I woke up the other morning feeling fluffy.
You know what I’m talking about. You get out of bed and the first thing you notice is that some of your body parts (never the right ones, mind you) are battling for your attention by moving around more than they do on other days. Hello Thigh, yes, I acknowledge you – no need to yell… Don’t fuss, Butt Cheek, there’s enough attention to go around – you’ll get your turn. Don’t start with me, Stomach, I’m already busy dealing with the other two.
Yep, one of those days.
Too much salt. That time of the month. Not enough sleep. Allergies. Stress… Whatever you choose to attribute it to doesn’t change the fact that those days plain suck, and the worst part is that they seem to be inevitable. Skinny, curvy, happy, moody… “fat days” happen to us all. In varying frequencies, maybe, but no one is immune to them. And if you are… well then… I blow raspberries in your general direction.
So yeah… Yesterday just happened to be one of those days for me, and while they’re nowhere near as common or crippling as they used to be, I wouldn’t exactly call them pleasant either. Luckily, I’ve managed to pick up a few tips over the years that make those days easier to deal with…
. – . – . – .
5 Ways to Deal With “Fat Days”
1. Identify the Source of the Problem.
More often than not, fat days have nothing to do with how we physically look — as cliche as it sounds, most of it really is in our heads. Sure, there might be some water retention or bloat going on, but more often than not, we’re dealing with some kind of emotional weight and projecting those feelings of inadequacy, fear, stress, frustration, guilt, etc. onto something we can see and deal with more directly, i.e.: our physical bodies. Looming deadlines. Drama at work/school. Fights with friends/family. Important decisions to make… All those things can add a good handful of pounds to what we see when we look in the mirror. If that’s the case, we need to spend some time digging through the mess in our heads so that we can a) identify the true cause, and b) deal with THAT issue directly. I know it’s easier said than done, but spending some time journaling, meditating, or even talking to someone can really shed some light on the situation and help us get to the root of the problem.
2. Eat, Drink, and be Merrier.
The absolute worst thing you can do on days where you’re struggling with body image is try and overcompensate by starving yourself. Think about it — how is being hungry going to help improve your mood? It’s not — it’ll only make you feel worse. I don’t know about you, but I’m absolutely miserable when I don’t have enough food in my system. Not only do I become irritable and moody, but I have a much harder time dealing with stress and anxiety as well. This is not helpful. What is helpful is drinking lots of water (to beat any potential bloat), eating balanced meals (none of this veggies and egg whites nonsense), taking in an adequate amount of calories, and treating yourself to something delicious. That’s not to say you should give in to hopelessness and go drown your sorrows in cookies and ice cream, but treating your body to good food that you enjoy reinforces the idea that you’re worth taking care of,which goes a long way in shaking off those blues.
3. Move.
… and I don’t mean by killing yourself at the gym in hopes of losing some weight — that kind of punishment-based mentality will only cause you more trouble in the long run. No. What I am suggesting is to resist the urge to curl up in bed and sulk. Again, not helpful. Instead, pull yourself together, throw on a cute outfit, and get out of the house. Go shopping. Meet up with a friend. Go for a walk. Grab a coffee. Get distracted. As tempting as it may be, don’t hide from the world and wallow in self-pity — be proactive and do something. A good sweat session can be extremely beneficial thanks to the adrenaline and endorphins, but again, try to avoid the punishment/compensation mentality and instead look at it a doing something good for your body. If all else fails, put on a favourite song and dance around in your room — you’d be surprised how much it helps.
4. Strut your stuff.
We all have that one emergency outfit… The baggy sweatpants that don’t touch us in any of the wrong places. The oversized sweater that effectively hides our imagined pooch. The clothes that look horrible but feel oh so good… Leave them buried in the closet — they’ll kill your self-confidence and only make it that much harder to feel good in your own skin. Instead, hop in the shower, put on some lotion, spend a little extra time on your hair and makeup, throw on a killer outfit, dab on your favourite perfume, put on a pair of heels, grab your favourite piece of jewelry, and own.that.sh*t. Your mind is trying to tell you that you don’t look good — fight back and show it that you do.
