Hi friends! Happy Monday Tuesday! How the heck have you been?!
It feels like it’s been forever since I last talked to you guys, and believe me when I say that I didn’t really plan on just up and leaving you like that. I wish I could say that my extended absence was the result of an awesome weekend getaway or a little too much Cinco de Mayo celebrating, buuuuuut that would be a lie. The truth is that I spent the majority of the weekend at home, nursing a wonky stomach and a bad mood.
True story.
I have no idea what it was, but my stomach decided to start hating me on Saturday afternoon and it didn’t let up until yesterday afternoon, despite all of my babying, tip-toeing, bullying, and swearing. Maybe it was stress or hormones (aka: what I blame pretty much everything on), but yeah… nothing I did helped; and despite my initial attempts to try and smile through it, eventually I just gave up and gave in to feeling sorry for myself. Not one of my proudest moments, to be sure, but sometimes we all need to mope around for a day (or three), am.I.right? And thank you so much to everyone who tweeted/texted/e-mailed me to see if I was still alive – you guys made my heart smile. And so did these…
So at least the weekend wasn’t a total bust 😉 But I digress. You want to know the worst part about the whole thing? The lack of inspiration and heavy dose of writer’s block. Ugh. I can’t even tell you how many times I sat down at my computer, trying to come up with something to say, only to stare at a blank screen and walk away ridiculously frustrated. I swear… stomach problems seriously mess with my head. BUT… thankfully that’s all over now, and not only am I feeling like my normal self again, but I came across something while I was waiting in line at the grocery store the other day that totally inspired this post. Behold: Starbucks can now help you lose weight! (please note the heavy use of sarcasm)
I didn’t have a chance to flip through the magazine while I was at the store, but I have to admit that curiosity got the better of me and I Googled it when I got home. I thought it would have something to do with drinking tonnes of coffee or green coffee bean extract, but coffee actually has very little to do with it. Apparently, some woman (not the one on the cover, interestingly enough) lost 86 lbs. eating nothing but Starbucks for 2 years.
Brilliant news for all my fellow Starbucks lovers, right?! Not exactly. I mean, sure, it sounds better than losing weight on rice cakes, egg whites, and broccoli, but we’re not talking about enjoying brownies, bagels, cookies, and cakes. Oh no. We’re talking: oatmeal and black coffee for breakfast, and either a bistro box or panini for lunch and dinner.
Please tell me I’m not the only one who realizes that a) that’s just madness, and b) Starbucks has nothing to do with it. A diet like that would barely clock in at 1000 calories a day (don’t even get me started on severe calorie restriction). You could eat 1000 calories worth of Twinkies or cereal a day and still lose weight. Hey! Now there’s an idea!! I wonder if a cereal diet actually exists – excuse me while I Google it…
It does! Hallelujah, my prayers have been answered! It’s a good thing I stocked up this weekend…
😆 😆 😆 Ahhh. Nothing makes for a good laugh better than a stupid diet. I mean, you guys know how much I love my Starbucks…
… but I think I’ll stick to their coffee and keep eating normal food. And speaking of food, it’s time for me to go get some breakfast in my belly. I hope you guys are having an awesome Tuesday, and I’ll see you tomorrow for What I Ate Wednesday!
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What are some of your favorite ridiculous diets? I do love the Twinkie one 😆
Anyone else become a grumpy hermit when they don’t feel well? Tell me I’m not alone in this one…
The life saving Starbucks diet, no less. Scoff; how low have we sunk.
Ridiculousness aside, glad your stomach is feeling better and you are back, writers block and all. Isn’t that the worst..just willing the screen to inspire you and getting nothing.
Omg, people CEASE to amaze me!! Let me know if you ever stumble upon a pizza and fro-yo diet…I’ll be there to sign up in a heartbeat! Lol
Sorry to hear about your tummy troubles, but you are most certainly not alone in the whole brain-fog/funk thing! I’ve been battling a sensitive system myself lately (mainly due to a lack of sleep) and have felt SO unmotivated…which is why I skipped out on blogging yesterday. Hopefully I can get caught up on some zzz’s over the weekend and be good as new come Monday…or well, I guess I should say Sunday night since that’s when my workweek starts (boo, work!! :()
Sorry to hear you were under the weather as well!! I’m glad to hear you’re on the other side!
