Herro der! 😀
Happy labour day long weekend to everyone who’s enjoying an extra day off today, and happy Monday to anyone who isn’t. Today’s post is going up a little late because I didn’t get a chance to sit down and write any of it yesterday. I was out at the lake for most of the day, and while I originally planned on doing a bit of writing while I was there, things just didn’t quite work out that way…
So I’m just going to go with the [thought] flow this morning, and see where it gets me… and right now it’s not getting me anywhere, so if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to take a moment and caffeinate my brain…
Mmmm… better.Â
I’m getting too old for those late nights, especially since my body insists on waking up early regardless of what time I go to sleep – that makes for a slightly sleepy ‘Manda… but a slightly sleepy ‘Manda who’s still in a surprisingly good mood.
I’ll fully admit to being someone who’s annoyingly cheerful on Monday mornings, and just annoyingly cheerful in general. That’s not to say that I’m never in a bad mood – I stress, get overwhelmed, have “fluffy” days, and want nothing more than to strangle people like my happy self at times like those – but I’ve noticed that times like those are becoming fewer and farther between, especially over the last little while.
And it’s funny because not a lot has changed in my day-to-day life. I mean, sure – I started seeing someone and took the first steps towards switching over to a career that I’m truly passionate about – but “seeing someone” means only being able to see him on Skype, and juggling my new studies on top of work, blogging, and maintaining a semblance of a social life has left me feeling like a headless chicken on more than one occasion. No, the only thing that really changed is my attitude and perspective…
In case you missed it from my link love post yesterday, I wanted to draw your attention to one article in particular that talks about one surprising habit of happy people. Gratitude. Happy people practice gratitude more frequently than their unhappier counterparts. They don’t necessarily lead lives that are easier or better than anyone else’s, they just learn to be grateful regardless of the circumstances.
Have you ever caught yourself thinking “Oh, I’ll be happy when: I lose 5 pounds… I get that promotion… my crush notices me… etc”? We’re all guilty of it. Society is constantly bombarding us with the idea that if we had this, looked like that, lived here, travelled there, we’d be happy. The idea that we can be happy with who we are and what we have seems so… outdated.
Why? Because it’s associated with the idea that accepting ourselves is somehow settling, the idea that we’re not living up to our full potential if we’re not constantly chasing something. But what we end up constantly chasing, and what continues to evade us, is happiness – because no matter how much stuff we get, how much weight we lose, and how many destinations we knock off our travel bucket list, we continue to want more.
And it’s okay to want more, but not at the cost of making ourselves miserable with what we already have;Â because what we already have is a multitude of blessings. You woke up this morning? Blessing. You took a breath? Blessing. You turned on your computer? Blessing. You sat down to breakfast? Blessing. The problem is that we tend to take blessings like that for granted and fail to notice them because we have our sights set on “bigger and better” things. Well, that and it’s a lot easier to be unhappy than it is to be happy.
It’s true. Happiness takes a lot of work. It takes making a conscious effort to shift our focus from the negative to the positive. It takes learning to see the good in any situation. It takes not taking seemingly mundane everyday experiences for granted. And it takes time.Â
When I first started practicing gratitude and trying to focus on positives, I felt ridiculous. Everything felt forced and mechanical. Write down three things I’m grateful for? Ugh. Well, having a roof over my head (I guess), my family (but that’s so cliche), and… huh… what else… oh, my health (again, I guess). Yeah, it was bad. But I kept on doing it regardless of how stupid I felt, and that’s the key.
You know how they say that it takes ~21 days to make something a habit? I have no idea how long it took me, but with time I noticed that what once felt forced and mechanical became more spontaneous and natural. I started having a much easier time picking up on small blessings and finding the good in bad situations, and my overall mentality shifted – I became happier. Again, that’s not to say that I never find myself in a funk, but those funks are a lot shorter and a lot easier to get myself out of.
So if I could offer you one piece of advice, it would be to start practicing gratitude – make a conscious effort to notice your blessings and make it a daily practice to write those blessings down. You may feel like it doesn’t do anything at first, but see it through and I promise you that you’ll notice a shift in how you feel. And now if you’ll excuse me… it’s time for breakfast 😀
Have a happy Monday, friends! Choose to make it a good one 😉
. – . – . – .
