Hi friends! 😀
If you don’t mind, I’d like to go ahead and just consider us friends right from the get-go because, honestly, introducing myself to strangers always make me feel a bit awkward, and I can never really come up with anything good to say anyway…
Hi, my name is Amanda and I like to run?
Hi, my name is Amanda and I like to eat?
Do I have something stuck in my teeth? Gosh, how embarrassing…
Err… yeah, no. Besides, I already feel like I know so many of you from all the time I’ve spent stalking you as Lurky Lurkerson. Creepy, I know… BUT! over time [I hope] you’ll get to know me better as well, and some of you may even know me already… I used to blog over at a little place called . seek . before I kinda up and vanished one day…
Dun. Dun. Dun.
Erm. Sorry… There were a lot of things that contributed to my decision to stop writing (none of them involving my health), but I was too enamored with the blog world to abandon it completely, so I simply went back to playing the part of Lurky Lurkerson and became a stalker passive reader.
Now, the problem with being a lurker is that the very act of blog reading makes the act of blog writing that much harder to resist. After having to suffer through one too many occasions in which I’d do/see/eat something and think to myself “Omigosh, I can’t wait to tell my fellow bloggies!”, I’ve finally had enough; I’m throwing in the towel on the whole lurker bit and giving blogging another go. Yay!
Why come back with a new blog instead of returning to my old one? Well, because I wanted a clean slate; a brand new space that didn’t feel so heavy and weighed down by the issues of my past.
Yes, I struggled with an eating disorder.
No, I’m not trying to hide it.
Yes, I [more or less] recovered from it.
A lot of things have changed in the nine months that I’ve been gone, and when I read over my old posts, I no longer find myself able to relate to the girl who wrote them. Sure, I can remember her, but it feels like a different lifetime. A different me…
Erm. This is getting a bit heavy for a first date introduction… Sorry.
In any case, here I am again – living, laughing, and loving life. Please say you’ll have me back, and join me for the ride? Look! I’ll even share some cupcakes with you…
Or… at least I would have if they weren’t already gone. In my defense, however, I didn’t actually hoard them both for myself (like I kinda, sorta wanted to do… maybe). Instead, one was given to my lovely momma for Mother’s Day, and we enjoyed them together. I even let her get first dibs! She snatched up the tiramisu (drat it), but was kind enough to let me steal a bit of the frosting. Mothers. are. fantastic.
Okay, so maybe I have no cupcakes to offer… BUT! I do promise to share other tasty eats with you, as well as random daily happenings and the occasional more profound thought on life in general.
I hope to see you around and get to know you all a little bit better.
Question: None; but it would mean the world to me if you took a moment to say hello 😀
HEY! I was wondering where you had gone. I missed your blog when you stopped writing! I’m glad that you decided to come back. It sounds like you’re in a pretty good place right now and I’m excited to hear more about it. Welcome back gal!
You are beautiful.
I used to follow you and I’m amazed (and admittedly envious) at your re-entry into life.
I was doing much better last fall and actually making a re-emergence into life (job, increased weight and health). It turned a nose-dive in january and I’m again at a long-time low (lowest weight ever, orthorexic fears still lingering, lost in life, lost another job, no money security, depression, starting to get panic attacks, and IBS and digestive symptoms to the extreme).
I have failed. I know I was doing well. I really was…life was on track. January…it all fell apart again. Now, I’m at my lowest point and I’m lost. Very lost. I need to gain weight gradually again…and I find myself wanting someone to tell me what to eat, when , meal plan and snack ideas for specific days..something…so that I can take away the fears and wonders. My digestion is what is complicating it. Everything hurts and I need to be real slow and gradual at this point. But I keep knowing that the “number” is so low,…it will literally be months for me to gain (I have 30 lbs to gain ). And worse…all I do is sit all day. And no matter what anyone says, I know that is making my digestive symptoms worse. And its making my body worse too (severe muscle fatigue and ache and pain…not normal…I really literally sit all the time,,,and i know some stretch and frequent moving would help…I think I’m too depressed to bother).
You . Are . Beautiful.
And I hope I can reach this place you are at. But I’ve returned to the point of low, low, low…and I have far far to go.
I am so happy for you lovely. Very happy. You deserve happiness cause you are so so resilient and strong.
Running and eating?
Awesome.
hey miss amanda! just one word: LOVE!!!
xoxo
Mel
I remember your blog! & your random dissapearing!
Good to hear your back, and in a good stage of recovery. 🙂
Amanda – I was really worried that something had happened to you! I’m so glad that you are okay. Welcome back.
HI!!!! welcome back to the blogosphere! 😀
Can’t wait to read more!! <3
HELLOOO girl!! Seriously, stop making me drool on my keyboard with those cupcakes already! 😛
Of course I’ve been wondering what happened to you! I really missed reading your blog everyday and I can’t wait to follow your new (and improved?) blog!! Your pictures are beautiful by the way 🙂
I read your old blog all the time and was hoping that you’d come back to the blog world!! Welcome home!!
Can’t wait to see what you’ve got up your sleeve. In recovery, I bet you’ve got some awesome stuff!!
Cute blog post! Delicious looking cupcakes!
How could we forget you???
