though: I am SO sad when I’ve finished a meal and know it’ll be a while before I can eat again…I clock-watch all the time, counting down the minutes until I’ll have more food. Not because I’m hungry or deprived, just because if my metabolism would allow I’d never stop eating!
xxx
I’m always a little sad when a really good meal is over too. I feel that way every morning after my breakfast! 😛 I’m a pretty slow eater when I have distractions (like blogs, the tv, or a book) but if I’m just focusing on eating then I tend to speed through it. Especially at restaurants! I wish I could learn to slow down when I eat out because I always end up overeating since my body doesn’t have time to realize it’s full yet.
I love love my food too..especially in the form of muffins like yours! 😛
Sadly, I eat way too fast really which means that the end comes too soon so I find myself upset that the end is over quickly 🙁 Fortunately though, I like to eat a lot and frequently so it means the next lot of food is never too far away YAY! During my ED days when I was in clinics etc I would eat as slowly as I could (I would take 2 hours to eat a meal…) so that the food would go stone cold and I’d come out with the excuse that it was ‘too cold to eat’ and they weren’t allowed to re-heat it because of bacteria etc..sometimes it didn’t work though and they’d make me eat it cold anyway. Sad sad times. 🙁 Looking back I can’t even believe that it was me who did that..because food is the love of my life!
Absolutely in LOVE with your bowl girly! I love kiddy kitchenware hehe!!
oh my goodness I can completely relate.. I always try to eat slow just so I can savor my food… By the time I’ve taken 5 bites of my food Kyle is finished his first plate. I love to savor my foods. I would have to say I’m a moderate eater. Sometimes if I’m starving I’ll finish a meal in 10 minutes but then I’m always really disappointed I didn’t eat slower.
I get really sad when I come to the last bite of something delicious but I remind myself that I’ll probably have it again in a few days so no need to become too upset 😉
If my bowl had that cute pink bunny at the bottom, I’d eat wicked fast 😀
I’m a slow eater – when I was little, I ALWAYS ate too fast, was ALWAYS the first to finish and then had 10mins sitting there and being bored! Now I eat slowly because I enjoy eating – the taste, textures, smell..I just love it! If I have to eat fast for whatever reason, that’s cool too – but if there’s a choice, I savour my meals 🙂