Today was… different.
Not in a bad way, but in an “Okay. Where’s the real Amanda, and what have you done with her?” kind of way. It was like… did the sun rise in the west, or what?
[Have you seen this goofy face? Slightly crazy, mostly harmless. Approach freely]
The strangeness started this morning, when I opened my big brown eyes, glanced at the time, and was shocked to see the numbers 6 and 30 staring back at me. I slept in. Yes, I realize that the terms “6:30 AM” and “sleeping in” don’t logically fit in the same sentence (unless you need to be somewhere super early, which I didn’t), but for someone who doesn’t normally sleep past 5:30, that extra hour is a pretty impressive feat. Impressive, but strange; and that was only the beginning.
After getting over my initial shock, my attention was immediately drawn to a certain bodily sensation, or rather, the lack of it. And no, we’re not going the bathroom humor route here – we try to keep things clean around these parts. It was my hunger – there was no trace of it. None whatsoever. I normally wake up more than ready and willing to eat, but this morning? Nothing.
I poked my stomach. I prodded. Hellloooooo? Are you in there? Silence.
I was at a loss. I can’t even remember the last time I had to deal with that kind of thing, and I had no idea what to do. Do I eat? Do I not eat? I know I should eat. But I’m not hungry. Erm. Help? 😕 Eventually, I did decide to eat, which is when another strange thing happened – I didn’t feel like having my beloved almond butter and chocolate pudding oats. Instead I had…
😯 By this point, I was starting to question whether my brain had been mysteriously snatched away in the middle of the night. I mean, I can understand sleeping in and a lack of hunger, but not wanting to have chocolate in the morning? Who AM I?! And while we’re on the topic of food, today was the first day in I-don’t-even-know-how-long that I actually craved something savory when snack time rolled around. See, in my mind, “snack time” is synonymous with “satisfy the sweet tooth time”. But not today, apparently…
[Ezekiel sesame bread, toasted and topped with avocado and sea salt. A nectarine]
I blame Matt for this one. Just the other day, he pictured some toast topped with avocado as part of his daily eats, which reminded me how much I love the combo, so I had to have some myself. And speaking of Matt, I have him to thank for yet another reason that today deviated from the norm…
I got a package!
I won a giveaway that he hosted a little while back, and today I finally got my loot.
[Golden Flax Seeds from Tropical Traditions]
I love getting packages in the mail (who doesn’t?!), but it rarely ever happens. Sad face. The only things I get in the mail on a regular basis are bills or speeding tickets, neither of which I enjoy. But boxes filled with goodies? Now that is something that I’d like to see on a more regular basis 😀
Another thing that’s going to be making more regular appearances? Chia seeds in smoothies…
I know I’ve hated on the little buggers in the past, but I’ve gotta admit that I’m a big fan of them when they’re all blended up. I decided to try something different with my vanilla tofu protein smoothie and added about a tsp. of chias added in. I loved the goopy-ness that the chias gave it. Big fan.
And with that, things pretty much went back to normal. My hunger returned…
[Pumpkin Chili Mexican Scramble]
My chocolate craving kicked in…
[Chocolate pudding & Cookie Dough Ball. Chocolate Chai tea]
Everything was right with the world once more; but who knows what tomorrow will bring.
. – . – . – .
What do you do when you find your hunger absent at times you would normally eat? Or when you find it absent for most of the day? I’d actually like to talk more about this in an upcoming post. I just have to get my thoughts sorted first.
Aaah boy, absent hunger is the pits! I tend to eat anyway, but I’ll wait a tiny bit longer – say, if I normally have dinner at 7.30, I’ll give it til 8.00, then just eat anyway, cos I know I NEED to eat. It’s frustrating but one of those things I guess.
Triangle toast squares! That takes me bak to childhood 🙂
I hate that feeling. Usually I’ll just eat anyway at my normal times or just hold off. It’s awful because I know I need to eat, but my body says no.
Glad you got them 🙂
I usually just eat when its a meal or snack time. With the amount of running I do, I know I need it!
A few weeks ago the exact same thing happened to me. There were around three days when my hunger and appetite were completely gone. I was at a loss of what to do. I ate some to make sure I can keep going, but I wasn’t hungry which was so weird. I mean I’m hungry all the time! Sometimes when I’m hungry and I don’t eat right away, my hunger disappears. I don’t feel top-notch but it does go away. I think that could be it since you said you slept an hour more than the usual. I’m glad everything’s back to normal! :] Oh and I usually use flax seeds in my smoothies, but chia seeds are great too. One last thing, I made your vanilla tofu protein pudding today. It was sweet and yummy. Definitely loved it!
ahhh invasion of the body snatchers! =) I’m banking you’re feeling back to normal by now <3
the photo of your smoothie… let me just say that i want to stick my finger in it and steal a taste. it doesnt look like a photo =)
hope you have a rockin weekend darling!
