I woke up the other morning feeling fluffy.
You know what I’m talking about. You get out of bed and the first thing you notice is that some of your body parts (never the right ones, mind you) are battling for your attention by moving around more than they do on other days. Hello Thigh, yes, I acknowledge you – no need to yell… Don’t fuss, Butt Cheek, there’s enough attention to go around – you’ll get your turn. Don’t start with me, Stomach, I’m already busy dealing with the other two.
Yep, one of those days.
Too much salt. That time of the month. Not enough sleep. Allergies. Stress… Whatever you choose to attribute it to doesn’t change the fact that those days plain suck, and the worst part is that they seem to be inevitable. Skinny, curvy, happy, moody… “fat days” happen to us all. In varying frequencies, maybe, but no one is immune to them. And if you are… well then… I blow raspberries in your general direction.
So yeah… Yesterday just happened to be one of those days for me, and while they’re nowhere near as common or crippling as they used to be, I wouldn’t exactly call them pleasant either. Luckily, I’ve managed to pick up a few tips over the years that make those days easier to deal with…
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5 Ways to Deal With “Fat Days”
1. Identify the Source of the Problem.
More often than not, fat days have nothing to do with how we physically look — as cliche as it sounds, most of it really is in our heads. Sure, there might be some water retention or bloat going on, but more often than not, we’re dealing with some kind of emotional weight and projecting those feelings of inadequacy, fear, stress, frustration, guilt, etc. onto something we can see and deal with more directly, i.e.: our physical bodies. Looming deadlines. Drama at work/school. Fights with friends/family. Important decisions to make… All those things can add a good handful of pounds to what we see when we look in the mirror. If that’s the case, we need to spend some time digging through the mess in our heads so that we can a) identify the true cause, and b) deal with THAT issue directly. I know it’s easier said than done, but spending some time journaling, meditating, or even talking to someone can really shed some light on the situation and help us get to the root of the problem.
2. Eat, Drink, and be Merrier.
The absolute worst thing you can do on days where you’re struggling with body image is try and overcompensate by starving yourself. Think about it — how is being hungry going to help improve your mood? It’s not — it’ll only make you feel worse. I don’t know about you, but I’m absolutely miserable when I don’t have enough food in my system. Not only do I become irritable and moody, but I have a much harder time dealing with stress and anxiety as well. This is not helpful. What is helpful is drinking lots of water (to beat any potential bloat), eating balanced meals (none of this veggies and egg whites nonsense), taking in an adequate amount of calories, and treating yourself to something delicious. That’s not to say you should give in to hopelessness and go drown your sorrows in cookies and ice cream, but treating your body to good food that you enjoy reinforces the idea that you’re worth taking care of,which goes a long way in shaking off those blues.
3. Move.
… and I don’t mean by killing yourself at the gym in hopes of losing some weight — that kind of punishment-based mentality will only cause you more trouble in the long run. No. What I am suggesting is to resist the urge to curl up in bed and sulk. Again, not helpful. Instead, pull yourself together, throw on a cute outfit, and get out of the house. Go shopping. Meet up with a friend. Go for a walk. Grab a coffee. Get distracted. As tempting as it may be, don’t hide from the world and wallow in self-pity — be proactive and do something. A good sweat session can be extremely beneficial thanks to the adrenaline and endorphins, but again, try to avoid the punishment/compensation mentality and instead look at it a doing something good for your body. If all else fails, put on a favourite song and dance around in your room — you’d be surprised how much it helps.
4. Strut your stuff.
We all have that one emergency outfit… The baggy sweatpants that don’t touch us in any of the wrong places. The oversized sweater that effectively hides our imagined pooch. The clothes that look horrible but feel oh so good… Leave them buried in the closet — they’ll kill your self-confidence and only make it that much harder to feel good in your own skin. Instead, hop in the shower, put on some lotion, spend a little extra time on your hair and makeup, throw on a killer outfit, dab on your favourite perfume, put on a pair of heels, grab your favourite piece of jewelry, and own.that.sh*t. Your mind is trying to tell you that you don’t look good — fight back and show it that you do.