I JUST saw this magazine today and was super curious about it too, thanks for sharing what you found!! This is ridiculous and you nailed it by saying ANYTHING made up of 1000 cal would cause for loosing weight. Doesn’t mean it’s healthy! I get so annoyed by the lack of education or CARE from people that do these things.
girrrrrlll! I feel ya. Kinda had the same weekend. Funky time, both brain and stomach. LOL! Now about this starbucks diet, i have a feeling i’d lose more of my $$ than weight. And their oatmeal is so tiny.
hahahahahaha the starbucks diet?! Oh my that’s the funniest thing EVER!
Ohhh, there are so many weird diets.
Funniest- Jennifer Anniston’s “Baby Food Diet” a couple year ago. Squash puree, anyone?
Worst- The Lemonade Diet, as done by Beyonce so many celebrities. It’s really, really awful!
The Baby Food Diet… oh man that one must have been hell. I tried a few different jars on a dare, and let’s just say… I can’t even believe that babies will eat that stuff 😯
Damn I would love to do one of those diets haha! I love me some Starbucks. I have to say the Cabbage Soup diet is like wth?! There are so many though. I am not a fan of low-carb either. But the cereal diet… bring it on lol 🙂
I am obsessed with Woman’s World and there “new, HOT” diet every other week 😉 This one TOPS them all though! I looked into the Cookie Diet way back when, those cookies literally taste like cardboard, literally CARDBOARD I mean if I am just going to eat cookies I would rather have TWO amazing ones then 7 cardboard ones..CMON! lol* Sending you lots of LOVE this week! Love + Shine CourtStar
Haha! Silly diets like this crack me up too. I’ve heard of the “gas station” diet where someone ate nothing but crap hostess cupcakes and potato chips and lost weight. Well–yes, if you eat fewer calories than you need in a day, you’ll lose weight. It’s not all that complicated most of the time. But that doesn’t mean you’ll be any healthier! I can’t imagine eating literally the same thing every day. Then again–if it was peanut butter and breakfast sandwiches I could probably last for quite awhile..
As tempting as a cereal diet sounds, I think I’ll stick to my variety of foods as well. 😉
I’m glad you are feeling better, I definitely understand when your stomach starts rebelling with no cause or explanation and no amount of babying helps. Also, if it helps, I turn into a grumpy hermit when this happens too…:-)
You are totally not alone in becoming a grumpy hermit when you get sick. I have been sick for over a week now and I have NOT been my happy, optimistic, normal self. It stinks 🙁 Glad you are feeling better though!
Awwr sorry to hear that, girl! Hope that you’re feeling better soon too <3
Ahhh sorry you weren’t feeling well. I know that feeling – stomach problems are basically the story of my life….. Stupid IBS. haha oh well. I cannot even begin to describe I hate those ads for silly diets on magazines!
Haha, yes! The Twinkie diet!? Sign me up!! I could definitely go for a breakfast foods diet-cereal, oatmeal, waffles, crepes, yes please 🙂
Glad that your stomach is starting to cooperate with you again!
I remember hearing about the twinkie diet…it’s interesting, but definitely a weird one. I remember hearing about the Taco Bell diet back in the day too. Interesting what some corporations will do to try and convince us that they’re healthy!
Most of these diet trends are super crazy and not sustainable in the least! I admit that I fell into the low fat craze during the early days of my eating disorder and I survived basically on carrots, apples, black beans, rice and maybe a teaspoon of almond butter per day. So sad, so tasteless and I’m glad I can finally embrace all the tasty fats!