5. Get over it.
It sounds harsh, but at the end of the day, we need to leave the pity party behind and realize that there are more important things out there than weight… especially seeing as fat days are mostly in our heads. And even if there is some slight bloat going on, it’s nowhere near noticeable. I mean, come on… do you honestly notice if your friend gains/loses a pound or two? If you say yes then you either have superhuman powers of observation, or you’re a lying liar who lies. And even if you do notice, do you like them less for it? No, you don’t. You might not like that they suddenly become mopey, insecure, and don’t want to do anything fun, but you still love ’em for the qualities that actually matter — friendliness, humour, trustworthiness, loyalty, etc.
Fat days tend to come as mysteriously as they go and have more to do with what’s going on in our heads than anything else. I remember struggling with them on a much more regular basis when I was in the depths of my ED, which should tell you something about how accurate those thoughts are. If I was feeling fat when I literally had none on me, well then… something else is going on. So don’t take those days lying down and do something about ’em. Remember — your actions reinforce your thoughts. If you give in to fat days, you’re only validating those thoughts and making it easier for them to continue plaguing you.
Do you ever experience “fat days?”
How do you deal with them?
LOVE this! Gosh- I have these all the time. I love that- fluffy- haha! I had a day like this last week, and instead of hating myself like I used to, I did the opposite- I ate what I wanted that day and listened to my hunger and fullness signals, and I exercised for a reasonable amount of time, and then just put on some yoga pants and forgot that my butt felt a little more wobbly than normal! Two days later I felt fine again ,and even back to my old self. I read a saying once that said, “Fat is a feeling” and I try to remember that. When we say we “feel fat”, most of the time, it comes from other places or influences. Plus, I don’t think women give enough account to how our hormones affect the we we bloat, how our digestion works and how our mood works. The older I get, the more I notice how sleep seems to help this better than anything. I nap more than I used to, and not only are my hormones more stable, but my body seems to feel less “fat” and more happy! Great post Amanda! With all your yummy eats, I guess I never thought you suffer, but this proves you’re as real as the rest of us!:)
Oh believe me, girl, I definitely have them — and I deal with pesky zits and bad hair days too 😉 But you’re right about the sleep… Not getting enough can really mess up my system, and hormonal issues have got to be one of the most annoying things to deal with since they affect SO much. Oh the joys of being a woman 🙄
Great post! I think you are so right- no one else notices such tiny things and we’re usually blowing them up in our minds. This is a great reminder to put things in perspective!
Great tips! I have been having more of these than I care to admit lately, and going for that outfit that fits no matter what is KEY! Leggings and flowy shirts are lifesavers! Plus, when we feel fluffy, usually no one else can tell!
It’s definitely impossible for other people to tell. And you’ve had SO much going on lately, so it’s not surprising that you’ve been feeling a little more worn thin than usual. Remember to take mental health breaks <3
lean or curvy, we all have those days. HOrmones, ugh. But i try to do the last one and say.. SCREW IT!
Thanks for the tips girl! I was going to write a similar post a while back…you prob put it way better than I would have lol!
Great great post, Amanda! No matter how confident we are, those “fat” days are almost inevitable…at least once in a blue moon! Over time I have come to realise that reminding myself about assets which I do in fact like about myself is the most effective way for me to get over it. Wearing an outfit which automatically makes me feel confident also helps, and that’s usually a dress! And if all fails, I book a day at the salon- there are few things which getting pampered can’t help ;)!
Wonderful tips. A lying liar who lies….ha! I agree with all of these, especially #5. Normally when I have a fat day, I mope for a few minutes and then tell myself that I’m the only one who can notice, and that it’s only temporary. I’d say my fat days are mostly due to bloat, and I know the next day I will be back to my “normal” self.
Definitely useful tips! I’ve definitely noticed a pattern to my ‘fat days’ – they happen I’m feeling stressed or indecisive about something, or when I haven’t been taking care of myself – not getting enough sleep, not eating enough or getting enough sleep. Knowing that there’s a reason behind why I feel the way I do definitely helps me move past it. I just try to identify the source of the problem and deal with it – drink more water, make sure my meals are balanced, go to bed early that night, or identify what’s stressing me out and force myself to relax. If I can do that, I wake up the next morning feeling just as badass unicorn-ish as ever 😉
AND I firmly believe that heels do wonders for self-confidence. How can you not feel sexy in a pair of stilettos?
