Happy Wednesday, friends!
I’m sitting out this week’s WIAW party in favour of a slightly more personal post (read: I haven’t even had the time to think about food, much less photograph it), so I’m sorry if you came here expecting pictures of delicious eats.
But let me explain!
A couple of days ago, I got hit with some news — news that left me scatterbrained and sleep-deprived. J is coming to visit me… today. In fact, he may already be here by the time you read this post. It’s good news — fantastic news — but it’s news for which I definitely wasn’t prepared.
I like being prepared. I like having a general idea of how my day/week/month is going to pan out. I like being ready for things so I can accommodate my routine accordingly. I can handle small unforeseen circumstances that pop up, but this? Not that small, and therefore, not that easy to handle.
You’re looking at me like I’m crazy… My guy, who I haven’t seen in over 4 months, surprises me with a visit, and my first reaction when he told me was one of panic and irritation rather than joy. Panic and irritation. Panic over whether or not I was going to be able to get ready in time; irritation over the fact that he didn’t tell me sooner and give me more time to adjust to the changes that I’d have to make to my routine. Never mind that the poor guy had to bend over backwards to be able to get away and spend a week with me — I was upset that it threw a wrench into my regular routine. I mean, how messed up is that?
Answer: very… and I can see that now that I’ve had a bit more time to process everything, but that’s what it took — time. Well, time and a few days of running around like a headless chicken, trying to get ahead with school, work, and blogging so that I wouldn’t have to worry about those things as much when J was here. I’m clearly a winner when it comes to the whole spontaneity thing 🙄 But I’m getting better (I think)! It just takes a little more work when it comes to the bigger things.
So that’s that. I’ll be picking J up from the airport in a couple of hours, and he’ll be staying with me until next Wednesday. I managed to get most of my posts written up over the past couple of days, so I won’t be disappearing on you guys like I did the last time he was here. I can’t promise that I’ll be as active around the blog world for the next week or so, but I have a feeling you’ll forgive me for that one 😉
Would you say you’re a spontaneous person?
How do you deal with big changes to your plans/routine?
Hey Amanda! First time reader of your blog here. What a wonderful place you have. More so when we have something similar already. I can be quite inflexible at times too and I absolutely go crazy when my plans change so I can relate to this. Hope you had a great time with J though! I’m sure his surprise was worth it. 🙂
While you’re reaction may not have been what J or you were expecting, it’s not horrible either. It has nothing to do with your feelings for the boy, but 100% to do with your personality. Hopefully J gets that. You are a planner, you like routine and when things deviate from that routine, especially when it happens last minute, it’s hard for you to embrace it with open arms. I get it because I’m the same way. It’s in our nature and there are some very good aspects to being a planner. Without planners, nothing would get done in an organized fashion (obviously). That being said, we could probably learn to be a little more flexible…within a structure format, of course.
Enjoy your man. Have a great time.
“It has nothing to do with your feelings for the boy, but 100% to do with your personality. ” <-- Thank you for putting into words exactly what I was trying to figure out in my head… It's like you get me 😉
As a fellow planner (and I’ll speak for myself when I say a recovering control freak) I completely understand. My husband’s former job involved a ridiculous amount of travel, and it was pretty unpredictable. I would get so frustrated with him when he would come or go and I couldn’t plan around it. For a long time, it played into my disordered eating/exercising, and I know that’s part of the reason I handled it so badly. I think, no matter where you are in your recovery, major surprises like this can stir up a lot of negative emotions – even when it’s a positive thing! Be kind to yourself, savor your time with J, and know that you’ll be more “prepared” next time, at least in your initial reaction. 🙂
I still struggle with spontaneity from time to time, but have learned to be more accepting of it. I think it all began with this move to Australia. We had sold our house/cars, packed up, moved back to the East coast for a month to visit family, left my job, etc…then found out my husband’s project was cancelled in Perth. Where were we headed in 3 weeks’ time? India? London? Holland? It was a nightmare!!! Oh, and I was pregnant! hahah! Luckily we ended up in Brisbane, but man…
I understand how surprises can mess up routine. I LOVE routine, but one thing I’ve learned is that accepting spontaneity in our lives opens us up to a whole new level of adventure and experience, and really forces us to grow (in the best possible way). Embrace it, and have so much fun!!! Xx
Spontaneity is something I have been working extremely hard on in addition to my relationship with food. They go hand in hand actually. I talked to my nutritionist once about how, for example, someone shows up at work with a dessert and asks me if I want some it is an absolute no. But not because I’m scared of the food itself, but because I didn’t plan it within my day…I wasn’t expecting it. She asked me if I was scared because I wasn’t able to “adjust” the rest of my day’s food accordingly, and after thinking about it I told her “actually, no”. It didn’t have to do with calories anymore…it had to do with it not being planned.