5. Get over it.
It sounds harsh, but at the end of the day, we need to leave the pity party behind and realize that there are more important things out there than weight… especially seeing as fat days are mostly in our heads. And even if there is some slight bloat going on, it’s nowhere near noticeable. I mean, come on… do you honestly notice if your friend gains/loses a pound or two? If you say yes then you either have superhuman powers of observation, or you’re a lying liar who lies. And even if you do notice, do you like them less for it? No, you don’t. You might not like that they suddenly become mopey, insecure, and don’t want to do anything fun, but you still love ’em for the qualities that actually matter — friendliness, humour, trustworthiness, loyalty, etc.
Fat days tend to come as mysteriously as they go and have more to do with what’s going on in our heads than anything else. I remember struggling with them on a much more regular basis when I was in the depths of my ED, which should tell you something about how accurate those thoughts are. If I was feeling fat when I literally had none on me, well then… something else is going on. So don’t take those days lying down and do something about ’em. Remember — your actions reinforce your thoughts. If you give in to fat days, you’re only validating those thoughts and making it easier for them to continue plaguing you.
Do you ever experience “fat days?”
How do you deal with them?
Stopping by as part of the SITSsharefest! I also moved my scale right out of the master bath. There’s an old saying; that which you focus on gets bigger. I chose not to focus on muffin tops, thighs or waistline a long time ago! Great post, I enjoyed it!
I love that you posted about this, and the unicorns-except the smoking unicorn….
I think when you’ve recovered from an ED, it’s like, you aren’t healthy if you still have these thoughts. But I almost feel like it’s unfortunately very uncommon for this not to happen to anyone (mostly females, but some males) from time to time.
My friend always says, just because you feel fat, doesn’t mean you are. Our feelings aren’t always valid, and are often fleeting.
And perhaps ignorance is bliss. I’ve found that if I, to an extent, avoid it- put on some comfortable clothes, and pry myself away from the liar-err, mirror, the feeling passes. I also try to remember my boyfriend telling me how he only cares about me being healthy, not skinny. It really can be a mind-freak, but we don’t have to let it control us.
Great post! The other day, I had a ‘fat day’ feeling while getting ready to work, but I didn’t let it make me change my outfit. And guess what- a co-worker asks me if I’ve amped up my workouts lately as I seemed to look slimmer! Goes on to prove that it’s all in our head and why we shouldn’t let ‘fat days’ take control!
You have a way with your words. You know exactly what to say and describe those “fluffy” days perfectly. Honestly when I have a fat day – which is too often for my liking – I just want to crawl up in bed but I know that is probably the opposite of what needs (or can) happen so I usually try to put on my favourite outfit, fix up my hair and avoid mirrors at all costs! Playing a happy song, talking to a friend who understands (or my mom) and doing something (despite not wanting to) for myself can help too but usually fat days remain fat days and I just have to take every moment to remember that beauty is equally internal as it is external. I try to breathe, and know that in the end, it doesn’t really matter how I see myself because I am my own worst critic and others are more caught up in their own flaws than to notice fluctuations in my size. Thanks for this positive reminder – I needed it!
Such a great post! The mind is such a powerful thing and can skew your perception in a matter of minutes. It’s amazing and scary. I hate to say it but as females we’re almost predestined to criticizing ourselves and exaggerating what we see in the mirror. Anyway, these are all great points of advice! I find that when I am truly “fluffy” (i.e. bloated) a hot shower really physically helps for some reason. Dancing around the room does wonders too 😉
I certainly do have fat days! But I love the ‘strut your stuff’ attitude – I’m definitely going to embrace that today..
I love this, girl. Particularly, the last one. sometimes we just have to suck it up, acknowledge that “fluffy” days happen, and well, get over it. Also, a good Despicable Me quote never hurts either. 😉
That’s always the first thing that pops into my head when I hear the word “fluffy” 😉
Yeap! Today was one for me and I felt fluffy even after I worked out. It used to bother me more when I was younger, but now I’m able to brush it off easier. Maybe I didn’t sleep enough or my body has decided to just fluctuate a pound, who knows. I also remind myself that while I think I’m fat, in reality its because I’m being over-observant of myself. We tend to exaggerate ourselves when it comes to weight and appearance.