What do you think about the idea that happiness is a choice?
What are three things that you’re grateful for?
Great posy pretty lady!:) I’m annoyingly happy most of the time too and love the gratitude principle. In college I started a list in a notebook called “Things I just love” and wrote out over 100 things that year and have been adding to the list the last eight years. Yet, my favorite thing about it was that now I can read back through things I wrote years ago and experience the gratitude all over again. Ironically, I started the list during the worst state of depression I ever went through, and since, it has been such a treasure for me . Gratitude is a great way to overcome anything! Thanks for shark g this with us:)
You said it very well. Happiness does take work, and it starts with gratitude. I loved that link because it was the number one and only thing. I’ve done the gratitude journal before and it’s a great idea. What starts as routine and monotonous becomes something else entirely, something you’re grateful to be doing. While happiness does require work and more effort, it’s so much better in the end. Great post.
Great message in this post! That article you mentioned really stuck out to me specifically regarding that. Gratitude is something I personally need to practice, and be appreciative of what I have. So often its easy to be disheartened or be wanting more, but we fail to step back and appreciate what we DO have. Three things I’m grateful for? A roof under my head, a mum who regardless of going through tough times- keeps up a tough exterior and pancakes galore 😉
A roof -under- your head? You guys really DO do things all backwards down there in Australia 😛
Clearly under. You mean you have one OVER your head :s
I absolutely think happiness is a choice but I also think it’s not an easy choice to make, and just because someone wants to be happy, it doesn’t necessarily mean they are going to get it right away. It took me a very long time to get to where I’m at now, but I made a lot more progress with my happiness once I decided to really devote myself to changing my thoughts. The more effort you put in, the more reward you get out!
Just the right timing for a post about gratitude! I definitely agree happiness is a choice and one that sadly too many people don’t make. Yes, there are times in life where focussing on the the good and bright aspects isn’t easy. But in everyday life it doesn’t take too much of an effort to change our point of view. I just worked with a colleague who constantly (!) saw only the downsides in a way that was hilarious in a sad way. But it proved once more how much my own views have changed and I wouldn’t want it any other way.
While I do have my grumpy days there are others when I make myself laugh with seeing the positives in even the most ridiculous happenings. Point in case [to name just one]: I recently forgot my umbrella when heading for a walk and got into a heavy downpour forcing me to return to my appartment. Yet I considered it a blessing in disguise. Here’s why: I’d noticed how crowded with other people my original walking route would have been due to a fair talking place that day. Choosing another route allowed me to really relax, think and listen to a great podcast on the way. It might sound silly but I needed a relaxing walk that day – not pushing through the crowds :).
Three things I’m grateful for right now:
a bed with freshly washed rose-scented duvets (aah!)
a delicious dinner waiting for me
and – most importantly – amazing blogger friends.
I couldn’t agree more with you. Especially in the last few weeks or so. While I’m making tons of progress in my happiness, gratitude and love, I’ve become somewhat frustrated over the negativity of those around me. At first, I thought okay, I’ll just ignore it, but it won’t make things better, right? Then I thought of love and happiness as a projection on others. If I continue to emanate happiness, it would eventually reflect in the way others act around me, right!? Well, I’m hoping that’s the case because these people are family and I can’t necessarily distance myself from them! 😉
I’m grateful for my job.
I’m grateful my parents haven’t forced me to leave yet. 😉
I’m grateful for my coworkers
And that’s just 3, I could go on and on and on… Blessed!!!
Might I add, I’m grateful to have found you through blogging! 🙂
Gah! I can completely relate to that. I find it so, SO difficult to be around people who want to do nothing but complain. It used to frustrate me to no end, but like you said… now I just try to be extra happy and hope that it’ll rub off on them. And if not, then hope my positivity gets annoying and they stop coming to me to complain 😉
It’s definitely a choice – and I totally agree that we have a tendency to undermine all of the little things we can be grateful for. Whenever we look outside of ourselves for satisfaction or “happiness” we’ll never feel fulfilled because none of that is real. It just takes a shift in thinking from a state of ‘lacking’ to operating from a state of abundance for the lights to turn on. Life becomes BIGGER (and more tolerable!) when we choose to make that mental shift.