Well, I would say I’m happy you’re back – but I didn’t get a chance to read your previous blog! So I’m glad you started a new one and I look forward to getting to know you! 🙂
ahhh amanda! Im so happy your back 🙂
YAYYY you’re back!!! 🙂 I have seriously been waiting for your return, I used to LOVE your blog!
You look absolutely beautiful by the way 🙂 xxx
Oh and btw I am so happy you posted some pictures of yourself and you look absolutely beautiful.
Amanda, I kept checking your old blog for a few months after you disappeared and then I lost hope. But today something remembered me of you and I decided to check it again and I lost my breath for a while. And it is so strange because you wrote the new entry on seek just yesterday. Maybe some kind of old blogger friends telepathy 🙂 I missed you so much, your original posts and pictures of delicious meals. I used to have blog called beautiful obsessions but I disappeared too because I couldnt write about food anymore when deep inside I knew I wasn’t really healthy however hard I tried to make myself believe I was. But then I realized I couldn’t live without a blog, without a space to write about my feelings and thoughts, so I came back with another blog which may be less positive and healthy but more honest and me, without any censorship, kind of like my diary. I am still struggling but I will never stop fighting, some days are harder, some are better. You were always such an inspiration for me and I cannot really express how happy I am that you are back. I cannot wait to read your posts and admire your beautiful photography. I will always read your words.
Love, Nina
I am really happy that you are back!
I was wondering what you were doing, if you were ok, and it really makes me happy to see how good you are, happy and strong.
Can’t wait to read more about you 🙂
Hey Amanda,
I always loved your old blog and was sad to see you disappear… so good to see you’re back and doing well 🙂
Love, DameNoire
glad to see you back! 🙂
This nearly broguth me to tears, Amanda. You are one of the people whom I have so much to thank for. You were one of those who helped me realize that recovery is not only possible, but it something to fight for. Life is worth living, food is worth enjoying.
The fact that you’re back…. Oh. No. My emotions are too strong ( in a very positive way ) to even be able to express what that means to me.
I love you, I have missed you. Know that I’ve been thinking about you a lot, hoping that you were doing good over there. It’s such a relief to know that you have taken further steps towards a liberated and healthy life, the life you deserve.
<3
I am so glad you have returned. I was worried about you! I hope blogging brings you joy again. You’ll have tonnes of devoted readers; no doubt about that! Can’t wait to read more!
xoxo
Char
YOU’RE BAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!
Oh my goodness you have no idea how HAPPY I AM! haha… ok sorry, i’ll stop acting like a creep. but you started it, miss lurky lurkerson.
i was so worried about you, and i kept checking your blog for months, hoping you’d do a random post.. and now you’ve started a new one and i couldn’t be more pleased :p
i hope you are doing well love, and last i remember, you were job shadowing a nutritionist?? i hope that went well!
let us all know what you are up to!
xoxo i am so glad you are ALIIIIVE and BAAAAACK!
haha :p
Hi there (or welcome back). I love your blog and you are such a wonderful/fascinating blogger that it’s wonderful to read your words again. Can’t wait to read more.
(P.s. Go Canadian bloggers <3)
xoxo
Welcome back girl! I was wondering where the heck you disappeared to. 😉 I’ve missed your posts and I’m so glad you’re blogging again!
Oh my gosh, of course I remember you!!!!!!!! I just thought about you the other day (that sounds really creepy…) and was wondering where you had got to. I understand what you mean about not recognising the girl writing those old posts…I look back through my blog and it’s like someone else is writing…weird! SO excited to read 🙂
xxx
You’re back!!! SO exciting! Can’t wait to read your new bloggie 🙂
Hi Amanda,
I’ve been lurking your old blog for ages, and I loved to read all of your posts. I was so sad while you were gone! I am also recovering from an eating disorder and you have been so inspiring to me. I’m really glad you’ve started up a new blog, and I can’t wait to read and get to know you more!
-Laura
Ahhh I’m so glad youre back!!! I missed you!
Hi, found your blog from a post you left… cute blog title! Nice to meet you. 🙂
AMANDA YOU’RE BACK OH MY GOODNESS.
First smile of the day goes directly to you, Miss.
You have always inspired me, Amanda, and I am so glad to have you back, for our reading pleasure. And inspiration. And motivation. And sheer delight.
Welvome back to the blog world, Amanda!
I wondered where you disappeared to! I’m looking forward to your new posts 🙂
Yay!! So happy to see you back — I was wondering how you were doing! 😀
<3 <3
I am so glad you’re back!!!! I will be reading and loving it all still!!
-kimi
oh YAY!! glad to have you back!
YOU”RE BACK!!! 😀
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m so glad you are back!!!!
I look forward to read about your current food adventures!
hi… you got a little somethin somethin in your teeth… 🙂
i’m so glad you’re back! i’ve missed you, girlie! i got a new blog, too (i used to be at Sweet Treats and Vegan Eats). perhaps we were both just ready for a little change? i can’t wait to see what you have in store. i hope your life is filled with happiness!
Hello! 🙂 Or welcome back. Your blog was one of the first I started following so I definitely remember it. I am happy to see you in the blog world again and I am looking forward to your new posts.