Saving this for my next fat day, thanks so much!
It’s so cool to see that we all deal with similar things every now and then! It’s so easy to feel like you’re the “only” one who thinks certain things about yourself, etc. etc. when in fact all of us have good and bad days…especially when it comes to things in the surface like feeling “fluffy”. Haha, love that term btw! 😛
I think it’s so amazingly insightful of you to state that those things are all in the mind! Granted, there are days like yesterday and today when I’m extra bloated and retaining too much water, but it’s just that–water! Anything that has to do with negativity about ourselves and others always comes back to the heart. Where’s our heart at? What’s our mind focusing on? Are we trusting God and living solely for the reasons He’s created us? And I could go on with this! Well my friend, hope you have a gorgeous day and perhaps more a un-fluffy one? 😀
Such a GREAT post. Love it.
I experience fat days since I started with my ED at 16 years old. My go to strategy was to punish myself for looking gross and not being perfect. So I starved, I exercised like mad and put on skinny jeans so I could FEEL what I all did wrong.
So much changed and even though these days still suck, i turned it all around – I give myself more self- love, attention, peace, sleeep and balanced food. I rock smokey eyes and paint my nails. And I go to bed early, because most of the time when I wake up in the morning, I am ‘skinny’ again 🙂
Aaaah yes. They really are inevitable! I’ll usually make sure I eat lots of protein and veggies that day. Then I’ll put on a flattering outfit, finding something that’s cute and comfortable that day does the trick! It’s usually never jeans… leggings are a go to for me!
The absolute best thing I can do on fat days is exercise… I instantly feel better, but initially motivating myself to get to the gym is the tough part! Stopping by from the SITS Sharefest 🙂 Have a great weekend!
xo,
Stephanie
Diary of a Debutante
http://www.stephanieziajka.blogspot.com
Totally agree- get over it- is a good call.
Seriously there is so much more to focus on! Get over it and hey try to focus on the fact that its femine and sexy to have a bit of fat on you. I think women also need to fight back on this warped idea of the female form projected by the media. We can fight! Embrace fat days- don’t call them fat days- call them I’m a powerful sexy beast days and there just feels like even more of me to love today ( couldn’t figure out anything better so there you go lol) 😉 and just so you know- I saw those pictures of you at the healthy living seminar- that mirror is a LIAR times a thousand!!!!!
Thanks Libby 🙂 You’re definitely right about it being a liar — hence why I tend to avoid it on those days, except to do makeup 😉
Great post! We all have these days& I’ve been having a few too many of them, but it’s surely related to the few too many treats I’ve been indulging in. I like to deal w/fat days by putting something looser on, but something that makes me feel cute, yet safe & comfy.
I appreciate this post. Thank you for putting it out there! I especially love the last one: Get over it. Because even though I know exactly what you mean and I have those days too, life is way too short to obsess so much over appearance! We should be more focused on FEELING good and doing things that are meaningful in life. 🙂
Love it! It’s so important to remember that there are many reasons why we might be having fat days – and sometimes, it’s not our fault at all! The best thing to do is take it in stride, not come down too hard on ourselves, and follow your tips. I definitely find that exercise helps me a lot on days like that, as does staying busy. If I’m busy, I won’t be thinking about how I look or feel!
I definitely have fat days too every once in a while – I think they’re unavoidable! But I totally agree that pampering myself and getting a bit dressed up always helps. Also bubble baths. Never underestimate the healing power of a good bubble bath. 😉
Such great advice that I will be sharing with so many friends! Me and a good friend were just talking about this today as I was having one of those fats days and so was she. It was surprising how similar we thought in terms of our body, what was wrong, how we felt about it. Moving is a sure way not only to make me feel better about myself, but it puts me in a general great mood and battles moodswings. Thanks for this post!