I will admit I’ve been curious about the raw foodism thing, as I do love my fruit, but I think it’s a bit ridiculous to eat that much fruit on a daily basis. That would be soooooo expensive, and I don’t think shunning fats and protein in favor of raw produce is necessarily the way to go, though I do enjoy lots of raw foods and meals on occasion.
Oh girl, if I can give you one piece of advice and have you listen, it would be to steer clear of raw foodism. I was 100% raw for about 8 months and it -wrecked- my health. And not only that, but it exacerbated my disordered thoughts so much and was probably the beginning of my eating disorder as well. Please, please, PLEASE… don’t go down that road.
I wish there was a “like” button for comments 🙂
That Starbucks diet is ridiculous! Seriously when will all this diet madness end? This is part of the reason why I’m so excited to become a registered dietitian so I can dispel all these stupid myths and trends regarding nutrition. 😛
I hope you’re feeling better now girl!
This just made my day! My Mom used to subscribe to Women’s World & I LOVED the ridiculous antics they always claimed could help you loose weight. Anything that claims to make you “loose weight” by only eating a certain type or brand of food sounds terrible! One of my favs I love to criticize is the “Subway Diet”, good for Jarrod for losing the weight, but sandwiches for a YEAR….so dullsville! ps. Hope you continue to feel better, tummy woes are the worst!
Glad you are feeling better now!
Hmmm.. Starbucks diet! Interesting. Way to promote the company. Coffee in general has a thermogenic agent that helps you burn calories. So any coffee will do not necessarily Starbucks brand. :))
Oh my goodness, I most definitely do become a grumpy hermit when I’m feeling under the weather; in fact, it’s not unusual for me to cry whenever I’m bed-bound 🙁 Favorite fad diet: the cabbage soup one, especially when you’re living under the same roof as someone who’s on it… said no one ever 😉
i stopped by yesterday from #MIMM post but didnt see you – i am glad you are feeling better today. I dont know why people fall these kind of diet- the best one I heard is junk food diet which is actually an interesting read- http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/junk-food-diet/MY01589.
That sounds exactly like the Twinkie diet, and it really goes to show that losing weight is mostly about the calories. Looking beyond weight and into health, however, makes it a whole other story…
Sometimes writer’s block just happens and there’s nothing you can do. I for one know that if I am in a bad mood I won’t be posting; I would probably just end up turning out a really negative post and bumming everyone out.
I saw that magazine too and I almost laughed out loud (my friend joked that the woman lost weight because she subsisted solely on $5 Fiji water). Not only is that unhealthy, restrictive and boring, it’s so EXPENSIVE!! I can barely afford Starbucks once a week, let alone 3 meals a day. If I had that woman’s budget, I would be eating crab legs every night.
I think I would be as big as a house if I lived off Starbucks food, each to their own I guess. And yes I’m all for hibernating when I’m sick.
Saw that magazine while waiting in line the other day….GIVE ME A FREAKING BREAK *face palm*. I don’t understand why our world has turned into such a diet-obsessed society. Just eat food, REAL food (and some sweets thrown in there, for good measure), live an active lifestyle–and I’m not even talking about the gym (you’ve inspired me to take a much needed break!), I mean moving, like we were made to do. Some people just need to come to terms with also that we are all made differently–one person may be healthy at one weight, while another of the same height may not be healthy at that same weight. Sadly I fell into the grasp of the cereal diet & Special K diet a while back during my “dark” days. I mean I love cereal and eat it every day….but I would have a tiny bowl with a tiny bit of milk. MAYBE some berries or half a banana if I was feeling feisty. It was HORRIBLE to say the least, and I wish I knew better back then!
I think the Special K diet is ridiculous for that same reason! The participants are only eating about 1000 calories..and I personally do not think meal replacement shakes taste very good!