Then she asked me if I was like this in other aspects of my life and surprisingly…I am. If someone asks me last minute to go to the bar with them after work I automatically say no. It’s automatic. But now that I’m more aware of it I realized that instead of immediately saying no I don’t answer and I think about it. Because after I sit and think and rationalize the situation I realize that it actually DOES sound fun…even if it “messes” with my routine…my plan. Because living is more than routines and plans. Living is BEING spontaneous and enjoying time with people you care about.
I hope you have an AMAZING time with J. After he leaves you are going to be SO glad that he surprised you…PROMISE!!!
ROUTINE IS MY LIFE – Spontaneity is RATHER RARE in my life. I have planner after planner all over my house and lists too. I need to know what’s going on. If someone showed up at my door unannounced, yeah I would probably pretend as though I wasn’t home or something! LOL! So I definitely don’t think you’re a crazy! But have fun with J 🙂 And Happy Thanksgiving!
Aww that’s so exciting J is coming to visit! Although I can totally relate to the sense of panic – I’m totally not a spontaneous person either. I like to know my plans like a week ahead of time and I always plan everything to a T. I got a lot better about it over the summer, but now that I’m so busy during the weeks, I’m back to being an ultra planner. It has its benefits, but also its disadvantages. 😛
Anyways, I hope you have a great time with J! Don’t even worry about keeping up with blogging/reading. We’ll still be here in a week. 🙂
More often then not I am not a spontaneous person, although I have surprised myself at times. Your reaction is rather reasonable and I think mine would have been similar. I hope you enjoy the next few days!
I’m a little sad that blogging factored into your feelings of stress. I want blogging to be a happy ,relaxing thing that you look forward to.
Please don’t ever worry about letting readers down or anything like that :), I know you set yourself reeeally high standards( forgive me if I’m wrong!). Just, remember to be nice to yourself, that is an order ;).
Spontaneity…what even is that?? Haha, yeah ,not my fortay. At all.<- understatement.
I hope you have an amazing time with J!
Oooh you should bake for him! Y'know just in case you haven't comp-let-ely stolen his heart already, your baking oughta' do it.
And I vote your pumpkin chocolate chip cookies. I've made them every week since you posted the recipe , and can confirm that they.are.good. And wo doesn't like ( LOVE) cookies? ( If J doesn't you should stop seeing him immediately)
Xxx
Well you know what they say — the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach 🙂 I’ll be baking up something for him for sure… but I ran out of pumpkin! 😥
Aww girl, can I relate to this any more?? I totally know that feeling of panic and irritation when plans are thrown in front of me that I was not expecting, even if they are awesome plans. And then I get frustrated even more that I felt so irritated about a great thing! My personality just leans toward vicious cycles like that unfortunately. Nevertheless, I hope you have a fabulous time with J, and don’t worry about us. We’ll be right here for ya 🙂
Impulsive – yes, spontaneous – not really. I like my schedule too even when it’s bit messy by my standards so I almost always get grumpy if someone suddenly tries to change it – change the time we are going somewhere, the place, the day (I might kill for that!). Guests who stay for the night or the week make me uncomfortable in general because they always stay up late and then sleep through most of the morning when I am most active… Truth is, I’m not sociable at all. Mr Right is a whole different story though. I miss him terribly and a surprise flight to me would probably make me jump to the ceiling. Have you tried how high you can jump? 😛 Forget about the worries and enjoy your week. The world won’t end if you ignore it for a few days.
I’m still super happy that you found someone you adore that much <3 And I have to admit that I did jump pretty high when I saw my man 🙂
I’m a spontaneous person for sure but I also know that when a plan has been made and set out I don’t love it when it changes. Like if I’ve organised a few weeks out to go to dinner at a set location with friends and then on the day they want to go somewhere else. Not sure why but it is just like in my mind I know that is the ‘plan’ and I hate deviating from that. But if there has been no plan I’m so happy to say hey lets do dinner today or a drink.
Enjoy your visit with J, sure you will have a great time together and all those warpy thoughts will fade away once you see him 🙂
Oh honey! I’m so happy for you! Don’t worry about your first reaction…to me, that is a completely normal response! I can be spontaneous, but I kinda like to have a rough plan if that makes any sense. But I’m still not a big planner. Hmm, it’s like, I want to know WHEN I might have to be spontaneous…general time frame…so I can prepare my mind! 😉 But I WILL say that the few moments that I’ve stepped outside my comfort zone, it has definitely paid off with some memories that I will treasure forever! Make some memories this week sweets…be in the moment…be in love…soak it up! And DON’T worry about the blog! Love you! xoxox
Ahhh can I ever relate- This is something I am actually working on- trying to be more flexible with spontaneous events occur with little to no notice! Its ironic as I used to be so spontaneous and go with the flow!
Regardless, Have an absolute blast with J and enjoy the time away from the computer- you deserve it!
Oh I totally know where you are coming from and Amanda there is nothing bad about feeling that way, that is just how some of us are, it’s about how you deal with that initial feeling that counts and you’ve realised how daft it is to feel that like and then got on with it 🙂 I definitely like my routines and to have things planned out, it’s my personality type, but I’ve learned to deal as I’ve gotten older and now I’m happy to say I can be much more flexible!