“…or you’re a lying liar who lies.” <- Love this! Haha!
And these are all GREAT tips! Whenever I have one of "those" days, I always try to make sure to put on an outfit that feels comfortable, yet shows off the parts of me that don't feel so fat and frumpy and I also try to do things just for myself that day and remember that it's just one of those days, it was nothing I did, and it will be better tomorrow. It's all about the self-love and nurturing…and NOW I sound like a friggin' hippie! Lol
Just a little 😉 But all is forgiven if you come with special ingredient brownies 😉
Thanks for posting this Amanda- I especially love your first point because it is so damn accurate- it really is in our heads. Even if it contributed to by some food source, its just the body’s natural rhythms and daily fluctuations- abit of water and moving around and voila- its no longer there.
I generally do suffer fat days, especially on days when I’ve consumed alot of salt the night before or had a restless nights sleep- actually lack of sleep is big one- I always find myself puffy the morning of, but in reality its natural- I’d be worried if I didn’t wake up puffy.
For me regarding dealing with them is NOT to cut back or skip a meal- just go with the flow and realise throughout the day, it will normalise!
This post is so brilliant. Everything you say is so true, and I especially love the last point and think its something we all need to hear once in a while. Yes, it sucks feeling “fluffy” or not feeling great about yourself, but sometimes we need to put things into perspective and really look at ourselves in the mirror and ask ourselves are we really becoming so hung up on our appearance? Is how we look really the most important thing to us, and the thing that is going to shape how we are feeling and how our day goes?
Time to suck it up and live positively, remembering how much more there is to life than that little bit of chub on our stomach or our jiggly thighs.
Seriously, you posted this at the best possible time!! I stepped on the scale last night (I have been feeling fluffy for a couple of weeks) and realized I have gained some weight since moving to the twin cities with the bf. I still haven’t really decided if this is a bad thing because I don’t feel too bad…just can’t fit into some jeans, ya know? Plus yesterday and today there were definitely reasons for bloating…salt and hormones up the wazzoo!
Anywhoo I definitely started the day wallowing, but just went out for a short run/walk and feel much better!
Thank you so much for posting this because I’m sure you know all ladies go through this. And if they don’t, I will join you in raspberry blowing!!
It’s nice to know that we’re not alone in our struggles with this kind of thing, isn’t it? We assume that we are because those perceived changes we see in ourselves are pretty much impossible to detect when we look at others, but it seems like everyone has to deal with this sort of thing.
Of course I have fluffy days. I don’t know any woman who doesn’t, and I am digging your tips for getting over them. Usually on days like that, it helps having my rational mind tell my irrational mind to step off because it’s generally in my head. Then I put on my cutest heels and hottest jeans and I work. it. out. I might not be feeling it at first, but I usually am by the time the day is done. Occasionally this doesn’t work, but it’s far better than doing nothing and/or moping because nothing good comes from either one of those.
Great post!! As usual. I’m beginning to sound like a broken record, but your posts are always so well thought out and put together.
When I have fat days, I wear a favorite sweater (not oversized, just a sweater) jeans, and sneakers. Then I make coffee and read a book – works every time 😉
While I’m not calling them ‘fat days’ but just grumpy “leave me alone or I’ll bite” days I definitely have them. Admittedly more frequently these past weeks and now that you’ve written it down I totally have to agree that, yes, they really are [for the most part] mental. Some not-so-awesome life circumstances that I’ve known for years influence the way I eat [more than usual] and feel [more self-critical].
The tips you offered are awesome and I especially agree on #3 and 4. Bold lipstick and a cute dress are necessities for me on ‘those’ days. Long walks or generally just moving around to get some fresh air and busy my mind with other things are important. That and treating myself a little. So yes, that new Essie polish I’d been holding off on for too long took me no longer than a few seconds to decide on when I had my last serious case of ‘fat days’. With my usual undecisiveness I’d probably even have to call that a ‘fat day’ success :).