I have had a grumpy tummy the last few days, too, so I’ve been sleeping a lot more than I usually do. SO yes, I do become a hermit. But even if you weren’t on my computer screen with a new post, you were def in my kitchen 😉 I modified your banana bread AND pumpkin chocolate chip bread a bit and enjoyed them (and am still enjoying them 😉 )
Ahhh what is it about wonky stomachs and baking? Perfect medicine right there 😀
I’m so glad you’re feeling better! I also get really grumpy when I’m sick….I hate it when I’m juuuust sick enough that can’t really go out and have fun and do things, but I’m still well enough to be aware of and care about this fact haha. Oh well. IT all passes eventually! And cookies definitely help :-D. As for the Starbucks diet….um that’s ridiculous. It’s true, calorie restriction works every time – be it Subway, Starbucks, McDonald’s……but you’re probably not healthier for it. I eat multiple thousands of calories a day (lol that makes me sound like a garbage disposal)….I can’t imagine surviving on that little food! My personal favorite though is the cabbage soup diet – one of the women who worked at my PT clinic was on it and I’m just like….really? If you’re going to restrict calories you might as well do it eating stuff you actually like right? restricting with cabbage soup is like…double misery lol
I hear you on the stomach problems don’t worry- I am a wreck when my stomach plays up (frequently :() I get a a migraine and my whole body goes into pain randomly- its very frustrating- like you have previously mentioned breakfast and bland always help- veggies and spices- Definetley not appealing at all during stomach woes. I hate calorie restricted diets ! I need a LOT of food to function properly- otherwise I get a host of weird symtoms- nauseau, pains-anxiety- and the remedy is usually is more fuel for my fire. So calorie counting or restriction really make me mad- learn to feel your bodies rythems- bodies can’t count! Cutting out food groups for a random reason is also very frustrating- giving up Pasta and cheese is sacrilege in Italy. Hope your day is brighter my beautiful friend- xo Sophia
Oh my love, you literally make my day 🙂
Sorry to hear about the tummy wonkiness. So not a fan of that stuff!! Mine gets like that too, and unfortunately I just have to ride it out. Nothing helps but the couch and some smutty movies (aka anything with hot men in it. bahahaha)
Yes…the diets are getting stranger and more ridiculous by the week aren’t they? I have a “cookie diet” STORE near me. Like a legit store that sells the products and coaches people on how to use the system. FOR REALZ PEEPS?!
Although I’d be right behind you on the cereal diet bandwagon 🙂
People have to be -coached- on how to eat cookies? Send ’em my way! I’m a pro 😉
Glad you are feeling better…This silly fad diet reminds me of Jared from Subway when he ate nothing but 2 subs a day or something like that and lost a ton of weight. Like you said- it becomes just a matter of calories, not the actual food…And I thought of the Special K cereal diet…What people don’t realize is that they don’t need some kooky “diet” scheme to lose the weight – they just need to eat balanced and not eliminate any one food from their diet to avoid cravings. Diets don’t work because people feel too restricted so they end up on these Starbucks “diets” to feel like they can eat something enjoyable. I never did a kooky diet but maybe I should try out some type of peanut butter diet- perhaps I can land myself back on Dr. Oz again for it. lol
Aww man, what a weekend for you to be sick! 🙁 I hope you were still able to soak up some rays, though.
Ooh, I hate all “diets”, but the ones I’m getting really tired of is the Body by Vi 90 Day Challenge, Shakeology, etc crap. People are making money by taking advantage of their friends & family. Especially because the majority of people are gaining all the weight back + some after starving themselves with soy protein shakes. It’s no way to live!
I’m a hermit even when I’m well. Hahaha. I love being alone!
I saw that magazine in the grocery store last week! First of all, who can actually afford that? Secondly, it’s cheaper and healthier to make your own food like that at home- and doesn’t take that much time! This kind of stuff bothers me because so many people just want the next miracle diet. I’ve seen a someecard that says “I will do anything to lose those last 10 pounds, except eat healthy and exercise”. What will they think of next?
Aww I hope you start feeling better now!! Some days you just have writer’s block. It happens.
The Starbucks diet sound expensive and gross. Black coffee? No not happening for me! I enjoyed reading about it though and all of the comments!
I don’t mind the black coffee bit, but paying $15-20 a day for food? So not happening…