I’m really bad at dealing with changes in my routine… which is ironic, because I used to be so spontaneous. I hate to feel annoyed at the idea of a friend coming just because then my schedule/plans/routine are off. Thanks for this post though, I don’t feel like such a terrible person over it now!
I like my routine too and can see where you’re coming from. I tend to be a creature of habit & get a tad bit irritated/thrown off when something comes in to disrupt said routine. Hope you enjoy your time with your man!! Enjoy, you deserve it!! 🙂
Wow really? Lol- that’s funny an great. I hope you guys have fun. I love spontaneity- think I actually thrive on it. Have you always reacted like this to spontaneous events? Or
Is this a bit of a fear that developed after the raw vegan dark days? Anyway- Send lots of Love to J from all of us.
I’ve always been this way — I think it’s just part of my personality.
Oh man can I relate to the sudden change of plan anxiety. Maybe not as much in the boy sense, but I do feel you on this completely. That being said, I’m glad you realized it was slightly nutty to think of it that way and I hope you have an amazing week with J 🙂 I’m so happy for you!
We must share a brain because I would have an identical reaction. Hopefully I would have been able to get over it and do what it took to prepare like you did…but who knows. I might have pouted. And took a week off of blogging haha.
Have fun with your man! 🙂
I totally feel you–I get so rigid in my planning and structure that even great things seem like a challenge, but I feel like it’s good surprises that challenge us to step outside of our comfort zones and enjoy all that life has to offer. Have a great time friend!!!
Aaah that is SO exciting!! Haha I always feel a bit out-of-place in the “blogworld” because I’m not Type A like everyone else seems to be, and spontaneity comes pretty easily to me! I could definitely use some of your super-planning/preparing skills though! HAVE FUN WITH J CHICA! <3
Trade ya! I’ll give you some of my Type A for some of your spontaneity!
My ED gave me a means to turn into the biggest control freak ever, and it was miserable. Luckily, I’ve come a long way from that and am able to roll with the punches.
I hope you have a wonder time time with J. Enjoy it. Whatever else it is that’s worrying you, that might fall apart– it won’t, and it can wait. <3
I know it’s hard to not plan but try it! no worrying about blog stuff,. We’ll be here. enjoy the suddenness of it all. I bet there will be great times and moments had! <3
Oh wow! How lovely that he’s coming to visit. Four months is a really long time. I hope you enjoy spending time together.
I understand how an unexpected change in expected routine can be stressful; I am currently dealing with something similar and am still trying to get my head around it. Keep calm and carry on, girl!
You too, girl! Hope everything is okay <3
Type A personalities…it’s a blessing and a curse, isn’t it? I can completely relate. But, it sounds like you handled it better than most people [like us] would. Sometimes it just takes a few minutes of acting like a crazy person to realize how ridiculous it is.
I’m so, so happy that he was able to come and visit you and I know that you’re going to have an amazing time. Enjoy every precious minute and don’t worry about anything else. (:
Oh I completely understand, I would be freaking out! I’m a big time planner but am trying to be more spontaneous. Have fun and have a great week!
Ahhhh have fun you two!! I totally understand where you are coming from. I like routine too. But you are so lucky!!! You’re going to have the best week ever:)
Have fun, you crazy kids!!
I’m sure a lot of your anxiety relates to food as well — when you two will be eating, what you’ll be eating (since I doubt he’d go for the same foods as you lol, being a guy and all). I mean, I know you’ve gotten past most of these issues, but I know that there is probably also some slight anxiety that surrounds these as well since it is easy to fall into a certain routine — even one that’s infinitely healthier than the one you had when you were sick.
I know that whenever I spend a long weekend with my boyfriend, I don’t give food much thought, but I am definitely conscious of the fact that I don’t eat those foods when I’m by myself, and don’t think I would even really consider it because I’ve fallen into my own new routine as well! But my relationship has let me realize how good life can be when you allow these changes and new things to happen.
I’m sure you’ll have a wonderful time with your boyfriend 🙂 I’m really happy for you guys!
Thanks lady! We managed to do just fine with food last time, so here’s hoping for a repeat.
Have so much fun!!! I’m getting better with spontaneity, but I am DEFINITELY a planner!
I definitely understood when you told me you were caught off guard – I’m ok with going off-plan, as long as I’m aware that an off-plan day is coming up! I tend to have the same reaction when people tell me last minute that they’re coming to visit or I decide to go out for last-minute plans…almost irritated that my routine is being thrown off. But as soon as plans/visits do actually happen, I realize how ridiculous I’m being and that spontaneity is how adventures begin 😉
I hope you have a wonderful week with J love!! (p.s. putting those two words together almost sounds like a rapper name…)
Rofl! Now that definitely got a laugh out of me. I blame JLo and Jay Z.
I hope you have a wonderful visit with your guy! I like to plan out things sometimes but I usually just try to go with the flow. My house isn’t always ready for spontaneous visitors but it’s usually nothing a few hours deep cleaning can’t fix.