I’ve been made to keep a gratitude journal in the past, and I really wish I had kept it up. There really is so much to be thankful for. Remembering these things puts everything in perspective.
I like the last picture: all happiness DOES really depend on a good, leisurely breakfast. Haha.
Thank you for this, Amanda!
While I’ve made it a habit to notice the small things and *try* to be cheerful and content day-to-day, sometimes I fail miserably. Lately I’ve been comparing my life to others’, wondering when I’ll earn more, find a job I’m passionate about, afford my dream home, etc., and it just brings me down. Yoga has helped, as have my lunchtime nature walks/chats during my break at work, but I really think writing down my blessings daily will help even more. I truly love my life and the people in it, and I have more than I need (& deserve sometimes) and more than many others have.
Again, thank you for this kick in the butt. 🙂 Your posts always resonate with me, but this one in particular came at the best time.
Comparison is SO toxic, and probably one of the biggest thieves of joy. I know it’s a hard trap to break out of, but I’ve found that it helped to be happy for others and their achievements rather than use that as an excuse to get down on myself. It’s just all about switching your perspective to a more positive one 🙂
I think it makes perfect sense and that happiness isn’t always going to just show up in your life. Yes, there are the spontaneous moments in a day that do make you happy – BUT, to live a life of happiness, I think you have to become aware of the choices you are making and what you have in your life. Writing in my gratitude journal helps me to stay ground. Three things I am grateful for: being able to have an education to help me reach further in life; my love, Matt; and having so much around me to keep me happy throughout the day, whether it is friends/family, tea lattes, or a nap on the couch.
Happiness is definitely a choice – at least, in my opinion. Instead of stressing out about negative things, it’s important to focus on the positives and move on from the obstacles.
I’m grateful for my family, health, and experiences.
LOVEEEE SO MUCH LOVE! AHH I couldn’t have said this better myself!! I love the idea of writing down three things, I will start doing that!! THE MIND is POWERFUL and everyone has the ability to CHANGE their mindset and make things more positive! YES YES YES! GAH This post made me so happy inside! Thank you! 🙂
I cannot give a a bigger fist pump to this!
I’ve actually experienced “choosing happiness” very recently. Two weeks ago I struggled with some of the worst insomnia I had ever experienced. The reason? Most likely that I was thinking way too much about how tired I was, how upset I was, so everything was just negative, which caused me to be more sleepless at night. It was like a vicious cycle. But then I started to think about how grateful I am to have a family that was there to literally sit with me and pray with me until I could sleep. To have a comfortable bed. To still be on summer break and not actually have to worry about going to school yet. Then I started to sleep better. And now I thank God every day for a good night’s rest. Even during the day, I feel more positive and more sensitive toward others. It’s amazing how things happen like that. I definitely will have more sleepless nights and cranky days in my future, but hopefully far less 🙂
Awwr girl thanks for sharing that story! Getting upset over the fact that you can’t sleep is kind of like shooting yourself in the foot, eh? The added stress and worry just ends up keeping you up even later – I’ve definitely gone through my fair share of that.
It’s definitely no fun, but what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right? 😉
Happiness is definitely a choice, and sometimes it’s one of the hardest choices we can make. Wallowing if often much, much easier. I try to make light out of bad situations by laughing at them. Things are usually much funnier than we give them credit for.
Great post! It is sad happiness takes so much more energy and dedication than being negative; however, the dedication is so worth it. I have been trying to find and see the light in times I think I’m just going into a big hole, especially with my knee issues. Whenever things seem to be getting worse, I try to sit down and just focus on what’s getting BETTER. It does help but it’s a frustrating process! Three things I am grateful for: Elmo, blogging friends, and watching jeopardy every night with my mom. <3
I 100% agree that happiness is a choice. No one’s life is perfect and we all have things that we wish we could change, but people can still choose to be happy with what they have now, rather than always looking forward to some distant goal or dream. I have to admit though, I’m not very good at practicing gratitude for my daily blessings. Anytime I try it ends up being how you described the first time you did it! Definitely something for me to work on in the future…..or right now, because that’s your next question 😉
I’m grateful for:
1. Parents that are always willing to help out when I need it. They’re coming over (on my mom’s holiday, no less) this afternoon to help us put up curtains and pictures to finish off our apartment.
