. exactly who i’m supposed to be .

Hey guys!

Well, today marks Day 2 of not getting into bed until 1:30 AM, so I apologize in advance if my writing, in addition to my posting schedule, start becoming a little wonkier. I’m currently working on my second one of these …

… so that should help some. You’d think I’d be far more responsible at this age, but apparently not. I swear it’s like being 16 again – giddiness and all. Before you know it, I’ll be drawing hearts in the margins of all my notebooks and seeing how his last name looks with mine (please tell me you did that too). And no, I haven’t been doing it. And yes, I’ll be sharing more deets in time, but for now let’s just say that things are going very well with Mr. Starbucks 😉

Aaaaaaand moving right along. Breakfast this morning was pretty amazing…

Plain Greek yogurt – banana – strawberries – Kashi Cinnamon Harvest – Puffins – roasted almond butter.

My appetite is still kind of off, but I’m not too worried about it yet. I’m doing my best to get my meals in, even if that means that most of what I eat ends up looking a little bit like this…

Talk about the epitome of healthy, eh? (I’m Canadian… I’m allowed to say ‘eh?’) In my defense, though, I did eat a handful of baby carrots the other day, and maybe even a cherry tomato or two. I think I may even remember seeing a few leaves of lettuce making their way into my day at some point… but that might just be wishful thinking.

Who am I?

A girl who’s remembering what it’s like to live. Who’s remembering what it feels like to completely forget about food and exercise and veggies and whatever else it is that consumed my life for so many years. A girl who no longer feels like the most exciting part of her day is eating a delicious breakfast/lunch/dinner/snack (even though it’s something I still very much appreciate, especially on Sundays when someone else cooks 😉 )

One of the prompts for Day 5 of NHBPM was to get up on the old soapbox and rant about some health related issue. I tried, I honestly did – I got one foot up on the box and… that was pretty much it. You guys know how much I love to get a good rant in, but in all honesty, I couldn’t come up with anything today. I even sat there trying to get annoyed (because that’s a completely healthy and sane thing to do), but nope… nothing – not even the slightest eye twitch. It was a bit disappointing, actually. So, instead I’m going to leave you with something that someone said to me recently that more or less rocked my socks off…

… because you are – flaws, mistakes, weaknesses and all. I used to constantly beat myself up over the fact that I wasn’t who I thought I should be or where I thought I should be at a certain point in my life. I should have done that. I shouldn’t have done that. What if, what if, what if… then things would be different.

Except they wouldn’t. I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, and that as much as we like to think that we’re in control of what happens to us, ultimately we’re really not. Of course we can plan and choose to a certain extent, but life pretty much has the last say – it can change in the blink of an eye, and then all of our meticulous planning was pretty much for nothing. Daunting, but comforting… it kind of takes the pressure off.

So if you’re ever unhappy with the way things are, remember that it’s not something that’s written in stone. Life is fluid – it changes.  The way things are now isn’t necessarily the way things will always be – sometimes we just have to wait it out. But who you are at any given time is who you’re supposed to be. So accept your flaws. Accept your imperfections. Accept yourself.

Oh, and eat your veggie… or at least try to 😉