Kinda crazy how not eating enough can make us feel fat, eh? But I’ve noticed the same thing… Not enough food = stomach getting pissy = more bloat = feeling fat. There are no, no, no pluses to restriction.
this post is SO true and spot on and will help so many! god i hate those days. i know realistically i am not fat and far from it but i feel totally huge some mornings, usually the days after i went out the night before and had a cocktail because i feel dehydrated. i try to do what you said and ID the REAL source of the problem and fix it but i sometimes still get tempted to take the easy way out (despite my ED telling me it’s the right way out) and restrict or overexercise. in reality it never makes me feel better to do that. this post is a great reality check that i know i’ll need in the future so thank you!
I definitely have learned to just let the fat days go and move on. If I feel extra “bloated” it’s most likely due to what I ate; in fact, the days where I consumed raw veggies and egg whites were the days I was MOST bloated. As soon as I started eating more carbs, the bloat in my stomach went away. Who would have thought, right? I really try to catch myself with “body checking” and if I do, I pretty much tell myself I’m not allowed to touch myself. And I just realized how extremely WRONG this sounded, but seriously… Sometimes you really just do need to MOVE ON.
“or you’re a lying liar who lies” Hahahaha. Thank you SO much for making me laugh.
I’ve never thought of contributing “fat days” to emotional stress, typically just physical culprits. But I think you’re on to something there. I typically look down on myself on days where my mentality isn’t at its best. I love the idea of moving and getting out there, even hanging with friends. They can cure anything.
Ah yes, those “fat days” that we all despise… Thanks for being open with us and sharing your tips! I think the mental aspect is the hardest thing to overcome, because let’s be real, most of it is mental. I find that drinking lots of water, going out for a walk/jog, and doing something I love helps me shift my attitude and helps me feel better.
YES. This post is right on the money.
Everyone has fat days. Everyone. Victoria’s Secret models have fat days. Does that mean we’re “fat”? Hell no. Like you said, more often than not it comes down to having some emotional weight that’s pulling us down. Staying positive and being kind to our bodies is the most important thing.
<3
I remember reading that about the VS models and thinking “yeah right”… That was before my ED hit and I started experiencing fat days even when I was basically skin and bones. So yeah… nothing to do with actual weight.
Thank you for sharing your helpful tips. Such a great post today (as most days!).
I find that I have “fat days” or “ugly days” when I’m unhappy about other things in my life or dealing with some crap, for sure. For the past couple months I’ve been super frustrated with job searching and my self esteem has definitely taken a hit. Therefore I’m more dissatisfied with my physical appearance. The snowball effect.
Love the tips you listed- especially forgoing the sulking in favor of doing something, anything! I had a nice night with good friends this week when I was having a particularly rough day and it made me feel worlds better.
We ALL have those days. I love the idea of doing your hair or makeup. Fake it till you make it right? Also it’s definitely best to avoid mirrors….except if you’re using it to put makeup on!
Oh I hate fat days. I know it’s usually all in my head but that feeling still has a way of bringing you down. I usually go the baggy sweats route… May have to try dressing cute the next fat day I have.
Thank you so much for writing this post <3
Just wanted to add to what you said about focusing on other things… I was having a ‘fat day’ a few days ago and happened to read details of Elizabeth’s Smart’s abduction on CNN. She was promoting her new book with Anderson Cooper. After reading the horrific things this girl went through for NINE months (they literally made me feel sick), and stopped and thought to myself, “UM. You are stressing about feeling fat? Get OVER yourself.” There are far, FAR worse things in life, and me sitting there feeling like “fat” was the worst thing was absolutely NUTS. I think it helps to put our troubles into perspective. I’m not trying to minimize the mental anguish that it can bring (you know how serious my ED was), but it just helps to realize that things really aren’t that bad. I think “real” worries help to snap you out of body image irrationality.
Oh I completely agree! It’s pretty easy to get caught in our own little bubble and start letting little things like that get to us in big ways, but when we take a look at the hardships that other people have to go through, or if something happens to rock our own world? Then those things really turn out to be nothing at all.
Ha, funny I have a draft saved up with this same topic. It seems that when I feel this way, and take a step back, I can usually pinpoint it. Most times, it’s that time of the month. Sometimes I look at a picture of me in bathing suit to remind myself that I am not fat, and to get over it. This happens to everyone, but you have really good tips on how to get over it!
Yes. I love that unicorn image. That’s awesome. As for fat days – they totally suck, but you’re right about everyone getting them. I like to strut my stuff a bit if I can. High heels and lipstick help a little.