2. When a certain pug of mine cuddles with me on the couch at the end of a long day. You can’t NOT be grateful for that adorable face of his.
3. That my building manager has contacted maintenance, who will be coming tonight to fix my shower 😉 It broke this morning, so I will be grateful to have that working again!
I think that’s why a lot of people give up on practicing gratitude – because it feels so.darn.stupid at first. I can’t even tell you how many times I rolled my eyes at what I was doing, but it’s like anything else… if you want the benefits, you have to work for it.
Happiness is definitely a choice. You can choose to look on the bright side or choose to focus on all the negative things going wrong in your life. I read something about relationships the other day that said instead of focusing on negative things your partner does, focus on the positive things he/she does. I easily become bitter at a loved one in my life, but focusing on the positive rather than the negative has helped me a ton on putting bitterness behind me. And I’m totally guilty of saying “If only I had this…” I would be happy finally. If only my hair was longer/thicker, my abs were flatter more defined, blah blah blah. Gratitude truly is key. Instead of wishing I had longer hair, I try to instead be thankful for the hair I have. I’m thankful for my body and what it does for me. Perfect post for today and a great reminder for the week. Thanks 🙂
Such a great post, Amanda! I totally agree. It’s easy to get caught up wanting more, or trying to “find” happiness, when so much of it truly is a choice!
Isn’t it funny how we wake up early regardless of when we go to bed? I am so the same way and rather tired today! lol…I am forever a glass half full, positive and grateful person. It is an innate quality of mine and the older I get, the more it comes into play, and the more I notice how unique I am. Life has many ups and downs and the key to getting through it all, at least in my opinion, is realizing what you have, finding the positive in even the worst of situations and realizing how much worse it can always be…I even had my son make a gratitude list last year (he is 9) because I was tired of hearing of everything he wants that he DOESN’T HAVE. When he sat down to make the list, his thoughts and priorities became straightened out nicely.
I definitely think that a lot of it comes down to getting older and figuring out what really matters and what’s just fluff. But starting your son on practicing gratitude early is a really great idea – I’ll probably have my [future] kids being grateful for bottles and naps 😆
I love your Minnie Mouse mug 🙂 And I love the post too – I am definitely going to start journaling daily about 3 things I am grateful for 🙂
1) That my knees being injured taught me that I love running and I am no longer burned out
2) That I didn’t make the soccer team because it wasn’t fun for me any more and I wouldn’t have been able to take time off for my knees
3) That I have God in my life and I know He will see me through anything 🙂
I had a really hard time with this when I was in high school. Maybe some of it was my age, but I always wanted to be prettier, skinnier, more talented, etc. and I didn’t step back to realize all that I did have. Now that I look bad, I wish I would have enjoyed myself more, because I really did have so much!
Gratitude is something that I try and practice daily, even if it’s just in the form of a single, “I’m so glad for” thought. Thanks for sharing your thoughts – this was another great post!
P.S. Totally sang along in my head with Ariel.
Ohhhh the things I would tell my younger self if I could just go back in time. Of course, my younger self would never believe me, but it would be worth a shot 😉
Love love love this post! Happiness is a daily choice. There is always something to be grateful for even though you might not see it at first. One of my fav sayings is “you can either laugh or cry”. I’d rather be laughing any day!
And once again you nailed this post. I think you’re absurdly right- not much has to change to make you happy. I keep thinking about this past summer in comparison to all of my other summers on the boat and realize how much happier I was. Nothing changed, but instead of saying “oh I should go make more friends” or “I need to go run 8 miles” I was just content with the way things were. I always feel like I’m forcing myself to be happy because I “should” be, but the way you’re describing the true way to find happiness is what has worked in my life before. Sometimes we just need that little reminder 🙂
I definitely agree that happiness isa a choice. I used to write down 3 things I was grateful for every night when I was living in MN and found that I was really happy during that time- probably because I was reflecting and grateful for things, like you said. Thanks for the reminder for me to get back into the habit of writing that down every night, because it really does do wonders for your happiness. Have a great Labor Day!
