I was originally planning on writing a completely different post today, but something happened yesterday that I couldn’t quite ignore – I was on the receiving end of a comment. Mmm hmm. Not a mean, snarky, ill-meaning comment given in an attempt to tear down my not-so-delicate state of mind, but a completely ridiculous comment that just left me thinking: “What the eff…“
So here’s the story. Grab a cookie and get comfy.
I was running a little late after work and really needed my afternoon caffeine fix so I decided to pick up my daily cappuccino from a different Starbucks than the one I normally frequent. That’s fine. I was at the bar placing my order (grande cappuccino) when the girl behind the register said to me: “You’re pretty skinny, but you could probably be a lot skinnier if you started drinking skim milk instead of 2%.”
… 😯 … the hell?
I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that I ordered a side of [stupid] advice along with my coffee. Oh wait – that’s because I didn’t. I bit my tongue and swallowed my smart-ass “skim milk tastes like dirty water” comeback, going with a more neutral this-is-neither-the-time-nor-place-to-talk-about-this reply instead, but her comment really got under my skin. Not because I thought she was implying that I needed to lose weight (I don’t), or that I was seriously considering her “advice” (I wasn’t), but because I guess I’ve gotten to a point where that kind of thinking just feels so foreign to me…
I don’t really think about calories or losing weight. I look good, I feel good, and I’m healthy – that’s all I care about. Could I be skinnier? Sure; I used to be. Was I happier? No, definitely not. Contrary to popular belief, skinny is not synonymous with happy – in fact, the skinnier I became, the more miserable I was. We tend to fall into the trap of thinking “Oh, if I just lose a few pounds my life will be so much better,” but it won’t. I’m sorry, but if you can’t live with yourself at a certain weight, making yourself smaller isn’t going to help. You may feel temporarily satisfied, but you’ve dealt with a symptom instead of addressing the problem – whatever it was that caused you to feel that way in the first place is still there, you just put a band-aid over it.
And I’m not trying to say that I’m any better – God knows I’ve spend a good chunk of my life trying/hoping/wanting to lose weight; but if recovering from my eating disorder has taught me anything, it’s that a life spent focusing solely on ourselves and how we look is a life wasted. It doesn’t bring true happiness, and only takes our attention and energy away from the things that really matter. What really matters? People matter. Helping others matters. I kid you not that shifting my attention away from what I could do for myself to what I could do for other people has been one of the biggest factors in my healing process. There’s a big wide world out there, and it’s full of plenty of more important things than being able to fit into a smaller pair of jeans.
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No questions today; I’d just love to hear your thoughts.
The phrase “chat is core ball game” could also be used to describe the importance of social interaction in sports. Sports can be a great way to meet new people and make friends. Players often form close bonds with their teammates, and these relationships can be just as important as the skills they learn on the field.
Ultimately, the meaning of the phrase “chat is core ball game” is up to interpretation. However, it seems that the phrase is likely to emphasize the importance of communication and social interaction in sports. intended
The video game was released around 2015 and included sixty different levels. An instant later, the total was 90 levels
Wow.. That’s not something I’d ever say, especially not to a paying client. I’d file a formal complaint with her superiors. She has no right to speak to others in such a manner. Ever. Irritating to an extreme.
I think I would have spilled the coffee on her, “accidentally”, and then called corporate and got free coffee for life. What a douchenozzle.
I know this is an older post, but I had to comment after my experiences over the last couple of weeks. I’m a bride-to-be and last weekend I went to try on some dresses for the first time to get an idea of the type of style I might like. Well the minute I saw the consultant I was assigned to, the first words out of her mouth were: “You’re so tiny. Do you eat? Are you considered an anorexic?”. Yeah, I wish I’d had the nerve to bolt out of there. Talk about a blow to the self-conscious when you’re at your most vulnerable. Then, last weekend my fiance and I were out at the mall and within 5 minutes of entering we walked past a teenage girl who loud and clear said to the person she was walking with “She needs to eat a cheeseburger!”. I turned around and gave her the stink eye and she gave me a dirty look in return!! Why are people so rude. Lately I want to sequester myself to my apartment and never leave!
Hi there! Love the website, very inspirational. I think I read one of your posted a while back that first got me thinking about calories and how I would like to one day quit counting. Well, that day is now! Something just tells me I can do it and I’m ready now. I am underweight from calorie counting (go figure) but I am going to try my hardest to stop, I want to gain weight and look healthier. I completely agree with this post. I am that girl that was skinny, but lost more weight.. and now I hate how I look and want to be curvey and healthy looking again! Do you have any pointers for maintaining a healthy weight without counting calories? How do you still enjoy all the desserts? Do you designate a cheat day? or just limit your intake? Thanks for the posts though! Loved hearing your story!
This is ridiculous! Hasn’t anyone told that barista that her job is to serve customers what they want, not to judge them and be a total b*tch? Even if you actually needed to lose weight (which you obviously don’t), she’s the last person who is supposed to give you advice about that. Duh…
I don’t really drink full fat milk (1-2% is OK for my taste) but those 0,1% milks look like you’ve just dipped your toothbrush in a glass of water and taste like… well… pretty much like water. If you want a good quality drink, you drink the real thing. The same applies to food.
As for insensible employees, I haven’t experienced anything like this in Japan because everybody acts extremely professional while at work. Back at home though I’ve had some really unpleasant encounters. I remember once, when I was in the healthy weight range for someone 10 inches shorter than me, I was in the mall and this girl approached me with a huge smile, a flyer and a sample of the weight loss chewing gums she was selling. I took the sample with a blank face, went back home and bawled my eyes out. Did she think I was fat? I don’t know. But somebody should teach people like her when it’s better to just shut up and think for a second what effect their words might have on people.
Now give me that cookie! (Stop making me drool!)
Wow.. I would never say that to anybody.. much less a customer. I would put in a complaint to her manager. She should not be saying that to people. Ever. Beyond rude.
HUH? People baffle me…seriously baffle me! I’ve been thinking about this entire situation and can only come up with one explanation. The girl must have some internal and physical issues of her own (perhaps she’s battling her own disordered eating habits and views). When she saw you…a gorgeous, svelte, healthy, and happy girl…she experienced envy and fired back at you in a snarky way. And it wasn’t just plain old vain envy, it was a complicated sort of “I’m unhappy with myself and am bothered by those that actually are happy” reaction. Truthfully, it’s sad to think what could spur such a hateful comment from someone but it is what it is. I’m so proud of you for not letting her words get under your skin! Shows you’re the bigger and stronger person in the situation.
people are absolutely ridiculous! im so sorry you had to encounter that, noone deserves too.. i am always getting little comments thrown at me and i never understand why people would do that.. you had a very good response and im happy that you didnt let it slow you down since you have come so far already! keep it up!