I think most people experience these kinds of days, but I think the trick is to have more “I look good” days versus “I look fat days.” I really do love all of your tips. Positive affirmations also help. For example, if I think my legs look fat one day, I’ll counter that thought with something about how they support me and allow me to do all the things I love. Even though these thoughts come up every now and then, it’s important to let them go quickly and think about all the things that are amazing in our lives.
AMEN. When “fat days” come around, I find myself tensing up more and becoming over-aware of my body. All of these tips are things I agree with and things that I am guilty of not doing. I would try to eat less on puffy days or exercise to the max. I’m still tempted to do those things now, but the anxiety to do so has subsided significantly in the past half year. Thanks so much for this awesome, honest post, Amanda!
This is one of the most poignant and well-written posts I’ve read in a while, and fully justifies the vast amount of time that I spend reading blogs written by self-assured and intelligent women (such as you). I am so thankful that I discovered Running With Spoons, and I have flipped back through your archives to discover a load of posts like this that are SO HELPFUL when things are not going well for me, mentally or physically. I guarantee that this will be one of those posts for me in the future. Thank you so much for sharing this, Amanda. I hope that everyone having a “fluffy day” (I like that much better than “fat day”) will find these words inspiring. You’re right, there are much more important things for us to be fretting over – imaginary fat is not one of them!
Thank you so much for your kind words, Rachel 🙂
Just like most everyone, I definitely experience “the fat day”. When I do, it’s typically because I ate a heavy meal the night before or that time of the month. I try to drink lots of water, eat plenty of veggies and get in a great workout. It also helps to wear a favorite outfit, that you feel great in. Have a great weekend, Amanda!
I’m obsessed with the pictures you used in this post. Did you notice both of them have unicorns in them? 😛 The two things that always work for me are doing something that I enjoy, whether reading, shopping, etc and wearing nice clothes. You’re so right in that sweatpants and a ratty t-shirt, while comfortable out the wazoo, usually just exacerbate the problem.
I did notice 😉 And fluffy = automatic association with Despicable Me in my mind.
Great post, Amanda! I would guess that most of us have “fat days”, and I like that you brought up this topic. It’s even worse after having a baby, trust me!!!! Ugh!
I always complain for a little while, and then do #5- get over it. Because when it comes down to it, the only person who cares is me. I always feel so much better after a day of eating well and doing some kind of physical activity. I DO love the emergency outfit idea. Hilarious and sooooo true!
This post is great. Everything about it is spot on. I think it is so strange how one day I feel huge and the next day I feel unusually skinny. That tells you right there that it has nothing to do with how you actually look physically. I think getting out and doing something is a great way to deal with it, and get READY to go out. When I put on cute clothes, makeup and do my hair I always feel better. The worst thing we can do is put on baggy sweatpants and mope around the house. Thanks for the tips girl and have a great weekend!
Isn’t it crazy how much things can change overnight? It’s like we’re living secret lives after we fall asleep that we’re completely unaware of. Ooop. Scary thought 😉
YES!!! love this post! Words of wisdom every girl needs to read 🙂
Today is day 2 of the “fluffy day series” of my life. Urrggghhh. Two days in a row?? It’s stress…I know that. But reading this definitely helped. I’ll be sure to wear my best outfit and pretend like I’m feeling goddamn sexy 🙂
Fantastic post, Amanda! And perfect timing for a lot of us I’m sure 🙂 (myself included) I know that those types of days are a result of stress in some other area of my life, and I’m just taking it out on my body. I know that on those days, mirrors aren’t reliable because I’ll see myself not as I really am, but how those residual ED thoughts think I look. I agree, the best thing to do is not to wear those sweatpants or yoga pants (no matter how comfortable they are!) I put on some skinny jeans (how weird that I fight ‘fat days’ with skinny jeans!), some cute boots, and a tank top that I know shows off those hard-earned arm muscles I got from Pure Barre and I force myself to stop feeling like sh*t because I know that’s not how I really look! Thank you for this!
These are all some wonderful tips! Honestly, I hate days like these and I definitely have them sometimes. For me, it’s usually associated with that time of the month, but it’s still frustrating nonetheless. Getting up and moving around is a big one for me. That always helps me feel better as does drinking lots of water. I think you’re right though, a lot of the times it’s just in my head than actually being bloated. I can tell on days when I’m feeling down about something, I feel down about everything including my body. Definitely something I need to work on.