I am usually hungry for brekkie, in fact i find if im up an hour and havent eaten my body goes crazy. I know in the past when I havent been hungry i usually eat something like dried fruit to keep my energy up
Oh my I have not had avocado in so so long… yay for fearing fats for all of these years! Putting it on toast looks like a simple, ideal and delicious way to bring it back into my life!
And this definitely happens to me. As you know, I have some issues with breakfast so when I am not hungry for it, it’s so easy not to eat ANYTHING in the morning. This gives my disordered brain a happy boost… but I know this is wrong. I must eat breakfast in the morning for the obvious benefits it provides.
I do love your alternative breakfast combo though 🙂
I never know whether or not to eat when my hunger is absent. It’s a mind game that’s played far more often than I’d like it to be played! I’ve been told that eating “intuitively”–honing in on my body’s cues and ONLY eating when they’re telling me to, is the way to go. But I’ve also been told that it’s important to nourish my body regardless of whether or not I’m hankering for food. I usually opt for the latter, mainly because I’ve learned that skipping meals and snacks doesn’t typically end well.
Baked apple oats sound like a pretty fab alternative breakfast! I may have to give ’em a whirl…And that pumpkin chili scramble? I think it might be lunch today. It looks so good, I’m positive I could eat it any time…whether I’m hungry or not. 🙂
I’ve been having this lately too! I wake up and I’m not hungry! Um, weird? I always (well use to always) wake up hungry. I’ve just been waiting a bit before eating. I have coffee, read some blogs, and then my hunger usually kicks in. But still, I’m much more comfortable when I wake up ready for breakfast! 🙂
oh amanda,,,i’m so ashamed..still no exercise and i’ve been binging at night badly…(p.s..is it normal to eat a few servings at least of chocoalate every day?)…
also, i bought the sunbutter crunch enjoy life granola bars…what do u think of them?….they were on sale for slightly cheaper and i decided to take the chance…
I like the Enjoy Life granola bars, and chocolate even more 😀
I will get the cocoa next time. The sunbutter crunch are good (but I binged again late last night and ate a couple). I don’t understand…it must be emotional cause I’m eating more than enough, not depriving myself of chocolate or “bad” ingredients, not exercising…so upset with myself.
Also, I’m having a tough time. I’m on disability money assitance for a bit now…but its barely anything and I barely make enuf to cover my rent, studnet loans, gas, food, phone bill, and car insurance. My computer broke and i can’t afford a new one. And i might have to cut cable. I’m living with another person and find it tough with the fridge (one shelf and only half a cupboard…crossing paths, etc etc). I love the “good” greek yogurt and cottage cheese and other type items but since i go thru those tubs in like 2 days, i can’t afford all that money…so i have to buy the “crap” stuff now to scrape by…so ….just ugh, u know? I have faith it will get better. But…
my mother is fed up with me and I’m so sad. She can’t help me (she refuses) money wise anymore. They’ve all given up on me (except for my doctor) and me.
Hi Amanda! I love your blog, first of all, and I’m thrilled you’re back (I also read your old blog!). Your food pictures are stunning!! Question: where do you get that Tetley Chocolate Chai tea?? I live in Toronto, and while there are lots of other Tetley tea flavours, that one seems to be missing. It sounds heavenly — like all your other meals, especially the oatmeal breakfasts and yogurt messes!
Thanks Leslie! I picked up the tea at Safeway, but I guess not all of them carry it because when I went to a different location, they didn’t have it. Just shop around and see if you come across it!
When I usually wake up, I’m not very hungry (probably because I eat so late!!), but I know breakfast is important and it sure does taste good, so I eat. If you do not eat within 60-90mins of waking up, your body goes into starvation mode, so I try to eat within then.
When it hits a time I usually sit down for a meal, and I’m not hungry, sometimes I wait a little while, but usually I just eat. If it’s been a while since my last meal, I’ll likely be ready for another one. Sometimes hunger doesn’t manifest itself in grumbles. A lot of the time, once I start eating, I realize how hungry I really am. If I worked out that day, I definitely eat regardless of whether or not my stomach is roaring at me. You could always settle for a snack, and see if that activates your appetite for more.