Thanks for this post — I especially appreciate you sharing that recording gratitude at first felt mechanical. I have made several attempts at keeping a gratitude journal, but have quit each time after a few days because it felt too unnatural and like I was forcing things too much. It’s good to know your experience was similar to mine in this way — so much so that I think I will try again! Thanks!
Oh girl believe me… it was a HUGE mental battle and felt completely ridiculous at first. But definitely keep at it! The changes are subtle so you may not even notice them at first, but if you take a moment and really stop to think about it in a few weeks, you’ll definitely notice yourself feeling more positive 🙂
I’m so with you on getting too old to stay up late! Like you, I wake up early no matter how late I stay up! I actually like being up early so I can have some quite time to myself before my son gets up. It’s relaxing and enjoyable to enjoy my coffee and check emails etc.
I agree that happiness is chosen and definitely used to gauge my happiness more on material things that I do now. When I decided to quite my job to be a stay at home mom a lot of those material things had to go and I learned just how unimportant they are in our lives. I mean sure it’s nice to get new thing but I’m just as happy if not happier with just my little family 🙂
I am greatful for that I´m alive and healthy today
I am greatful for that I have a job to go to everyday
And today..
I am greatful for having a day off to relax and just be..
Totally agree about gratitude! I take time to gratitude journal daily. They actually have tons of apps now so that makes it easy! Love this post 🙂
Very true post, and great for a Monday morning. I definitely need a reminder once and awhile to show more gratitude and appreciation. I am grateful to have legs that will carry me through miles and miles of running, grateful to have hot coffee in the mornings, and grateful to live in such a wonderful neighborhood with awesome neighbors!
Coffee is always a good thing to be grateful for
Life would be so much sleepier and less pleasant without it.
Well I think you should go with the thought flow always because this post was truly amazing to read. It certainly is a fine line between wanting more and being content with what you have. I find myself struggling with this with my job and living at home. While it may be cliche to be grateful for your family, I like cliche 🙂 happy Monday girly! xo
Beautiful post Amanda! I need to remind myself to show more gratitude. May as well start today. Right now I am grateful for a day off work to relax but I am also grateful to have a job and be able to support myself and my passions. Grateful for my fitfam and all of they inspiration they provide me with. Today I am feeling incredibly lucky 🙂
It’s only Monday and this one might already be my favorite post of the week. Thank you Amanda! I am sure I will show a lot more gratitude from now on. Especially for what I accomplished and who I became. We tend to be so nice to others and so critical when it comes to ourselves. A big step to my own happiness was the decision to not aim for weight loss anymore. Since then I feel a lot more confident in my own skin, funny thing. Another one just happened recently when I found the guts to throw the towel and change my study path towards something I love to do. Being happy is quite some work sometimes 🙂
!!! Oh girl, I -love- hearing about people pursuing their dreams! Changing my majors is something I wish I did before I finished my degree, so I’m super stoked for you <3
Thank you! I am sure that you are still able to pursue your dreams, though it might need a bit more time. May I ask what your major was?
It was psychology.
I’m obsessed with the Little Mermaid picture, hah. I definitely agree with you in that everything in life is what you make of it–you can choose to see the good in it, or you can choose to see the bad in it, or you can accept that both are there but keep chugging on with your life. I’m a firm believer that everything is not necessarily inherently good or bad, but thinking makes it so. Obviously something like a death in the family would be categorized as more of the “bad,” but there’s good to be learned from an experience like that as well. Three things I’m grateful for are (1) a body that allows me to run, regardless of how fast or how far, (2) parents who have given me everything and asking for nothing in return (other than me trying my best at everything I do), and (3) the blogging community and the support and friendship I’ve found in it. 🙂 Have a happy Monday!
I think happiness is a choice. Similarly, I think sadness is. These past few days, I have been sad. My hunger levels have been uncontrollable. I know that if I 100% honoured my hunger levels and ate more, I’d be happy but because I am too scared to, I choose to be sad. Every morning, when we wake up up we make (within seconds) a million choices: the choice to love whom we love, the choice to continue living life as we have, the choice to even continue living life (a choice I am thankful many people make every day). We also decide, or choose, whether or not to be happy.