Yep, fat days are the pits. I try to remind myself that “this too shall pass”, and that I won’t feel fluffy for the rest of my life. I like putting a comfy and cute outfit on, and focusing on things that truly matter, like getting my hands on a cookie, or taking myself out shopping. Priorities.
<3.
Always nice to come across a gal who’s got her priorities straight 😉
AHHH Definitely have fat days (every person does, they just might not admit it). Biggest thing for me is having those “emergency outfits” for work that I can hide in, you know baggier shirt or a big bulky sweater. That and eating, like you said Hunger really isn’t going to help anything…AT ALL.
I absolutely have my fat days and they are the worrrrst. It’s helped a LOT by consistently going to the gym to meet with my trainer but they still come in once in a while. I find that getting outside and putting your mind on something else definitely helps.
Honestly I just tell myself to get over it. I have days where I feel like I’m on top of the world, super toned and fabulous. I remind myself that your body fluctuates and both happen. If anyone says that don’t have those days where they aren’t that confident that is a bold face lie. Great post.
OF course I do!!! In our house they are referred to as “yuck” days – and you are so right – there might be a little bloat, but the little bloat is 20 lbs in our minds!
You bring up some great points in dealing with “Fat” or “yuck” days !
For me – I have to have a “sweat session” – that is my only cure – not the punishing kind – but the sweat dripping kind (I break into a sweat after 10 minutes of running, doesn’t have to be hard and fast running), then am merry and can get dressed up and be all nice to EVERYONE …for the most part 😉
Hope your weekend is WONDERFUL Lady!
I totally have my fat days. Not as often as I used to but they totally totally happen! Usually when they occur, I can look in the mirror and “feel” that fluffy feeling but not see it. Or, better yet, I look in the mirror, start to see/feel the fluffy feeling but bypass it and ignore it by saying – you know you are perfect, no one else sees what you think you are seeing/feeling step away from the mirror, do not change your clothes! Leave the house now! lol. Whatever works, right? Oh, and lately, the fluffy feeling is in my stomach due to bloating from too many vegetables. This week I am trying to avoid that by skipping veggies at lunch and basically eating oatmeal and yogurt with peanut butter instead. Basically the same breakfast and lunch but we love that, yes?
Oh girl, I’ve definitely been there with the veggies… They may not actually -make- us fat, but they can certainly make us feel that way. Nothing like the bloat that comes from too many veggies to make you feel like you’ve put on a few. Breakfast for lunch is the perfect solution for that.
Yep. We all have them, past eating issues or not. I’m sorry you had one of those days but it seems like you really handled it in the best way possible. I agree that getting out and moving a little really does help. I like to go for walks on those days, and I try to do my best to eat healthy so my body at least can feel my best even if I don’t think I look it. Any girl (or guy) can benefit from this post, since it will hit us all at some point. And if it doesn’t, I’d like to know that person’s secret 🙂
Yes! Great tips.
I definitely definitely always try and identify the problem. In the end, it’s not that you’re feeling fat, because well fat isn’t a feeling…it’s the underlying issue that is trying to make itself apparent, therefore making you feel down on yourself (and added stress), which can actually lead to those “fat” feelings, like digestion issues, bloating, and everything else that comes with stressful feelings.
And I’m also a big fan of strutting your stuff. No one else will notice that invisible fat day, so you might as well be confident, wear a smile, and fake it till you make it:)
I used to experience more fat days when I was so unaware and unattached to how I was actually feeling, but not that I can finally admit I have sad and bad days, I don’t have those days pop up as often anymore.
PS I want to thank you for the text yesterday<3 I appreciate your words!
Anytime, love <3 Still thinkin' of ya, and hoping that you're doing well.
I love every.single.thing about this post. The points you bring up and mention are so true! Sometimes we just need those simple, gentle reminders. It’s easy to beat ourselves up on days like that, and I know I have been guilty. I’m also guilty of throwing on the baggy sweats and not doing my makeup because, well, I FEEL like sh*t, so then I’ll make sure that I look like it, too. But you’re absolutely right, in those instances it’s all about the brain and what it tells you, versus actually BEING fat. The best approach is to work against that negative self-talk and really work to treat yourself good on a day like that. That’s the best way to boost your mood and get you to think about your worth as a person, aside from your weight. I’ve saved this post in my ‘worth saving’ folder in my email. This is definitely one that I will revisit. 🙂