I will not try to put words in your mouth, or anyone else’s, but I think people with a history of ED don’t like to eat unless they feel the sensation of hunger. It’s as if eating without feeling stomach pain means you’re eating for no purpose. I don’t know if you ever feel this way, but I know I’ve felt this way before. So if it’s anybody’s consolation, just know that I’ve sat down many times to a full meal without having actual hunger pains, and a lot of other people do too. Don’t feel guilty if you do this, but instead feel proud that you were able to beat the guilty feelings. *End speech.*
By the way, I am in love with the color combination of your avocado toast and nectarine snack. Colorful food makes me happy. 🙂
I definitely felt that way in the early parts of my recovery, but I got over it since there were so many times that I had to eat without hunger. Now, I definitely don’t think that eating without hunger is a waste, especially since I love food, I just wonder about the whole “intuitive eating” aspect of it.
Yup, 630 is sleeping in for me too 🙂 Im just an early riser!
I am usually starved the morning after a soccer game (since my game is at 830 at night and I dont get home till 10, I rarely eat before bed) but this week I woke up and wasnt hungry until 9am!! I was in total shock. I rolled with it though and just made sure to have an especially large lunch 🙂
is it sad that 6:30 is sleeping in for me too? i like it though–i get so much more done (or at least i tell myself that). when i’m not hungry (which is very unusual) i try to just eat anyway, like you did. sometimes i think our bodies are so overworked and stressed that normal functions like sleep and hunger get affected in weird ways.
I am glad all returned later in the day.
Like I have said in the past, I still don’t get hungry. I get dizzy. I get irritable. I get light headed.
I don’t get hungry.
One day.
I’m usually always hungry for snacks and mealtimes! But even if I’m not, I still eat. I’m in such a habit of eating at mealtime/snacktime that I can’t not eat! 😛 But when I do that, it tends to throw my hunger off for the entire day. So maybe it would just be better to listen to just wait until I’m hungry to eat? I don’t know!
Congrats on winning the giveaway! I’ve still never won one! I have terrible luck haha.
I know this post had a lot more to it than what I’m about to ask….but you get speeding tickets in the mail??
Haha radar, yeah 🙂
Weird!
The body is one weird thing isn’t it?! It totally confuses me!
If I’m not hungry when I should be it try to eat a little something because I know I need to but then later on in the day I just can’t stop eating…all the hunger that wasn’t there just goes BAM and hits me like a train! Sooo weird!
I’ve never tried chia..I want to, but I’m scared that I’ll pay quite a bit for them and not like them..and I don’t know, they look funny hehe!
😆 I wasn’t immediately sold on chia, either, and the baggie I have has been sitting around forever. I thought I’d never get through them, but I find they’re perfect for smoothies 😀
Sometimes I have very little appetite, but I always make sure I eat something even if its just a small snack to keep my sugar levels up, which is important for my health and general mood. I love chia seeds. I’m all out at the mo, must chnge that! 🙂
I try not to force myself to eat when I’m not hungry but then I really need to eat at the moment to keep my energy intake high! I usually try and just go with the flow and make sure that when I do eat its something substantial. One thing I never skip is breakfast, even if i have to wait for an hour I know I need something in me that early in the day. I love avocado an toast too, so simple but delicious!
Whenever I wake up and I’m not 100% hungry, I just eat anyway haha.
I skipped breakfast once this way and it was the worst decision I’d ever made… 🙁
I tend to force myself to eat even if I’m not particularly hungry – unless of course the cause of my lack of hunger is a stomach flu or something – in which case I eat a whole lot less for obviouse reasons. Even if I’m not hungry I always eat SOMETHING, even if it’s less then what I would normaly eat,
The exact same thing has been happening to me last week. I am waking up an hour later than I am used to and I am not feeling hungry at all! It is so strange! I want my morning hunger back! 🙂
My actions in such situations depend a lot on the way I feel. If I’m just bored, I eat when I am supposed to, hungry or not. It is too hot, I switch from my normal meals to everything that’s very cold. If I am disappointed, I skip because nothing seems appealing. My brain rejects everything regardless of the signals coming from the stomach.
It is good that your usual cravings came back fast. Life is more beautiful with chocolate in it.
Your eats look fab, esp the avocado on toast! I do tend to eat even if I’m not hungry if it’s been a while since I last had some food! I’ve noticed that the longer I go without food, the less hungry I get….weird but eating something can actually help re-jig my hunger!
Im so happy you are back again! You are one girl I would miss deeply<3
I cant really comment too much now, since Im at work 😛 But I wanted to say "HI", and tell you that your food looks lovely and that Im happy you decided to eat! I often use lack of hunger as a "good" excuse to not eat- which ALWAYS backfires!! So I must and want to work on that!!
Have a wonderful day<333
I used to use it as an excuse not to eat as well, but now I actually get kind of nervous when I’m not hungry!