I have found in the past that the only time(s) I feel 100% happy is when I do for others. That is my form of gratitude. I have been given so much, and the only way I feel I can give thanks it by giving back.
So yes, I completely agree.
Great post :))
Oh girl, I can completely relate to my happiness depending a lot on how well I’m taking care of myself. If I’m hungry or not eating enough? Misery. I swear I could win a million dollars and my first thought would be “Okay, but can I have a sandwich please?” Don’t do that to yourself. I know it’s scary, but so is the thought of wasting so much of your life by -choosing- to be miserable.
I totally think happiness is a choice! You can choose to be unhappy or you can choose to be happy. It depends on your attitude in any given situation. And I agree, happiness so much easier than the alternative. For me personally, I have so many good things in my life that the happiness outweighs the happiness, so I always try to be positive as much as possible and be thankful for the good in my life (my husband, my family, my friends, my health, my life).
this is the hardest to practice for me. I tend to be drawn to those thoughts of if this or if that before I can let myself feel truly content. it is a bad habit and I know that. I think this is the one mind hurdle I am still actively working on and knowing I need to work on
This post is spot-on, Amanda…even though practicing gratitude isn’t always easy, that shift in attitude is enough to bring about happiness. It’s the little things that we often take for granted that tend to make the biggest difference to our day-to-day life. Everyone goes through hardships in life but it ultimately boils down to what each person makes out of them: either you can wallow in self-pity or be grateful for the things which ARE going good for you. On that note, 3 things that come to mind right now are:
1) I’m grateful my mom made me dinner- all I have to do is heat it up
2) I’m grateful that I can have an early night
3) I’m grateful that I’m able to read such inspiring posts
Have a great Monday :)!
And I’M grateful for knowing such amazing women. Love you tonnes lady <3
Oh, and Mom's meals? Ah.mazing
I honestly couldn’t agree with you more. Happiness is something we need to choose for ourselves…it won’t just ‘happen’ unless one makes it happen. It’s so easy to focus on all the bad or negative, it seems like that is almost an easy default to have. But to truly look at the things you have and feel thankful and grateful for those things is so easy to gloss over. We become used to what we have and lose our ability to see those things as a gift.
I’m personally grateful for my family and friends who stand by me no matter what. For the ability to keep fighting for my health and not give up no matter how hard it is or how many obstacles I face. I’m thankful to continue to learn and grow about what really is important in life and have that continue to be evident in the way that I choose to live my life.
Oh happiness is definitely a choice! Something about EDs is also a choice as well…. and I’m sure people will be ready to bite my head off for saying that. I’m not exactly saying that getting an ED was a choice… but when I think of my own experience, I remember making choices all the time that would lead me to getting skinnier, for example. I remember my first thought about losing weight and although it evolved into something darker and scarier, I was always aware that what I was doing wasn’t actually “healthy” — it was in response to a breakup that left me feeling like shit, so in essence, I was trying to show the world that I didn’t care about myself anymore. All a choice. Of course, when it came to choosing recovery, I do remember how difficult it was and that it wasn’t simply as easy as simply eating more and not exercising. Definitely won’t downplay the mental madness there!
But yes, in general, happiness is a choice. This weekend is a great example for me actually: I have a new teaching job and don’t feel prepared for it at all and am super overwhelmed — excited but stressed! I was thinking of staying in my shell all weekend, but instead, I made the choice to spend time with my boyfriend and it really helped me unwind — plus, it’s always nice to see him 🙂 Life is alllll about choices.
There’s definitely a mental aspect there; and even with something like happiness, I think some people are just born with a naturally happier disposition. But again, it’s never 100% genetic or environmental – there’s always, always and interplay of the two, and that’s where a lot of choice comes in.
And congrats on the new teaching job, lady! Newness is always a little intimidating, but it’s going to be amazing – you’ll see!
I absolutely agree that happiness is a choice. Not all the time – I definitely got hit by things that are sad and horrible (a loss i.e.) – but it truly is how you stand up after you fell. When Dad died, I could have just keeping stuck in my self-pity and horrible life, but obviously I love life and I knew my father wanted me to be happy again.
Gratitude is a big factor of happiness, that I am convinced about – I practise it every day and I can totally see a change in my attitude towards life!